In grave need of a helping hand…

Dear all, My name is Eugene.

I really hope you could me a little of your time to understand my situation before you judge me for having resort to such fundraisers.

I came from a very low income family and did not do very well in my studies. The situation at home consist of financial problems and slight violence as my dad is the traditional who uses beatings to discipline us.

I ended up started working right after secondary school and did not further my studies after i dropped out of tertiary within 1 month.

Life has been ups and downs from that point which i thought it was all fine. Until one fine day, something in my company that time gave me a wake up call and i knew i had to do something about my life.

I went to take up private diploma classes and work part time to sustain my school fees and life. That happened when i was 25.

For 9 years, i worked hard and made a couple of career switch to upgrade myself and keep up with the inflation of my country. But unfortunately. I am not able to have enough to move on with my life.

Cause someone in my family is an addict to gambling. Every few months, i was surprised with a huge debt that i honestly have no choice but to help out with it get to keep the family together. All these are breaking me down till a point that i am starting to suspect that i am starting to need help myself due to certain feelings and thoughts in my mind. I started to feel like a failure in life that i at my age, i seems to be stuck at this stage of my life for the past 9 years due to all the family issues i had. My mood starts to change, i became socially awkward. i feel down all the time.

It was like that for almost 3 years and i was just trying to cope with it myself. Till a year ago, I finally went to government clinics to seek help at a subsidized rate. I did so cause i knew that i've reach the limit that i can control. Cause i was feeling devastated about the situation.

The living condition at home is getting worse, my mum was diagnosed with diabetes and the financial issues at home is still going on after all these years. I fought hard for years trying to get a good promotion and income in my company. Never i had i take any shortcuts in my work even when the opportunities arise. I worked hard, stick by the rules. But still, i wasn't able to make enough to solve issues and give my mum a better life.

I was given some pills to take that apparently would help me in my physiological condition. I took it and visited the specialist for a few times and decide to stop cause i would rather save the money in hope to achieve what i want for my mum and my family.

And then it reaches my current situation.

A seemingly good opportunity arise which could potentially solve all my problems and helped me achieve what i was fighting for the past 9 years came. BUT it eventually put me in a worse situation than before.

I was offered an overseas position and was promised a better income than i was working before. And life in that country should be cheaper than my own country. So therefore i seen it as an opportunity to be able to save more and spend less so i could actually use the money to solve all existing issues i had.

But unfortunately, that wasn't the case. I ended up realizing i trusted the wrong people. All i got for the past 6 months here was a sudden pay cut when the company wasn't doing well. Increased work load to a point that i don't actually have a single rest day that i won't get involved in any work stuff. So technically saying, i am actually working everyday.

And apart from that, there was a sudden 3 months pay cut in between where i have to take up loans just to pull through all the expenses back at home and my work country. I ended up having to take loans both from the company and from the bank. I was lucky that the bank approves my loan even with my lack of income prove.

And things right now are really getting from bad to worse. The feeling bad then came back again. I am starting to get insomnia, Anxiety attack and feeling almost depress every other second of my life. And there isn't a way for me to leave now and go back home.

Financially i am stuck with loans and company debts that i know even if i leave now i would have to repay the company loans before leaving. There isn't a way for me to argue my way out that they did not deliver what was promised. Basically they are being unreasonable biting on the fact that they are the paying party and i should just listen and follow what they say.

And going back to my home country i would still be stuck with a loan that i could not repay in the short time cause i would definitely need some money to live till and sustain my family till i find a new job to being life anew.

i really have no idea what else i could do to achieve what i fought for the past 9 years and thinking that my mum is already getting old. And her health is getting worse as the years goes by. Making me feel like a total failure in life and trusted the wrong person that brought me another downfall.

There is no one else that i could seek help from cause over the years to hardship. I lost many friends, i became stuck and feels better alone. Relatives all hostile since young due to my gambling addicted dad.

Therefore, i decided to give this a try. I really hope that in this world there would be people out there that could really give me a helping hand. Willing to help a trouble stranger like me get back to life. I don't ask for a luxury living, i only hope that i can lead a simple life and give my family and myself a better living condition and a simple life.