Ninjas kidnappped my Wife and Dog!
(Disclaimer: Based on true events... Except for like 83% of the story... And 10% of the story might be a little exaggerated, but other than that at leats 7% is a 100% true)
Hello! My name is Leon and this is...
The start of the epic of Leon.
Once there was a man named Leon. He was married to a lovely lady called... Uhm... Lets call her... Lady! Yeah! Her name was Lady. And they lived happily with their adorable dog named Kratos the god of Grrr!
This all Changed yesterday when the Evil Master Lucy whos the cousin of the Evil Master Betty whos the uncle of Ashley who is the once removed cousin of Gary, sent dubious (heh heh heh doobie) male and female ninjas (#Ladiescanbeninjasto #Its2020 #Wakeupsheeple #Feminism) to kidnap the lovely Lady and even worse Kratos the god of grrr!
(Yeah! Horrifying I know!)
And that brings me to the present, here with you (insert your name here), my most trusted, most loyal and dare I say it, most good looking friend. Only you (insert your name here) can help me save Kratos the god of Grrr... Feels like Im forgetting something... Oh! Oh! and Lady my wife!
Inorder for me to save 2 of the 3 most important people in my life, you being one of those three of course, I am going to have to count on your generosity, to fund this glorious nay! Epic Quest to save my family in these 6 simple steps.
1. Fly to Japan.
2. Get ten years of Karate training in a month to gain a black belt.
3. Fly to New York where the Evil Master Lucy whos the cousin of the Evil Master Betty whos the uncle of Ashley who is the once removed cousin of Gary, is keeping Kratos the god of Grrr and the beautiful Lady.
4. Buy rescue gear. Legally.
5. Rescue my family by beating all the hide outs booby trap (Lol! I said traps) and defeating the Evil Master Lucy whos the cousin of the Evil Master Betty whos the uncle of Ashley who is the once removed cousin of Gary.
6. Fly home and celebrate the victory with my best friend (insert your name here).
Travel: $4000 (+ - R75000) for plane tickets and $260 (+ - R5000) for visas.
Medical screening at entry points of each visited country: $4000 (+ - R75000).
Karate Lessons: $6000 (+ - R100000).
Accomedation and Expenses: $6200 (+ - R116000).
Vehicle rental: $770 (+ - R15000).
Recue gear: $2000 (+ - R38000).
Various bribes and emergency fund: $5000 (+ - R94000).
Relaxing bus ride to and from the Airport: $12 (+ - R250).
Victory Celebration: $2400 (+ - R45000).
Total: $30646. (+ - R563250)