A chance to survive and heal and hopefully one day, conceive, is turning out to be a nightmare.
After finishing my last Namibian Adventure, on my way home i was struck by the worst kind of pain imaginable. debilitating kind of pain, the type i'd want someone to put me out of my misery for. after freaking my sister out i was taken for an emergency procedure to have one of two tumours removed, one of the little bastards wrapped itself around my uterus, which was the main cause of the worst feeling imaginable.
after about R18 000 worth of tests it turned out to be cancer. Ovarian. tho i spent years trying to convince myself that i never wanted to have kids, when the question is put before you, no playing around now, is it yes, or no, it was a definate yes from me. the only problem is, the process in which i now need to go thru before i start my Chemotherapy treatments. not only am i still struggling mentally from the original operation, i now struggle mentally and emotionally from everything that happened after and is yet to happen. my biggest concern of course, financial. My plan was to work to pay my mother back the R120 000 from her savings that she used to save me. now i need to go thru fertility process, where the drugs alone will cost approximately R10 000. then the extraction and freezing of my eggs, and additional R6000. then there's the Chemo, the wigs, the possible inability to work. i dont know whats going to happen but if the stress doesnt kill me first then this will. i have some money saved to cover rent and food for about 4 months. (i hope) but the costs are ever growing and i dont know which way is up. so here i am, swallowing my pride, i had hoped that it would never have to come to this but here it is. i need help. i want to live. i want to (and will) survive this. but financially it is the most difficult time of my life as the numbers keep growing but the income becomes less and less over the next few months.
so here i am, just a small town girl, living in a lonely world on her knees trying to keep her head up but it keeps wanting to fall.