Hello people who restore faith in humanity!
I need a bit of help with getting through life until I find a new job. I am looking to change my career path to web development and have been doing online short courses to gain the necessary qualifications. I have one great potential job offer but they only have intakes in 6 months time. I am still looking for something else in the mean time.
I have struggled with Borderline Personality Disorder since I was 10 years old. It made my childhood experience very traumatic for me with having an abusive father and an emotionally unavailable mother along with being groomed and raped, having an eating disorder and destroying all relationships with my family. My mother also put a stop to every attempt I made at getting help or even at making friends for fear that they would know what our lives are truly like.
My dad passed away during my matric finals and we got enough money to move to Cape Town for me to study chemical engineering at UCT. My mother moved with me and we had to sell our home as well. My mother was unemployed for over a decade for fear of my father threatening her life and stalking her at her work place and as a result has gotten herself into a large amount of debt to support me. She has finally managed to start her own business and it is picking up but she is still drowning in debt. I started working after graduating and moved away from home to have some space on my own. I love my mother but our relationship is very difficult. While working, I struggled to keep my mood swings under control and slapped one of my co workers for no reason at all. I started seeking help and had multiple misdiagnoses. The effects of the wrong medications gave me panic attacks and severe anxiety at work so I eventually had to leave my job.
I still continued to seek help, running myself into debt seeing to my needs and helping my mother but also recklessly spending on others because I felt I had no reason to live. Months later, I am finally on the right track to getting my life together. I have the support of my psychiatrist and therapist who have already brought their fees down to as low as possible to accommodate me. Now that I finally have a life worth living I want to do more with my life.
What your donation would go towards: Any donations will help me:
- join a medical aid,
- join a gym to get motivated and active,
- join a support group,
- be financially independent from my mother and not put further strain on her,
- start creating and selling crafts at local craft market to start earning my own money in the mean time
- have enough to fund transport to be able to do volunteer work and get me out the house.
Right now I share a 1 bedroom apartment with my mom and the bedroom has been converted to her place of business. I share a bed with her in the kitchen and I also feel that if I try exercising at home, I will be in her way, judged and put down as my mother was the reason for my eating disorder a few years back. Please help me make up for the damage I have made in my life as I am really trying to make up for it and just need a little bit of help getting there and helping my mother until I can get a new job.
Thank you for hearing me out. I will appreciate any donation you can give.