Due to financial constraints, and the demands from my in-laws for a lavish wedding, I had spent close to US$90k on the wedding. My sister had offered to let me and my wife live in her flat by asking the tenants to terminate the rental contract, but she dismissed the offer stating that the location of the flat was not safe and fit for her needs, and we agreed to purchase a new home, as I was financially constraint, we agreed that she will manage the equity (along with the support of her parents) and I will manage the cost related to the wedding (with the support of my family). The flat was ultimately in her sole name, as there were tax complications if I was also a named owner, due to the fact that HK charges double stamp duty on foreigners acquiring property.
Since she left the matrimonial home (7 months after marriage), she has been very unresponsive, and claimed that I do not allocate sufficient time to her needs; when I questioned what is it that I have not complied with, she responded that I had done all she had requested - however it is not sufficient in a marriage just to accommodate and meet her needs. Further to this, she has been extremely disrespectful to my friends and family, with both her verbal and emotional responses, which led to the first major argument!
Verbal abuses in relation to the quality of my mother’s upbringing, and the ability of my sister and I have been questioned by her, in a derogating manner.
Post her desertion, I have been reflecting on the relationship, and the marriage; speaking to her friends, councillors, etc, and concluded that it was very difficult to reconcile the issues given that her and her parents had repeated suggested that they will file for divorce and was not willing to reason out the issues.
My wife had refused to thank my parents and send them home after the wedding, further to this, she was not in the mood for any intimate touch that very evening and complained that she was very tired. During our honeymoon, where we participated in a charity run, she was interviewed by media, and didn't share with media that she was on honeymoon, she had also refused any form of intimate touch. At home, she would not allow for me to hug her during sleep, and had on a few incidences elbowed me with strength as a reminder that she did not want to be touched. We had discussion on this matter, and her explanation was that sleep without distraction was high in her priority.
Finally, my extended family, as part of the Chinese custom, would give gold/jewellery to the couple as gifts, most of the gifts would be worn by my wife, the jewellery is worth a substantial amount, and I seeking to recover as much as I can.
My wife has appointed a legal representative (previously using another law firm), and petitioned for a divorce asking for all forms of ancillary relief (maintenance payments, periodical payments, lump sum order, settlement and transfer of property). Her parents are rather wealthy, and she has all the financial support she needs to push this as far as she can!
Due to my status in Hong Kong, I do not qualify for legal financial aid, and with the downturn in the financial services economy, I have been unemployed for over 7 months, currently working part time (education sector) to support myself, but as I am unqualified, my income is unstable and insufficient to support appointment of a legal representative to ensure that I get the protection I need.
Thank you for your help in anticipation.