This is a thing i have never done and i don't actually like doing either.
Thank you for taking the time to read this, i do really appreciate it alot.
Like you have noticed. im a Transgender Female MTF. this is not a choice or a life style but i was meant to be a female.
My mind has always been hardwired to be female but i have to life it in a male body. waking up everyday being the person that im not is a hard time in life, that`s the time i started building up depression over the years and as you know Depression is 87% cause to all deaths globally, Depression leads to suicidal.
I have always had suicidal thoughts until i managed to attempt one.
i have been in a mental hospital for 3 to 4 weeks where they could not help me told me it will be a long process to fix my mind, from since then i have never seen or herd from those doctors anymore.
I have been searching around for other doctors to seek out help because i know im sick. i have been hanging on a tread that is life threatening to me until i have found the right doctor.
Im 27 years of age going for 28 in April, All the doctors i went to see until i found the right one soaked up my medical aid that i cant even afford to buy my own antidepressants any more, i have been jobless for almost 5 years and in South Africa its not easy to find a job. i have been living with my gran ever since i lost my job and she doesn't even support me for being Trans.
Living is South Africa is not fun! We don't have a well medical institute that helps you with your illness, you will be lucky to walk out alive if you go to one of our government hospitals, That`s why 90% of all South Africans have a Medical Aid (Medical Insurance) This allows us to visit private hospitals to get the top notch treatment and have 90% chance of getting out alive instead of having to worrier about the government hospitals where you will most probably die of bad treatment or poor service.
I don't have a family anymore because my mother decided to abandon me when i had my first suicidal attempt, My father past away 6 years ago from an heart attack.
having Depression is a ticking time bomb, you think i might be smiling NOW but maybe tomorrow you find out that i have committed suicide, That`s how bad depression it.
I have accepted and started calling myself a Transgender. and NO it doesn't mean im trans that i already have breast. Im Trans because i don't accept my body i have to live in (Female in a Male body).
i wanto go for a sex change so badly so that i can start accepting my body and my self and get rid of my depression, this i the only cure for my depression!
yet again, its not a choice to be Trans. just picture yourself waking up every morning and be someone you don't wanto be. you have to lie to everyone you have to hide from everyone and you can never enjoy life.
I don't want that anymore. im done hiding, im done laying im mostly done laying to myself i just wanto enjoy life the way i was meant to be.
i would really like you support in helping me with donations so that i can at least get my medication, because my risk of killing my self grows even bigger by the day with out my medication.
This is not a joke or a lie, this story has my life at risk, if you believe and support suicidal people then PLEASE HELP ME. im not asking for a paycheck donation, but the more people donate to my mental sickness the better my chance of living my life.
Thank you in advance for your donation, i will return the favor when i can possibly do it.