I have Bulimia Nervosa that falls into Anorexia which causes dangerously low bloods and is now life threatening. I've battled this for 13 years, Its terrifying to speak out but I have to because I desperately need help. My condition is deteriorating rapidly, recently again I came close to my body shutting down, being rushed through resuscitation as doctors fought to get life saving medication into my veins as they collapsed one by one.
I've spent the last 14 months in and out of hospital having emergency treatment for my low bloods, coming so close to death screaming and begging for them to help me as I was rushed through resuscitation with my body shutting down and my muscles wasting away, I have other medical conditions; Severe asthma- nebuliser controlled, Sjogrens syndrome (auto immune disease- still not 100% confirmed but starting treatment for it) I've spent weeks on heart machines and been told by doctors that with my present condition I may not see my 30th Birthday. Ive recently been told I'm showing signs of the start of heart failure bringing my worst fear closer to reality and causing me so much frustration that no matter how much fight I give this illness won't loosen its grip it has on me
The treatment I need is not available on the NHS and costs an awful lot of money. I am pleading for help to raise the money I need by donating as little as £1 the hope I have is to spend time in a private residential treatment facility. I want so much to beat this horrible illness and help others in the process.
Im so grateful that I was able to raise funds to receive 8 weeks treatment in Africa, and I'm gutted to say whilst there I didn't receive a third of the treatment I was proposed to receive, I was constantly put at a high risk of health risk; including being rushed into Intensive care over there as my bloods wasn't checked for over 4 weeks even though I constantly urged them too as I was terrified and recognised the signs that my bloods could be low. I lost a stone in weight over there and became frustrated at promises becoming distant thoughts. I refuse to take negatives though, there was positives- I became aware of something I've always pushed aside and became numb against but that I have post traumatic stress disorder and I'm putting this at the forefront of treatment rather than pushing it aside which is a challenge but needs to be done. I learned to find peace with myself and I also was introduced to some amazing people who helped to challenge my outlook on life.
Ive returned home mentally stronger but my health has deteriorated and never did I feel id be so poorly coming back from treatment. Im still fighting but once again I'm constantly fighting for my life in hospital and I can feel the weakness become more intense.
I urge my supporters to stay with me and help me raise awareness in the hope I can receive help and my biggest ambition is to help others to understand this awful condition that is killing 100s a week but goes on being unrecognised because its a secret illness. I don't expect every single person not to understand, there is a lot we all don't understand but in which case please agree that if you don't understand then don't judge negatively.
I want to help other sufferers too- its awful feeling lost and lonely in an illness and nowhere to turn. There is hope- research is being developed and i hope one day life's can be saved, and I hope so much mine is too.
I have fire in my belly to do this and I'm willing to do every single challenge that comes my way.
Im not going to pretend I'm not scared! Im terrified, I want to make a difference and inspire others by giving hope to sufferers fighting the same battle, to enable them to break free from an eating disorder and not give up hope. I will give regular updates through my Facebook page and you can follow my journey.
Thank you for taking the time to read this and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for any help you can give.
If I could recover and help one person find the strength to fight through and find happiness then thats more than I could ever hope for.