surviving poverty

 Hello. My name is Amanda. I have two beautiful little girls Taylor and Alleyna. We are struggling to survive. I come from a very poor family. Both my parents are addict. My mother past a way from an overdose and my father well he's alive at least. I don't allow him in my life. He abused me very badly when I was 7 till I was 14 and his girlfriends would too when ever they would get high. My school counselor finally got me out of that situation and told my grandmother who took me in. I thought I was saved. But I wasn't her husband did very bad things to me so at 15 I left and got a job and paid rent to a friends mom who let me stay with her. Because I had to pay rent I dropped out of school. Now even though I have had a tough life I went back to school achieved my g.e.d and did get some college education in business. I have strived to survive and make the best of life and try to see the good in the world. I have lost faith many time's and I am in a situation where I just can't see the light. I was curious why I never get approved for anything cell phone cable electric nothing well when I got my own place and inquired about services I found out that when I was 7 my parents put utility bills in my name and other things  a car loan even! My credit is horrible. I can't afford to take off work to go to courts to try and dispute these charges and the companies won't take them a way with out me taking them to court. Its nuts. I also can't collect any help from the state because I make $19.43 too much a month. So i just can't win. I really need help to get me over this hump regain my faith in this world and so I can fix these things in my life for my girls. My eldest is legally blind so it is hard to find facilities that will help me. I have her enrolled in the division of the blind and that helpsnwith her school stuff but not for my home life for her. I just don't know what  to do. Now Christmas is here and they just needs so much clothes new shoes and diapers. I lost my fiance and childrens fathe he was the one who showed me at 22,this world isnt a cruel place. He was in a hit and run and no one witnessed anything. Our car insurance didn't even cover his funeral arrangements. he had no life insurance and not enough in s.s. to really help. I was three months pregnant with our now five month old. I am about to lose everything we've worked so hard for. I feel like I'm drowning. Please someone help us. Help my girls! Help me give them the life I never had. I want to fix my credit and catch up on my bills and get them clothes that fit and have a real Christmas dinner with the power on. If I was able to fix my credit I would work towards buying a home investing 10$out of my check each week for my girls college fund. Please help my little family survive in this economy. We don't need much just the necessities to fix what was out of my control. I was born in this world with a rocky mountain to climb and I keep pushing myself for my girls. But I just don't have it anymore there's no where I can go I can't take another step forward because I have these barriers in my way. If I can get some help a push a hand to help pull me through this I know I can do great things. I just need people to believe in me and show me the world is a good place. Thank you for your time.        Amanda's Family