Help me live a normal life while battling chronic illness

Dear all,

I am making a campaign to ask for your help, once again. It's been almost a year now since I last collected money and a lot of stuff happened, both good and bad. First of all, I got my diagnosis, which means that I (probably) won't need to spend money on medical expenses anymore, at least not the way I did before. I am feeling much better (most of the time), but there are still moments (read: weeks) where I can't really do anything, both from physical and psychological symptoms.
I take about 10+ pills a day, so my symptoms are managed by medicine most of the time. I think everyone understands that taking that many pills a day messes with your body, so I do experience consequences just from taking the medicine (hair loss, I'm tired, drowsy, have trouble concentrating, etc.) Apart from that, when I do have bad days, I experience physical symptoms such as: palpitations, trouble breathing, chest pain, vertigo, headache, no feeling in arms or feet, confusion and I easily get out of breath.

Ever since I started ending up in hospitals, I started experiencing mental problems. I was always a very sensitive and emotional person with underlying childhood trauma, but hospitals, medical negligence and medical gaslighting pushed me over the top. Again, when I'm fine I truly do feel okay and I try to spend my day as normally as possible, but when I'm not my symptoms are: PTSD/trauma attacks, panic attacks, paralysing fear of ending up in a hospital, depression, anxiety. I take medicine for those as well, however, even the medical professionals that I've seen in the past year told me that my trauma is extremely complex and that my body will need time to heal from it. I've been told that it's really serious and that they didn't deal with that type of medical trauma before (in the place where I went to seek help).

Now, my goal for life in general is to finish college and do work that I can do, probably translating. Right now I am completely unable to work, even translating is too exhausting for me, I can't meet deadlines and can't really make plans since my body is okay one day and then shuts down the other day. I am continuing to try and finish college and even though it's taking longer that I wanted it to, I am making small steps towards finishing my BA in Russian and English. Most of the time I do it all from my bed . I am also studying Korean and Japanese, since a big dream of mine is to move to South Korea. I don't know if that will ever happen, but I'm allowed to dream, right? Working towards my goal means a lot to me, but I won't lie and say it's easy, because I do get discouraged, especially on days when I can't even cook myself lunch or sit down and practice like a normal person.

Also, with COVID-19 still in the air I am unable to use public transportation. I still use it because it's cheaper, but me getting COVID wouldn't be a good thing. My doctors have warned me numerous times to watch myself, telling me that it could damage my heart and possibly be fatal. They have also told me that, even though my hospitalizations may be over, they still don't know for sure if they are and they are hoping for another inflammation to see if they can figure out what to do with me exactly. Getting a diagnosis is great, but treating it is something different. I don't think I have to explain how scary it is to have in the back of your mind the thought that one day you'll again have to go through all of the stuff that left so much physical and psychological marks on your body and mind.

Sometimes the fear gets the better of me and I am unable to function normally as a functioning member of society. I oftentimes see myself as just existing, floating around, a half human, clinging only to hope and nothing else.

I need help and that's just how it is. I am going to use my money for all of the things mentioned above: food (I am gluten free so it is costly), transportation, anything that makes my life easier, medicine, medical expenses if needed (5000 kn goes to AGRAM every year so that I can get faster check-ups), therapy (physical and psychotherapy) and I think that's it.

I again thank you in advance if you can help me or at least share it with other people. Croatian translation will be coming tomorrow.

Thank you, thank you, thank you,
Zrinka