Help An Incest Survivor To Keep Her Home and Medical Treatments

Hello everyone, I'm Ray from Japan. I'm a survivor of sexual assault by my biological father and twin sister and of psychological abuse by all my family members. Currently, I live alone away from my family, and have been trying to recover from complex-PTSD, major depressive disorder, bulimia nervosa, and other accompanying physical/ mental symptoms. I wish to upload my photo here to identify myself, but since my family has been looking for me, I am very afraid they might find where I live with my photo uploaded.

I suffer from daily flashbacks, dissociation, suicidal thoughts, hallucinations, body pains without any clear causes, auditory dysfunction, severe insomnia, loss of memory, panic attacks, hyper-vigilance, low concentration, and several more accompanying symptoms. I am prescribed lots of meds by my psychiatrist, but they don’t help much to cope with these symptoms. I am strongly recommended to attend therapy sessions, but health insurance in Japan doesn’t cover any therapy, and I can’t afford it. This makes me stay untreated and live on disability pension along with social welfare.

Before going into the details of my adversity. I am compelled to display a piece of New York Times' article that should give you a picture of how cruelly the welfare system in Japan treats people with personal hardships.

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“3 am. This human being hasn’t eaten in 10 days but is still alive,” he wrote. “I want to eat rice. I want to eat a rice ball.”

These were not the last words of a hiker lost in the wilderness, but those of a 52-year-old urban welfare recipient whose benefits had been cut off. And his case was not the first here.

One man has died in each of the last three years in this city in western Japan, apparently of starvation, after his welfare application was refused or his benefits cut off. Unable to buy food, all three men wasted away for months inside their homes, where their bodies were eventually found.

Death Reveals Harsh Side of a ‘Model’ in Japan-New York Time's article https://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/12/world/asia/12ja...

In case the above link doesn't work, here is the full text of the article
https://note.com/rohara306/n/n2c408e953eb9

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I’m going through my current adversity, ending up fundraising here due to the above-mentioned dysfunctional welfare system in Japan.

My welfare payment is usually deposited in my bank account every 3rd of the month. However, Sagamihara City Hall suddenly suspended their welfare payment on June 3rd, 2023. They claim that they stopped depositing it in my bank account, so I must see my caseworker (who is a City Hall official) and pick up the payment at the welfare office. My caseworker really wants to see me. She says she wants to ask me some questions, but I already answered her questions via email on June 5th. Yet, she persistently orders me to see her. She also says that I didn't get back to her multiple times when she tried to reach me, so they suspended the payment and it's my fault. I feel like I am being blamed for my mental disability: I don't socially function and can’t answer phone calls/emails when I am very sick. I didn't choose to be sexually assaulted or to be mentally ill. As far as I remember, my father pushed me down to the floor and sexually abused me as a 3-year-old girl. As a 3-year-old girl, I didn't have any options. Is it my fault that I don't socially function as my caseworker claims? Really?

I went on welfare in Sagamihara City in 2019. I have become sicker and sicker as I communicated with the welfare office staff, who has been abusive to me from the beginning. Some cases in point:

1.　I went to Sagamihara City South Welfare Office in May 2019 for the first time to ask for help. I told them I would not be able to pay for food, utilities, and rent for the next month. The welfare office said, "You can apply for Temporary Loan Emergency Funds for now." They added it covers only my food and utilities, and doesn't cover my rent. They repeatedly told me so even when I told them multiple times that I would not be able to pay my next-month rent and that I don't know what to do. Actually, what they kept telling me was a total lie: Temporary Loan Emergency Funds do cover rent.

2. People on welfare in Japan need City Hall-issued tickets to go see a doctor, and they banned me from transferring to another hospital when I was not getting better with my usual doctor.

3. They stopped issuing any medical tickets to me. This means I can't have any medical care unless I can afford all the medical expenses including exams, meds, and treatments; needless to say, I can't.

These are all serious human rights violations. Since the welfare office staff has been mistreating me, my caseworker and the other welfare office staff are now severe triggers for my C-PTSD.

Every time I interacted with my caseworker, she was overbearing, domineering, and coercive, which deteriorated my mental health and slid back my healing that I have slowly and painstakingly furthered on my own through reading trauma-related English books and attending online self-help group meetings. My caseworker oppressed and psychologically pressured me, exacerbating my anxiety and fear. She kept giving me unilateral and intimidating orders or bombarding me with irreverent and derogatory questions full of her prejudice, and even when I had answered, she asked me the same questions again later on.

Her controlling words and actions are very similar to my abusive family's, and very much remind me of family-related traumas. Now talking to/seeing my caseworker is a very severe trigger for me. I can't even open her emails and letters or answer her phone calls because of my mental breakdown. What Sagamihara City Hall keeps telling me is that I must go to see my abusive caseworker to receive the monthly allowance I'm entitled to. Since she is my severe trigger, I can't see her. Even if my caregiver joins a meeting with my caseworker, my symptoms develop and get worse. Forcing me to see an abusive person is very bullying and devastating. Is it my fault that I get sicker when interacting with someone very abusive? My caseworker says if she can’t see me soon, she will terminate my welfare. It is wrong for Sagamihara City Hall to conclude to terminate my welfare on the basis of my social dysfunction which stems from the combination of my disability and their abusive treatments.

I have escalated the situation to my caseworker's bosses many times, but nothing has ever changed. Moreover, I asked my social worker to go to see my caseworker to receive the monthly allowance on my behalf, but the social worker said she couldn't do it. Instead, she asked City Hall to get me a new caseworker, but they rejected her request. Furthermore, my psychiatrist talked about my C-PTSD symptoms with my caseworker, but the caseworker has never tried to provide necessary and appropriate modifications and adjustments not imposing a disproportionate or undue burden: she has never tried to change her high-handed and oppressive treatments or to assign someone medically professional to talk to me. It turned out that Sagamihara City Hall never made any attempts to remove any social barriers that I have faced, which violates the United Nations Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities as well as Japan's Act for Eliminating Discrimination against Persons with Disabilities.

I have been trying very hard to get a part-time job that can accommodate my disability, but all the employers I applied to turned me down because of my disability. I will keep trying my best to have a job. Simultaneously, I have been looking for a lawyer who specializes in mental disabilities/the Japanese welfare system and can change my current situation, but it is taking time to find such a knowledgeable lawyer. Meanwhile, I need to pay my rent, utilities, food, medical care, and transportation fees for me and my caregiver. To illustrate the need for medical care, here is a link to the document describing my medical history issued by Women's College Hospital in Toronto.

https://note.com/rohara306/n/n67936dfed8da

I have been hesitant to fundraise for my personal hardship, but I decided to start this crowdfunding campaign because 1) I am trapped by the dysfunctional welfare system and cannot find any other way to survive, 2) I believe I have the right to survive in a safe and stable living arrangement, 3) If I could survive, I could continue to speak up about the cruelty of sexual assault and contribute to creating the society with zero tolerance for sexual assault, 4) My story can create an opportunity to change the cruel way the government in Japan treats people with disabilities.

Your contribution will prevent me from being a homeless woman and allow me to have the necessary medical care. Additionally, I am someone who was abandoned by my family, my ex-partner, and Japan’s welfare system. I really hope that I will inspire other assaulted women to push through and survive, even if society seems to turn its back on them… I will be forever thankful for any support ーbe it through financial contribution, following my journey on here or on Twitter, or simply sharing this message with your network. In return, I pledge to continue to speak out against domestic sexual abuse and Japan’s government bullying of the vulnerable and to bring about social change . I will keep updating, and look forward to sharing my journey with you.