Quest for Healing and Hope

I am a 48 years old. I have always had an all optimistic positive mind set where there is something good even in bad situation. However, after a series of devastating events, I am lost and need your help.

Here is my story:

I met my girlfriend in 2008 then a 2 years later we got engaged. On the morning of September 26th of 2013, I got up for work at 8:30 am for work. I gave my fiancé a kiss goodbye for the day at 10am and she smiled while she was laying in bed. At 11:30 am, her son sent me a text to call him so I called then told me "moms dead"(found out later it was from a blood clot causing her to stop breathing while sleeping). Everything inside me just stopped once I heard that.

Tragic events just kept hitting me after that. I was let go from my job 2 months later.

I decided to go to Hospice counseling to help with what just happened. I was drowning in grief and depression. At one point I was so depressed I did not want to be around any more. Thankfully my Hospice counselor helped me enough not to give up on living.

With no job I ended up losing my home, and was living in my truck for a while. Eventually I moved back to Buffalo, NY to be with family and where I grew up so I was able to start to get back on my feet and found a job.

Unfortunately, due to a unsuccessful orthopaedic operation on my club foot, I was for reduced to living on disability payments. At this point my depression spiralled further.

I spoke with a counselor in Buffalo who agreed that it would be a good idea to return to Florida for health reasons but more importantly to allow myself to find the HOPE to help me move forward in life.

This is where I need your help.

I was making such progress with my counselor in Florida. I truly believe returning there will help me return to the optimistic, positive person I was.