Grandma’s Here

I have lived and raised my childern in the Philippines , I returned to the Unied States  off and on for 9 years flying to and fro helping My parents as they grew older and Frail. I came and stayed as I promised My Father I would and stayed with My Mama when My Father had passed in 2009. I do not wish to go into a teary blow by blow detail but Mama passed very unexpediily in Aug of 2010, With Mama's passing the family crumbled and I had gotten stuck in the USA . Yes I  had gotten stuck here in the states for thogh I traveled back and forth I only did Missionary tye wrk in the Philippines and had no money to return, I made the best of such situation, firm believer in Grow where you are planted I got a job and though I believe I was  just muddeling along I now realize I was funtioning but was in a sort of shock , however I managed. Some time had passed and  soon I discovered I was to be a Grandmother and her name was to be Kailea Charlotte, The Charlotte honoring my Mom. I was so happy and excited and I worked with Dreams Of A Baby girl dancing through my head... But Alas Our baby girl did not make it through the childbirth Our Precious angel I learned through a haunting phone call, had passed before she arrived.  My Son's pain was unbearabl to hear from so far far away , I  despretly worked to book a flight and all the while the hospital was on my son's  back telling him he had to remove our little darling Kailea's remains withinin 24 hrs. There was just no way for me to even make her funeral. It was a trying time not to mentio we as a Family were hit with yet another loved one's passing , seemed we were losing one a year. However 2013 passed all went well I had found a great job and again working helping an older lady, I was fulfilled  and happy still in the USA far from my grown kids my one granddaughter who will be 10 this year but I found  fulfillment in helping other's but more importantly I was gainfully employed ,  Just a few months ago I learned I am to be a grandmother once again , a baby boy this time My daughter in law is due  late Oct or early Nov , I  have been working many a long days, many 13 to 14 hours and not ashamed to say hard hours keeping busy is good ,helps to pass the time.  I was happy and wanted  to be there on time I had money put away  I had it all planned was sending money to my son helping them out,  for living in the PI is not easy an american cannot find permanant  work, my drawback,  Suddenly without warning, I lost my job in late May, all my hard earned saving gone, just gone, trying to pay bills and survive and try as I may ,no jobs on the horizon . But the worst of all  the news  or happenings in my life to date , was I just recently learned I do not have enough points to even get Social Security in my old age,  This comes from living overseas for most of my life, Doing Missonary work and raising your children does not account for much, I feel like such a failure, Never thought ahead , my big mistake, so I am reaching out to see if perhaps I can raise funds to make this trip , without help I will not be able to be there once again. It is in hope I do this Fundraiser. What happenes when I return will be something I cannot stress about right now. I am writing to individuals as you saw me sending a message, I will not place this on my Facebook for I do not want my family especially my children to know, I want to get there all on my own. If you can help It will be apprciated. If you do not It will be understandable. Too many, way too many of us our out here just struggleing along. I know, It is not easy for most these days. I thank you for just taking the time to read this. Bless you all  who have. 

Thank You