please help me see my children

I've come to  the point where im having to ask for strangers generiosity because i dont know where else to turn . after almost three yrs of this , tons of money wasted, and most of all the distress for my children. ,my ex husband refuses to b mature in any manner that pertains to them basically he wants me to have no contact whatsover and no plan towards any. by the way he does want excessive child support. but because of his money and connections he has actually gotten away with it , this town is a little crooked like that . in other words a judge here actually signed that order permittong my controlling abusive ex husband to actually keeo the kids away from me on no grounds whatsover . passed drug tests even hair follicle never failed !!! no open cps case againsgt me or anyone involved with me is open .. every time my x has called cps they have always dismissed the allegations. no evidence whatsover of abuse. pictures videos witness of me being a bad mom Nothing .. yes ive had some severe depression and ptsd from this but who wouldnt those kids r my heart and soul hes doingthis to control me and he wants to see me miserable. I mean these boys were with me and only me for the most part thier dad would come and go althoughhe wasnt the best i thought it was the right thing to do. WEll im going to start school on the 23 of Feb for better life for me n my boys unfortunately i had two ,icarriages s right after he took them but i, going to keep my faith ,, I finally found the perfect lawyer . shes not from this town shes ready to fight for me but of course that takes 3500 hundred dollars ,, anything anyone  can do will help God bless i pray rhis speaks to someiones heart.. im jus a desperste mom who misses her kids .. and i ve been horribly wrong by the courts bc i dont have money.. its jus not right , but i believe God will even the score.. God Bless. THanks for lookin