Yesterday, after an appointment with the infertility doctor at the clinic in Orange county, California, we could not sleep. The financial burden of the loan for fertility treatment will be unbearable for our family. We went back and forth to the crib of our son and decided that it would be too hard for us to say to him that he will not be a big brother. Our only option is a helping hand that would allow us to pay for fertility treatment. Getting this big amount of money is a huge responsibility, so we would pray eternally for each person, who offered us help. During the fundraising and at the end, we will provide pictures of our visits to the doctor's office, ultrasounds, bills, and hopefully embryos, if we would be able to achieve our goal.
My wife, who is heartbroken and financially devastated, decided to write a letter to our son, so he could read when he grows a little bigger. We truly hope that would show you our deepest love and care for our son and our desire to have a sibling for him.
When I was 18 years old, I thought I would have a big joyful family with many, many children and we all will have happily ever after for a long time. However, our mother nature decided otherwise.
Being at the young age, I have undergone several X-rays without protection of my female organs, which could damage DNA of the follicles in my ovaries. It would have gone unnoticed unless I wanted to be your mother so badly that I went through several miscarriages and my doctors told me that my embryos were inadequate because the DNA in my follicles is abnormal . It was heart-breaking. However, you father and I were stubborn about getting you into this world. You were already in our hearts so deep inside that we decided to proceed with IVF.
It was an expensive and difficult path for our family. On the way of our IVF process, I was diagnosed with microadenoma in the pituitary gland, which is called prolactinoma. In this case, prolactin hormone is released in high levels tricking the body that it is already pregnant or lactating and does not allow a woman to get pregnant. However, we found one respectable infertility doctor in Orange county, California, who encouraged us to continue with the process and promised us that to get everything done. He told us that our primary goal was to get a chromosomally normal (healthy) embryo and it will stick.
After painful IVF injections, we realized we had a lot of follicles. Later, however, they started disappearing and our doctor started to hurry up preparing me for the surgery and eggs retrieval because he, himself, was concerned that all of them would disappear. He removed 6 eggs, 4 of them fertilized with your father’s sperm and 3 of them were chromosomally abnormal. One of those embryos, which were chromosomally normal, was YOU. I was told that you might not stick inside because you were rated BC (the best embryos should be rated AA), which means you as an embryo was not an excellent quality. My love and care about you developed long before I had you as my little embryo so the quality of BC was not as important as the desire to hold you in my arms.
At the end of July, we received wonderful news that I was pregnant and you got stuck inside. My pregnancy journey started with a small bleeding, which made me go to a community hospital nearby. After a 5-hour wait in the emergency room, I finally found out that you had a heartbeat. I will always remember a hug of a physician assistant who congratulated me and said that she will never have her own children. She told me a sad story about herself and it made me realize that I will be getting the best treasure in the world.
My pregnancy journey was beautiful, you were calm and never caused any problems. Even when I was diagnosed with preeclampsia, you were quiet and almost never kicked. Preeclampsia is a condition, when a high blood pressure rises during the pregnancy, the protein increases in the urine, and liver and kidneys can be damaged. In the hospital, the nurse tried to wake you up several times because everyone was afraid that you would die inside me because of preeclampsia . And finally, you MOVED! That was the happiest moment for us, your parents.
When you were one year old, we went to the same infertility clinic and this time, our IVF journey was heart-breaking. We had only two follicles, which were not able to get fertilized and we did not get any embryos to develop. We were saddened because we knew that you would want to have a sibling to play with. We were financially devastated because we already spent all our savings for the two previous IVF cycles.
However, we are hopeful that there are many people in this world, who would want to help you to get a sibling either with a prayer or financially.
Having faith is very important to become a decent man in this world. It strengthens your ability to grow and see the goodness of this world. Just remember, if you do not have a sibling in the future, you will have all our love to the end of our life.
Love you always,
You mom and dad.
We deeply thank everyone for their reading our page, consideration and hope that we can achieve our goal.