So in 2016 I moved from England to Canada with my partner, we had a grand plan. A two year work visa was in place, we moved to Victoria, BC for her unpaid placement/internship in conservation science. For the first year the plan was that I’d work (any job.. landed a landscaping job) and pay rent. For the second year we would switch roles and I could push for a forestry placement/internship. At the end of April she was getting ready for a field season for 6 weeks up the central coast in Bella Bella whilst I hold the fort. Two days before she left she broke my heart. I’m here, in a job that’s irrelevant for my future, with a year in Canada pretty much wasted, but at least I helped her onto her ideal career ladder eh?
Now, in the past few weeks I’ve been going through the emotions, depressed, anxious and mildly suicidal. Last week I bit the bullet and shed the addictions that held me back for over 12 years. I’m now cigarette free, caffeine free and I’m taking hold of my own life to prove my own self worth. I’ve joined a bouldering gym, clawing my finances into check and keeping a tidy house and lifestyle.
You would believe that I’d be better off financially, but it’s not quite like that, I invested a lot of time and money thinking for the longterm benefits of being in a partnership. I have debts and ongoing payments to make.
To find a paid Forestry placement/internship is a real challenge and I should be thinking about going back to Uni in September to persue my own original goals that I sacrificed for her and the partnership. Keeping afloat with rent/bills/debts whilst doing an unpaid placement/internship is not going to be possible on my own. I also have to be able to afford flights home at the end of this ordeal.
The end goal is to start a career in forest research and make a difference in the world in the subject I’m passionate about and have the most knowledge on.
Forestry plays an incrediblely key role in all aspects of life, from the logging industry all the way to the recreational, tourism and mental health benefits. The worlds forests are in jeopardy, with climate change and poor bio security there are many rising pests, disease and pathogens that are on the horizon. Let alone the poor forest practises and illegal logging which have a huge impact on the flora and fauna that lives within the forests. I want to be able to apply my growing knowledge to these topics and help try to prevent these looming dangers.
If you can help support and fund me through this crisis point of my life, I will be able to overcome my demons and make something of myself for the greater good. If there’s a lesson I’m learning it’s that I will not sacrifice myself for someone else’s goals, but I will for my own and the benefit of the whole world instead.
Thanks for taking the time to read this.