Skin surgery

It's not how much we give but how much love we put into giving - Mother Theresa

Imagine if you were standarding there on the edge, imagine if you were lying there you arms soaked in your own blood or imagine if all the light in your life vanished and you were consumed by darkness.

My names Alfred Chueu. I am 21 years old. I live in South Africa. My life seemed normal to others, I was 13 years old boy who went to school and that was all they knew about me but deep down I was dying inside the craziest thing is i thought I was living.

It all happened when I was in primary school doing my last year which was grade 7. I was so filled with energy and excitement since it was my last year. One day something horrible happened. I woke up inching and my parents sent me to the hospital and the doctor give me the treatment for the illness and we all thought it was just a normal chicken pox. The next morning I was inching so much that I found out the chicken pox was now on every part of my body. My parents thought it was normal since every child goes through this. Through the past days it got so bad that I couldn't even talk and eat, now it was in my throat I could feel it taking every last breath I had. My body was so weak that all I could do is lay in my bed the whole day, every day. My mother always told me " it will be alright child " but deep down in her eyes I could see she was losing hope, i could see she thought I could die.

I was out of school for so long that my classmates starting visiting me. Eventually with everyone's support I got better. It was like a miracle. I start going to school again.

What everyone else except my family didn't know is that the chicken pox left horrible scars in my body. It was now my big secret to keep from every one else.They were so horrible that I started wearing long sleeves and jeans to cover them for all my life until now in the present.

Through my attire high school days I made no friends because I was afraid of what they could eventually find about me. I always stayed in my room when I came back to school. I lived like this until college. I live with both parents my mother doesn't work my father is a taxi driver. I always told them about me going to do surgery but they always said they can't afford it. The never knew how the scars affected me, how they made me feel ?. I was always depressed and tried to kill myself multiple times but I just couldn't kill myself. I remember going to school and the was this girl who cold see right through my eyes that I was crying for help. It was the most painful moments of my life.

I'm 21 years old now I'm in college. I'm doing well in school but I'm always having suicidal thoughts I always feel useless and weak. I don't know if I could finish school? I don't even know if I could make it this year. All the pain I went through is like is in one bag. I'm in soon much pain that I don't know if I could take anymore.

If you the kind of person who likes to be happy and see other people live a happy life, i will really appreciate if you can give any amount.

As you can tell Im not asking for a million dollars but only few dollars