Operation Sydney To Real Irish Culinary Heaven

Hello there.

I'm Sydney. I'm from Tennessee.  I'll graduate high school in May, two days after the Star Trek sequel is released in theaters.  If all goes according to plan, I'll still have my 4.0 GPA, and JJ Abrams will rectify the weird Spock/Uhura relationship that went on in his first movie.

So those are my plans for the month of May: Star Trek first, then graduation.  But what about after that?

Well, since you so kindly asked, I'll tell you.

The fall after I graduate, I'm starting a 2-year culinary program at my local community college.  It's a good program, and I'll learn a lot while still having the time and resources to hold a job and actually make money while I'm learning.  But I don't want to stop there.  

Enter Ballymaloe.

What is Ballymaloe?  To put it simply, Ballymaloe [pronounced Bah-lee-ma-loo] is a utopia for anyone who likes food in any form, whether you're cooking it or you're eating it, which is everyone, myself included.

The Ballymaloe Cookery School, as it's officially called, though many just refer to this paradise as "Bally," is situated in its very own 100-acre completely organic farm.  Much of the ingredients used in the daily cooking process comes from not even a mile away.  Needless to say, this situation provides gastronomic enthusiasts like me with exposure to all aspects of the food-preparation spectrum from growing the ingredients to incorporating them into insanely delicious meals to actually eating the aforementioned insanely delicious meals.

For a glimpse at the typical day of a Certificate Course student, check out the official website of the Ballymaloe Cookery School.

The Certificate Course program is three months long, a great transition from my educational life into my career.  If students pass the written tests and the skills tests held at the end of the course, they're given a certificate.  Certificate holders from Ballymaloe are apparently well-sought-after in the culinary industry, which is good news for those of us at the commencement of our culinary careers.

Like I said, Ballymaloe is heaven.  I bet at Ballymaloe you could dump a vat of 450 degree oil on yourself and it would feel nice. 

Did I mention it's in Ireland?

Right near the village of Shanagarry, which is, on a grand scale, here:

 

Why Ireland?

Why not?

Tennessee's a great place to live, it really is, but living in the same place for 20 years is basically an invitation for the lust of a change of scenery.

But look at Ireland:

Here is a photo gallery of the farm itself.

[and I'd expect the real deal to be so much more impressive than the pictures...]

But I don't really want to be a tourist.  Sure, there's nothing wrong with tourism and sightseeing and souvenirs, but the best way to get to know a place is to insert yourself into the lifestyle there, to find a spot in the cracks of society and squeeze yourself in there and at least pretend you belong there.  I think Ballymaloe will serve my purposes well.

However, there is one caveat.

My plan is... not a cheap one.  The program itself is about 10,000 euros, and I'll have to factor in transportation and accomodations and visas and any other costs incurred by temporarily relocating to another country across an ocean.  I'm going to estimate my stay in utopia will cost me at least $15,000.

The bottom line: I need a bit of help.

Should you chose to assist in Operation Sydney To Real Irish Culinary Heaven (O.S.T.R.I.C.H.), I will send you an original postcard of my fantastic adventures in Ireland.  Maybe, if I can work the logistics out, I can send some baked goods your way if you're interested.

Thank you, and may all of your wildest dreams come true.