Going Homeless. My Family Won’t Help Me! Can You?
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My Christian family will not help me. :(
I've done nothing to them for them to behave this way. They claim to be Christian, however, when the rubber meets the road regarding what Christians are instructed by Jesus to do, I can't get help from them!
I'm at the point of imminent risk of homelessness, and they don't seem to care. They claim they "truly love" me, and will pray for me, but when it comes to getting real help, now, I see no compassion for my scary plight. It's as if they just don't care, and don't take Christianity seriously. I'm losing faith.
Are there any REAL Christians out there who can help me, and show me what it means to be a real Christian? Please?
(I only need $165 a week for 3 weeks while I get more temporary jobs from TPM Staffing Temp Services. I'm only hourly-employed 2 days a week. Meanwhile, I'm trying to recover from my online businesses which started crashing in 2008. Most people don't know how many middle-class American lives clashed. Watch the video about this. I am at imminent risk of homelessness. Your generosity would be much, much appreciated. I'm doing what I CAN do.
Below is a real live thread to certain family members.
Look at their responses and non-responses, and you tell me if this is appropriate Christian behavior emulating a loving, compassionate, and giving Jesus. I'm devastated by this. I really need help. I'm really not asking that much. I just need a chance before I slip underwater and become homeless like many others ...
- Conversation started May 1
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Wayne FroemkeWayne's "State of his union"
Well, I'm officially homeless now (according to federal standards). I'm living in a cheap motel until my money runs out, which is sustainable for about 2 more weeks.
I've been hired by TPM Staffing service but they cannot find any work for me that I can do. They found a cooks job for me for $12 an hour but I can't get there without a car, as it's about 20 miles down the highway from me, and the highway is the only access. It's impossible for this 55 year-old body to bike 40 miles every day to and from work, besides it's extremely dangerous riding a bike on the highway.
Living in Castle Rock, a small town, does not have many jobs. If anybody can find me some work, TPM temp service is my best chance. They already know I'm an "extortionist", who's committed extortion and 2 computer crimes (according to the ignorant jury who convicted me). Being 55 with 3 front teeth, and a felon makes it hard to find work, besides the low availability of jobs here in the first place.
Yes, my life is so great being trapped by this unjustice. Though, my appeal attorney says it's likely my case will be vacated. Though the DA has up to 18 months before he HAS to answer my attoney's submitted briefing. I asked if I get a refund on my $2,500 of fines paid to the state if I win, and he said "no". What a racket! So even if you're innocent, which I am, you still pay big brother.
Adam Neilson has been sentenced to 6 months in jail, and he owe's me about $12,000 in roofing commissions that I haven't been paid. I don't believe I'll ever see that money. This cursed state has screwed me over and over.
I'm doing my best trying to drive in business from the Internet to my Life Force websites and my Solavei sites. But it's not looking promising.
I feel depressed, lost, lonely, and have no idea what I'm going to do. Life is not looking hopeful to me.
But, whatever doesn't kill me, makes me stronger, right? Of course, I don't believe that crap. Sometimes, people just need a little help. We're social creatures not meant to survive alone.
In case something happens to me, my last known address (currently Castle Pines Motel 807 Wilcox #7, Castle Rock, CO 80104).
You can always call Connie, my best friend in my life who knows me better than anybody (and who is unfortunately unable to help me because she's in a domestic violence trap she can't escape).
Connie's number is ...
***-***-****(If she doesn't answer, it's because her abuser is at home and he doesn't allow her to have friends, or anybody call or visit her.) But you can leave a voice mail, and I'm sure she'll get back with you, and answer the most detailed question you could ever ask about what's happened or is happening to me.
So that's the current state of affairs for Wayne.
I hope everybody else in my family is doing better than I.
Love,
Wayne - May 2
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Connie Dazewell,I hate to say it but this is when your going to find out who your ''true'' friends & family are. there may even be people who will ignore your cry for help. but I will help you! & always will. it's not much because I have no income right now but when I get my student loan I can at least help keep a roof over your head. you'll soon see that poor people are the ones who help others in need the most. I guess because they understand more because they know what it's like to be hungry & alone & scared. ''true'' christians will definately help you too. unfortianately, ''true'' cristians are sadly hard to find. but there are a few still out there. it breaks my heart that no one has helped you yet. how does someone not help someone in need? I can't even comprehend it!!! I don't have a pot to piss in yet I go out & help a stranger every day! I love to help people...it brings me joy. and it is what God has comanded us to do! ughhhh!!!! I absolutly HATE greed! oh well,God warned us about these kind of people in the Bible. hang in there Wayne, I WILL help get you outof that hell you've been living in. 9 more months & you can leave Denver for good & be with people who have always been there for you in the good times & bad. you've helped sooooo many people since I've known you & believe me, the blessings you WILL recieve will be amazing & good karma is on it's way!! I promise! I believe in you & I care. love you my dear friend! (((HUGS)))
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Connie Daze
oh yeah,& not onlt is it dangerous to ride a bike on the freeway...but it's illeagal!! lol that's way to far anyway to ride a bike every day anyways. plus it's still snowing there. (hard times will reveal true family & friends!) love that quote...it's so true.
- May 2
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Vivien Froemke HewsWayne, I'm sorry to hear that you have not been able to "get on your feet". I know I speak for all of your family when I say that we truly love you and we will be praying for you as you continue this difficult journey. Although we were able to offer a tangible gift a couple years ago (you may remember when we all pitched in ) we are not able to do that at this time.
thank you for the update. I'm greatful that we can stay in touch. Love Vivien - May 2
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Connie Daze
praying is not enough!! you have to pray ''AND'' do the footwork to help someone! there's adifference between unable to help someone and not wanting to help someone. it's so simple to help someone! sure,maybe you have to give up pizza night,or starbucks,or fastfood,or girls night out, or your sunday drive in the country or the movies,or some other entertainment or....you get my message. sometimes we have to sacrafice things (that we really don't need) to help someone els. AND WHY WOULDN"T WE!!!! greed,that's why. sometimes people need help more than once or twice or more. God comanded us to help those in need. he didn't say ''Oh, but only help them one time & one time only or els!!'' LOL!! I have no income,yet I help someone every day so when someone who has a successful business,a home,a car (maybe even a home or car completely paid off) plenty of food, health insurance & so on,says they can't help....well,they're a liar and I will pray for them beccause they need prayers the most. I'm so grateful that Iam not like that. hang tight wayne, I'm not only praying for you,but I am doing the footwork too!(action) xxoo
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Connie Daze
1st John 3:17 but if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need,yet closes his heart against him,howdoes Gods love abide in him?
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Wayne Froemke
(I have no idea how my message apparently went to a new thread. Sorry about that. I will repost it here in this ongoing thread)
Good point, Connie. Thank you very much for your support. You rock! Some of the most awesome things I've seen you do (as a single struggling mom) for your son, Randy, was to buy him a car after his very dire and unfair situation. Another huge act of grace by you was helping him in his defense, where his attorney had failed. You were there at every court appearance, and of course, trial. Nobody tried to plan to come to any of my appearances, let alone my very lonely trial, without any show of support. I felt so alone and abandoned. I know you wanted to be there, though. But you just couldn't because of the situation you're in.
You hung in there, and put $20 a week on Randy's sundries account while he awaited for trial as the real victim. You also helped him pay off his fines when he was unable to find work. You clearly walk the talk of action, even though you're not a Christian, you sure act like what I imagine what one should be. Those acts of kindness and grace are something Randy will never forget, and he will always be grateful. You have shown me a model of the way it's supposed to be with a loving family.
You showed your love through action. Just the words "I love you" are empty words meaning nothing without them being backed by sincere action. It's action that demonstrates. You helped your son's morale, and that gave him hope and a boost in life, and look at him now, doing well. Randy is fortunate to have you as a mom. I know you didn't get so lucky. I lost my blood mom at age 5. I know you lost both your blood parents at an early age, too. I do believe there is a genetic connection of love that's irreplaceable, and makes compassion harder any other way.
Here's my other post again that got "lost" in another new thread ...
I'm certainly not explicitly asking for help, yet. I'm doing my damnest to make it on my own. I have an appointment to meet Frank Volpe (303) 819-8990 at The Nolls at Plum Creek, 930 Plum Creek Parkway, Castle Rock, Co 80108 at 3PM on Monday to mow lawns every Thursday for $11 an hour. This is what TPM staffing has lined up for me so far. I need work that pays me weekly, which TPM does.
I'm not asking for any gifts, either, even though Christianity teaches giving without any expectation of return. I'm more than willing to pay back my way, even at interest, if profit is wanted. I just need the opportunity, and have tried to create it without success. I thought I'd do better with Solavei. But none of my family or friends in my network seem interested. So I'm trying to attract strangers from the search engines to this now, along with still plugging along with Life Force.
I truly hope I'm sincerely being prayed for, and do appreciate them. If these prayers are being done, then I pray God will speak through somebody's heart to do the compassionate thing. I will be eternally grateful for that compassion.
I hope it's truly a matter of being honestly UNABLE to help me, versus an UNWILLINGNESS to help their family for some reason. My goal is to bounce back financially so strong, that whenever a family member of mine seeks help from me (Nate, I'll never forget), I CAN help without hesitation. My willingness to help others has always been there. Being poor apparently creates sin, or IS a sin if one can't even help their own.
If or when it comes down to the wire where I actually will be homeless, and need help, I pray there is somebody for me. Right now, I have nobody as far as I can see. Connie, I know you would if you COULD, and you WILL when you can, if I need help. Thank you. We will be together, hopefully, in about 9 months as soon as I get out of this Colorado hell-hole, and you get out of yours.
1 Timothy 5:8 KJV
"But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel."
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Connie Daze
hey, do you mind if I put this in the book I'm writting? I mean my book is about abuse and this is a form of abuse that you're going through by certain people who are turning the other cheek to your pain & cries for help. If so, I'll call my ghost witter tomarrow. this could be a whole chapter on it's own & you'll get paid for your story? what do you think?
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Vivien Froemke Hews
Connie, so now I'm being classified as an abuser? Well, I guess I have heard everything now. I gave Wayne free housing for two years, an offered him a solid job which he turned down to move to Denver for a dream job. Didn't work out as he expected and now I'm an abuser. I think you may need to do a bit more research
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Connie Daze
I wasn't talking about you. wow...
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Wayne Froemke
Clearly, my half-sister Vivien has demonstrated much, much giving from the heart in my family. Her and I have both given to each other without expectation of return. I did some trailer deals for her to help her profit, was a "sitter" on-demand anytime she wanted, and built the first 97 North Storage website and continued search engine work ,for free, which generated over 70 leads for their storage business that her ex totally neglected following up on.
All in all, one could call it an even wash what we both did for each other. However, I didn't look at it as a tit-for-tat situation. It was both of us giving to each other from the heart without any expectation of return, which is how it should be with family, IMO.
To clarify, the job offered was for park management duties in exchange for rent. No cash. So I didn't see that taking me anywhere. You know Nada, Connie. Nada promised me a new start in life with an alleged "great" opportunity. We all know now this was deception and turned into a total disaster for my life. I took hers and David Nelsen's innocent advice to shut off my website, and Nada and Craig of Salon Profe' twisted that incident into an extortion charge. I don't hold either of them responsible for this, as nobody expected anything like this to happen, and never saw it coming. I have suffered though, dearly, for something that should have never have happened. What happened to me here in Colorado was pure evil.
Vivien also found Good-to-Go Bail Bonds, and worked out for me a deal with them to trade building a website for them in exchange for my Bail Bond to get out of jail. Vivien was the only one at my side at the time, then. She also helped me find Adam place for rent at $50 a week. I love Vivien, dearly. I will never forget how you helped me, Vivien. NEVER.
I am amazed, however, that between the time I posted my original "State of Wayne's Union" post at 5:24PM yesterday, and 7:00AM today, within 10 hours, it was determined so quickly that nobody in my entire family was "able" to help me. It was as if there was no time or thought in even trying to figure something out, which makes me sad.
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Wayne Froemke
What also makes me sad is that around the time I was convicted, my father stopped communicating to his new "felonous" son. This has been since the end of February, 2012.
We were talking on the phone then, and I had brought up that I really had needed a real paid-for trial attorney, not some over-worked case-loaded public defender who only had 42 cases under her belt, and only 2 of them were cases that went to trial, the rest were plea settlements, which they do best. I was and am innocent, so I wanted a trial. Had I taken the 4th plea bargain I got offered from the assistant DA, I would have gotten off with a misdemeanor and 18 months probation.
But if you're innocent, what do you say, you're guilty? I refused. So I took the high road, and got screwed. Early on, before my first court appearance, I had pleaded for help to get an experienced trial attorney (Lenore knows this), but I was reassured I didn't need one, and that it would get all straightened out in court, and I would be found innocent. Of course, we know now that never happened.
I was also "advised" the BS that a public defender is "just as good" as a hired private trial attorney. I believe this was said as an excuse to get off the hook of trying to help me get the best representation I could get and needed, as that would cost money, which I didn't have. It seemed like an utter failure to care for my life, which also makes me sad.
The other part was nobody in my family was ever in the courtroom to show support. I was so alone and scared. My attorney, the DA, and the Jury noticed this, and that didn't help, I'm sure. As far as they were concerned, I was just another scum hacker, the type who put viruses on their computers, and deserved to be found guilty of two counts of "computer crimes" and one of extortion. Of course, all this was BS, too. (The DA tried to nail me for "theft" but the jury found me Not Guilty on that.)
I'm struggling right now to pay my fines, which I don't deserve to have to pay. It's a constant pressure on me. If I don't pay, I will violate my probation. I couldn't pay the $50 this last week to my probation officer's "service". I've managed to stall the potential trouble I may get in if I don't pay. I've had to pay $95 each month since Feb 2012. $45 to the court, $50 to my probation officer. Trying to find an hourly job here in Castle Rock has been virtually an impossible task. I will finally be free in February 2014, as long as I can keep my head above water. But I feel I'm drowning, and am feeling very alone, still. And sad.
- May 3
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Vivien Froemke Hews
Okay Wayne, if that's how you feel about your family, its not surprising to me that the relationships are strained. Those are some pretty hard expectations to meet. We had to use a free public defender for Nathan. I guess we just don't behave the way you think we should. Equating lack of concern with the fact that we didn't hire an attorney for you is just faulty thinking. You are free to form your own opinions but when you put this garbage about our family out, I am compelled to refute the twisted image that you have created. Truth is that we have helped you numerous times. We have all been through difficult times. The rest of us do not blame other family members for not rescuing them.
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Vivien Froemke Hews
Also, I remember telling you that I felt it was imperative that you testify in your own defense at your trial because you are your own best witness. You have a thorough understanding that could have swayed the jury. You made a choice to disregard that advise, which turned out to be a mistake. I'm sorry but it appears to me that you are living in the consequences' of your choices. You chose to leave a job in Klamath working with family. You chose to disregard advise your family has given you, and now you want to blame your family for not helping you. I believe in offering a hand up, which requires an active participation, such as the website work I sent your way. I am fully persuaded that we have done alot to help you. The rest... Is up to you.
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Wayne Froemke
I'm expressing my feelings of anguish, frustration, loneliness, fear, sadness, and perhaps depression. I wonder how many of my family members have been this close as I am to homelessness?
This is not just a "difficult journey", it's on the brink of disaster which could totally ruin my life for the rest of my life, and I could end up being a bum on the street. Now I realize how this can happen with bums. I can't imagine my family would want that for me, unless they think I deserve what is happening to me for some reason.
I have enough money left for 3 weeks rent at $85 a week in this motel (that's splitting it with my roommate), and that's as long as I don't buy food. I just went to the food bank, which is a task in itself getting the food back to my motel.
However, if Darryl (my roommate) moves to New York to move in with his dad rent-free, like he's talking about, that gives me only 2 weeks left, because I'll have to pay $160 a week for one person renting in this dive motel. Darryl's father is sending him $500, without hesitation, to help him out so he can move.
It's hard for me to imagine that my family doesn't apparently have compassion for this perilous situation of mine, and doesn't apparently WANT to help me now, and that makes me sad. I have a difficult time buying the "unable to help" answer, determined in under 10 hours. I think this is tragic, and a sign of a dysfunctional family.
What is the source of this dysfunction? I'm not sure, but I have an idea of its origination. This has been a huge study of mine. Nobody else that I know seems to want to acknowledge the elephant in the living room. I'm not an idiot.
What kind of blood-relative father will allow his only son to risk going homeless without any apparent care, not even any communication? THAT is dysfunction, IMO.
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Wayne Froemke
As far as advise goes, what kind of credence was I suppose to give it?
I was advised to shut down my web server. I trusted that advise by two people. Look where it got me, a felony, which totally complicated my life to the point of making it very, very difficult to live.
I was advised that a public defender was "just as good" as private trial attorney. I trusted that advise, and so I also followed the advise of my public defender.
What was the advise I followed from my public defender? To NOT testify. So I did just that. I followed the "expert" advice.
I followed the advise of an alleged expert who "knew better than I". When I questioned her about her advise, I got, "Just trust me, Wayne. Do you go to a doctor and question them?"
So is it any wonder why I'm skeptical in following anybody elses advice any more? My life has turned into disaster from following others' advice.
As far as the "job" in Klamath Falls being referred to, it was a "work for rent" offer. That's not a job for cash that would realistically get me anywhere. Though I'm grateful for that offered opportunity, I couldn't see it getting me out of the negative financial situation I was in. So I took a chance, and mistakenly believed Nada in regard to the "opportunity" she offered me, and moved to Colorado, only to find more disaster. That's the rest of the story.
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Wayne Froemke
*advice (where I had mistakenly put advise)
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Wayne Froemke
Picture being in my shoes for a moment. What would you do if this were you? (By "you", I'm addressing any who are reading this)
* You're 55
* Don't have a car
* Are homeless, with enough money to stay in a cheap motel for 2 weeks
* Can't find hourly work
* Have a felony conviction, and worse, it's an extortion and computer crimes conviction (a travesty of justice) where nobody will let you near a cash register or a computer
* Lonely, by yourself in a small town, with high unemployment
* Have a family who is "unable" to help you
* Nobody to turn to, feeling of abandonment
* Under the stress of being sent to prison, and not being able to pay court-ordered fines. (Not doing so, is a violation of probation, of which, remember, probation is in lieu of prison.)
* Totally stressed out and scared
Would you plea for help from your family? Would you want somebody to be there for you?
So exactly what would you do in my situation?
(If you've been in the above described situation, which I don't believe is the case, what DID you do? How did you get out of it?)
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Vivien Froemke Hews
Well, I'm not judging you Wayne. I certainly didn't want to insult you by ignoring your post. So I responded with my thoughts. I was not trying to be offensive, although I occasionally have that effect lol
- May 3
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Wayne Froemke
lol
- May 4
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Lenore NailI would...get on my knees, ask God to forgive and intervene
I would...plead with the powers that be that no job is forseen
I would...seek the Kingdom of God and His righteousness
I would...ask Him to guide me in home and food no more, no less
I would...find a church that teaches Jesus redemption plan
I would...ask God to show himself, to help you really stand
I would...live the Proverbs, pray the Psalms, read the gospel of Christ
I would... say to Him whatever your will, I would pay the price.God knows all about us and hears the righteous man's prayer
He listens to the contrite and humble and to those He has such care
He knows the depth of our heart and his mercy is there to save
If we would but acknowledge that our minds are so depraved
God owns the cattle on a thousand hills, so by Him we can rest
He knows the plans He has for you and would give the very best
His will for us may not be what we want or think
Hardships plant our roots much deeper, He will not let us sinkThese are the things that in the end really matter
For if we neglect them our lives will be sadder
Despite the fact we don't believe we'll see him face to face
One day we will all answer to El Roi and He could plead our case
God's Word is the answer for all of our flaws
I chose Him for now and in the end to fight my causeSend me your address Wayne and I can give you $20.
I love you and am praying for you.Looking up!
Lenore - May 4
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Wayne Froemke
Bless your heart Lenore. Thank you! I washed my clothes in the tiny bathroom sink today because I cant afford to do laundry. Used my motel soap because i cant afford laundry detergent. So every bit helps! I will consider all moneys a LOAN. I just cant promise when I can pay it back. My address is 807 Wilcox Room #7, Castle Rock, CO 80104. Or, it may be easier to paypal it to [email protected] and it will save postage and time. Again, thank you so much Lenore. It means a lot to me.
- May 4
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Wayne Froemke
This is how I'm living right now, in this dive motel. Darryl, my roommate from when we were living at Adam's place, is living with me. We are in VERY crunched quarters so it's messy just because we have no room to put stuff. I'm using couch pads as my mattress. The bathroom and shower are nasty and small. It just snowed here 4 inches 2 days ago and has been cold. The rock you see is "Castle Rock". This is my lifestyle now, but at least it's better than living under the I-25 freeway bridge. At least I have this "comfort" for the next 2 weeks.
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Wayne Froemke
It's $170 a week for both Darryl and I to stay at this dive motel. So it's $85 for each of us. I have just enough on my card to last 2 weeks from next Thursday, including 2 $2.50 withdraw fees. I will have $1.15 left. So you see, I really cannot afford laundry detergent or to buy food. I will get $165 loaded on my food stamp card on the 8th (the last digit of my SS# is when they load it.) I will be getting $75 (minus the 3% check-cashing fee from Vivien for Web Security, Hosting, and Maintenance for her site) which should be in the mail. I'm scheduled for an extra probation visit (because I couldn't pay the $50 to her) for this Tuesday on 5/7, which I'll have to tell Kalyn again that I don't have the money to pay her the $50 probation fee for April, which I'm late on. I'm hoping I don't get in trouble.
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Wayne Froemke
3 pictures of a drunk passed out right out-side my motel door. He has finished more than 1/2 of his cherry vodka. The other picture is highway signage of the dive motel I'm at. The sleeping bag is my bottom bedding to put on my couch pads. It's drying out there after I washed it in my tiny shower, while I was in the shower naked washing it with my motel shampoo. Since this is just a 1 bed motel, I had to create my own using my own bedding. There is no maid service, towels, or bedding service here. Fun! Þ
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Wayne Froemke
So that wraps up my family pictures for now.
- May 5
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Wayne Froemke
These road pictures you see here are a 1 1/2 mile stretch of Plum Creek Parkway, from the small civilization of Castle Rock. It may not be readily apparent, but this is a steep incline partially leading up to my old address 5854 Raleigh Circle. (There are other hills on the route, but not as bad as this one.) It is a torturous ride up on a bike, especially for a 54 year-old body (then). I did it twice, and it took me an hour with a racing heart, and ripping pain in my knees. So even if I could get an hourly job, then, somewhere in the town of Castle Rock, when I lived at this address, doing this every day would not be possible for me. I needed a car, and still do. A car would have solved (and still will) solve my problem of getting full-time work. Like I mentioned earlier, I could have had a cooks job at $12 an hour that TPM offered me. The problem? I have no transportation to get there! It was 20 miles out from me towards Denver, opportunity just 20-minutes away from me in a VEHICLE. So I'm having a difficult time taking advantage of job opportunities presented (who accept "extortionist felons") to me, due to transportation problems.
So what would you do?
P.S. This is NOT an issue of me being lazy or a leech. If you don't know this about me yet, then you don't know me as well as Connie or Darryl. You really don't know who Wayne is.
It's a matter of being able to create and take advantage of opportunities when they present themselves, and if you're not prepared for them, you can't do them. Opportunity only comes to those who are prepared for it.
Again, what would you do?
- May 6
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Wayne Froemke
Well, TPM was ready to put me to work, tomorrow, doing a water testing job which was supposed to be done in Castle Rock. Unfortunately, I got this message from them later ... "Hi Wayne. My apologies for taking so long to get back to you, but unfortunately the job I called you about earlier moved its location to Aurora. I will keep you in mind still though for something closer."
If I want to do this job, it will take me 2 hours and 55 minutes to get there, and 2 hours and 55 minutes to get back on my bicycle. That's about 6 hours a day riding my bike. Of course, if I had a car, I could have taken this job. Obviously, riding a bike would be ridiculous besides illegal riding on the highway. Realize, Castle Rock is far away from civilization where most the jobs are.
Again, what would you do if you were me? Have you ever been in my situation in life? If so, what did you do? I'm not asking for money in this message. I'm just asking what you would do?
- May 7
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Wayne Froemke
Well, today, on my probation visit, I submitted a bunch of paperwork asking for financial aid to pay for my $50 a month probation fee. It works on a sliding scale, depending on your poverty level. Hopefully, they'll approve and I'll pay a discounted rate.
Also, TPM Staffing got a temporary assignment (for tonight, one night), in Denver, doing stocking at Coors Field for $10.75 an hour, from 10PM to 7AM. Coors Field is the stadium where the Colorado Rockies are playing the New Yankees, today, tomorrow, and the day after. I may have two more nights work if they want me, after they see how I work tonight.
I hope this body can hold up to doing this laborious work, without getting a heart attack. Supposedly, I have a carpool ride with a man named Juan, and another, and they will be picking me up at 9:00PM, in an hour and a half. I pray they show up.
I have to admit it's quite nerve-wracking risking two complete strangers picking me up (not because their Mexican), and taking me 32 miles away to a destination I've never been. Provided all this works out, taking this leap of trust will save my ass from being homeless the Friday after this upcoming one, presuming Darryl doesn't move to New York.
Wish me luck.
- May 8
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Connie Daze
you're gonna do great!! proud of you Wayne! you've been working so hard for so long! good karma is here now & it's only gonna get better & better from here! yay!!!
- May 8
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Wayne Froemke
Last night, I was harassed and assaulted at work. It was the worst work day of my life. I reported it to TPM with the following. It tells you what happened.
Dear Lisa (and the Director of Staffing or Manager/Owner),
Last night was my worst day of work in my entire life.
First, I was assigned to "throwing" 165 pound kegs of beer, which my 55 year-old body could only take doing 3 1/2 hours of this until my body collapsed, and my back was (and still is) in excruciating pain. So I went to the manager (Mike) of the warehouse and asked if he had a lighter task, as I just couldn't do any more of this type of work.
Mike assigned me to lifting "only" 35 pound boxes of beef franks. That wasn't much help after my back was already in serious pain from the 165 lb kegs. I was pretty much disabled from bending over and lifting for the rest of the night.
The new person who I was assigned to work with doing this was somebody who already harassed me for putting my arm on my hip, as to suggest I was being lazy. What I was doing was trying to massage my lower back from the pain of the lifting of full beer kegs, and I told him so. He didn't care. This was before I started working with him.
When I was working with him, knowing from before I was in pain, he yelled, "Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!" in an authoritative voice (even though I found out later he was not in any management position.)
"Nobody has the right to talk to me like that, as if I'm some slave." He raised his voice at me with, "You have a problem working with ME?" I said, "Yes, when you talk to me like that, I do."
He said, "Well, if you can't work with me, then you need to leave, and go talk to Mike (the warehouse manager) if you have a problem with me. So I said, "Fine, I will." So I went to talk to Mike saying I couldn't work with somebody like that.
Mike assigned me to work with another guy (which I found out later was a buddy to the guy who yelled at me). We worked in the freezer lifting the beef franks.
Then the guy who yelled at me came by and said, "You and I need to go talk to Mike." I told him, "I'm done with talking with you anymore. The problem is resolved. I'm working with somebody else now. You and I have nothing more to talk about."
The "yelling guy" said angrily, "Oh yeah? Our conversation is over when *I* say it's over!"
Then he proceeded to come at me while I'm in the freezer, and shoved me (while I was holding a 35lb box of beef franks), and said, "I'll knock you the fuck out!" He blocked me from movement out of the freezer door, and I could not get out of the freezer without running into him. (Shoving is assault, and he shoved me. I felt seriously threatened with worse assault.)
I told him, "Get the fuck out of my way." He resisted and wouldn't move. I literally had to just continue walking through him with my beef franks, and he gave way. I immediately went to the manager and told him what happened, and that I was considering calling the police for assault, and verbal threat of assault, and harassment, and to report unlawful harassment to the Department of Labor. (I still am.)
The manager said I could leave if I wanted to. But I had no choice to leave, as I carpooled in and couldn't leave. The manager assigned me to work with another guy named Roy. The entire night, the friend associates of the yelling guy who assaulted and harassed me stared me down as if to say they were going to kick my ass after work.
Clearly, I cannot work in this kind of gang-like work environment. For your info, I was the minority. There was no other white person I worked with, besides the manager of the warehouse. I felt extremely uncomfortable, and unsafe. For the rest of the night, I felt threatened.
It truly was the most miserable work experience in my entire life. As desperate as I need the work, I cannot do this assignment again with the knowing I will be harassed, and perhaps threatened and assaulted again.
Clearly, what I went through was unlawful harassment, and falls under EEO Harassment (not to speak of criminal actions on me).
* "Unlawful harassment includeds verbal or physical conduct that has the purpose of effect of substantially interfering with an individual's work performance or creating an intimidating, hostile, or offensive work environment."
* "Verbal conduct such as phithets, derogatory comments, slurs, or jokes."
* Physical conduct such as assault, or blocking an individual's movements."
I'm officially reporting this (in this very email) as per the Complaint Procedure in the TPM Staffing Services.
Sincerely,
Wayne Froemke -
Wayne Froemke
The ONLY reason I have not called the police about this is because this could become another issue, turned upside-down, just like my wrongful extortionist conviction. In addition, on my probation visit form, it asks, "Have you had any contact with the police?" Saying "yes", can possibly worsen my situation. So because of my unjust felony conviction, I cannot feel safe trying to seek justice with anything else.
- May 8
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Wayne Froemke
555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555
Oops. My 5 key got stuck and I accidentally pressed enter to send.
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Connie Daze
what abunch of crap! don't ever go back to that job again! they'll call you wiyh something els this week. sorry you went through that. but the good news is that you made a tiny bit of money! proud of you!
- May 9
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Wayne Froemke
Thank you, Connie. I appreciate your support and encouragement through these very hard times.
TPM Human Resources called me and profusely apologized. They are contacting Aramark (the company who I temped for) about this.
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Wayne Froemke
First, the Good News:
I got a stable, 4-month job as a driver for Safe Lite glass company from 9am to 4pm, full-time.
The Bad News:
I don't have a driver's license. I can't get one because I can't afford it, and I have no vehicle to take the physical drivers test. So I can't take the job. I'm so disappointed and depressed.
Remember when I mentioned that opportunity comes to those who are prepared for it? This is a specific case in point how this is so true. My problem is I am UNABLE to prepare for it. It is NOT a case of my unwillingness or laziness. I can't get any help so I CAN prepare! I need a little "power-boost" in my life so I can move forward and make real progress, instead of my life spiraling downhill towards homelessness.
I truly see how the homeless can get that way. Most homeless people probably only needed a temporary helping hand to get back on their feet, provided they haven't become so depressed they've given up.
I swear, Connie (as we talked about doing, before), when/if I get back on my feet and become successful again, I will dedicate part of my life to the homeless cause. I know you're all for doing this with me, as we've discussed.
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Connie Daze
yep! I always help the homeless. and I always will! you'll get another job. hang in there! how come your family wont help you right now? Did they tell you why? what about your Dad? as a parent myself,there's no way in the world I would allow my son to be homeless!! he probly has no clue what your going through cuz he wouldn't just abandon you would he? what about the church your family goes too? let them know what's going on. I bet they'll help you. I'll contact them if you want me to. I'm sure they're really kind people who help. give me the imfo. k...
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Connie Daze
I'll call you in the morning as usual!
- Sunday
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Wayne Froemke
Happy Mother's Day to Connie, Vivien, and Lenore!
Especially to Connie and Vivien, two of the most awesome mother's which I've experienced first-hand, by living with them, how wonderful mother's they truly are. You deserve acknowledgment, especially being single-mothers.
I saw Connie fight hard for both her sons, Randy and Alex. Also, I saw Vivien fight for Nate. The love you show for your kids is second to none.
(Lenore, I'm sure it's the same for you, I just haven't witnessed it like I have with Connie and Vivien.)
A special acknowledgment goes out to my mom, Joan (RIP), wherever she may be now, whom I got to experience her as a mom for the first 5 years of my life. The love I felt that came from her heart is impossible to duplicate from any other person. I'm positive, were she here today, she'd be at my side, even with me being an adult. She'd help me out if she could, without hesitation. That's what mom's do. When a man is dying in a horrible war, they typically call out for their mom.
Loving moms are truly, truly special, and I'm glad there is a special day for them that acknowledges how special they really are.
- Sunday
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Connie Daze
thank you! my kids are pretty amazing!
- Tuesday
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Wayne Froemke
As you know, Connie, I've been working my butt off building my BeNew weight loss website and shopping cart. I hope it starts making sales for me soon! Check it out, and let me know what you think. (Positive or negative input welcomed)
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TueMike Colahan left the conversation. - Wednesday
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Wayne Froemke
To clarify, the last message was directed at all in this conversation thread.
- Thursday
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Wayne Froemke
My presumption is that my family "truly loves" me. So that's why I'm continuing updates in this thread, otherwise, it would be futile to communicate about my situation to deaf, uncompassionate ears who don't care about my survival. (I see my future brother-in-law has already "left the building".)
Anyway, this low-life loser, convicted-felon extortionist (for shutting off my web-hosting for non-payment) managed to find a part-time grounds-keeper job for 2 days a week for the first few weeks, and then 1 day a week after that. I start on Monday at 8am at the Knoles apartments, which is close enough (1 1/2 miles) for my 55-year old body to ride my bike to.
The job will consist of me shoveling off rocks off the sidewalks, sweeping and raking leaves, picking up lose trash, and maybe, if I'm lucky, riding the stand-on lawnmower in a couple weeks.
If all goes smoothly, hopefully, this will be in time, and be enough to prevent me from going homeless. So for the perceivable next 3 weeks, it looks like I may be OK, for now. (OK = barely treading water without drowning)
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Wayne Froemke
*loose
- Friday
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Wayne Froemke
Well, I spoke too soon. Looks like homelessness is right around the corner after-all.
To my total surprise, Darryl told me tonight that he wants me out in a week. I just paid him weekly rent of $85 from this Thursday to next Thursday. I went to the motel owner and asked if Darryl had paid, and the owner said no. I asked Darryl if he spaced on paying the rent and he said, "Yes, hehe, I was just so busy today" (but he wasn't).
This morning, he had the TV blaring so loud that I couldn't hear myself think, so I asked him, "Can we have the TV turned down a couple of notches?". He said in a serious tone, "NO!" He saw I was stunned, as I deliberately thought before how I could ask him nicely.
Then he goes, "hehe, just kidding." About 5 minutes later, he gruffly turned the TV off (over-exaggerating and over-reacting) and kept it off the rest the day and did not talk to me. (Later I discovered he took a battery out of the remote control, so I couldn't watch the TV or change the channel. The TV only works with the remote.)
Then tonight, he yelled at me, "I can't take this anymore! You're going to have to leave in a week. I need my privacy."
Stunned, I asked him, "You're kicking me out? I thought we moved in to here, together?" He said, "I was the one who got this place, and my name is on it."
So instead of being a co-tenant with equal rights, I'm apparently (according to him) a subtenant, even though I've paid half.
This was supposedly my "best friend" in Denver. Once again, betrayed. I thought we were going to stick together until we both got out of our bind. I just needed a little more time. I'm doing what I can. This is the same person whom I let have the bed, let him have the whole half to himself, while I share my half with the refrigerator, shelving, microwave, and TV, and being cramped on couch pads.
This is the same man whom I built a free shopping cart for to help him sell his jewelry products, about a $1,000 website project if he had to pay for it. This is the same person whom has asked me to "shill" bid for him on eBay, so he doesn't lose his shirt on too low bids.
This is the same "best friend" whom whenever I have some good news, or have accomplished something good, I get, "Hmmm." This is the same "best friend" whom said I was one of his best friends that he could count on one hand.
Yet, he's willing to kick me out on the streets to be homeless.
What I found is that he is not who I thought he was, which really makes me sad.
Right now, I FEEL that only one person in the world truly cares about me now, and what happens to me, and that is Connie.
I've asked before (with no answer) and I'll ask again, "What would you do?"
I already asked a former homeless guy (for 2 years), named Larry, how one can survive in Castle Rock as a homeless person. He said, "You can't! They have camping laws, and one can only camp in an authorized recreational area." Larry has a tent behind this motel, with the motel owners agreement, in exchange for work. But there is no more room for another tent, and keep it hidden from public.
If I camp under an I-25 bridge here, the cops will catch me right away, as they have bike cops and cops with 4-wheelers patrolling the area for homeless all the time, telling the them to leave. This keeps Castle Rock a "tidy family environment for the rich."
I cannot survive homeless. If this happens, I will seriously consider ending my life. Period. I'm NOT going to live homeless. It's not worth living like that. It's not living to me. So, there's I-25 with lots of semi-trucks on one side of me, and the fast trains on the other side.
Best choice? Walking in front of the train, as that would be a more certain quick death, and wouldn't cause any traffic congestion on the highway, and it would save many others from witnessing the morbidity of it.
There are reasons (such as what I described above) why the Bible commands to give to the poor. I'd say, regretfully (and shamefully), I qualify in that department at this point in my life.
If my family leaves me hanging, and I become homeless ... which I'm VERY, VERY close now, and on the brink, I will KNOW in my heart, three very sad and depressing facts:
1) They don't "truly love" me (as was stated earlier). It was patronizing bullshit. Just from the deafening silence here alone, there seems to be no apparent compassion. If it's there, then why don't I FEEL it? I know I should FEEL the care and love, and NOT feel abandoned, like I do now.
(I remember my dad telling me, "We thought you were dead!" What a lame excuse for not trying to communicate to me. My name, email, and phone were only plastered all over the Internet for years and years, and a simple, cursory Internet search would have easily found I was alive and well, and that I was super easy to contact. The only real answer to this neglect I can see is, "My dad just didn't care."
2) They are not a Christian. In fact, they are worse than unbelievers 1 Timothy 5:8 (in fact, hypocrites).
3) They are what Connie describes as, "false Christians."
Though I surely didn't look or ask for it, it surely looks as if my family (who are capable) are being put to the acid test now, to see if they are truly following Christ, and are really what one claims to be.
I have 7 days here where I'm at now, and then however many days I have left staying in another motel until my money runs out, and becoming homeless.
Being homeless creates a lot more complications, such as showering, protection from the elements, and being robbed (or hurt or murdered), to name just a few. I can't conceive my family being able to tolerate this "lifestyle" for me, or being so uncompassionate and unloving to allow it to happen. If they can, then I can't conceive of having a worse family, short of one with a murderer or murderers.
I know this isn't comfortable to read, any more than it is very uncomfortable for me to write. I wish I didn't feel I have to write it.
Deuteronomy 15:7-11 ESV
“If among you, one of your brothers should become poor, in any of your towns within your land that the Lord your God is giving you, you shall not harden your heart or shut your hand against your poor brother, but you shall open your hand to him and lend him sufficient for his need, whatever it may be. Take care lest there be an unworthy thought in your heart and you say, ‘The seventh year, the year of release is near,’ and your eye look grudgingly on your poor brother, and you give him nothing, and he cry to the Lord against you, and you be guilty of sin. You shall give to him freely, and your heart shall not be grudging when you give to him, because for this the Lord your God will bless you in all your work and in all that you undertake. For there will never cease to be poor in the land. Therefore I command you, ‘You shall open wide your hand to your brother, to the needy and to the poor, in your land.’
- Friday
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Lenore Nail
I got paid! I can send the money today.
I hope you are not judging too quickly. I live from paycheck to paycheck. I have not been able to build savings myself.I do love you.
Lenore - Friday
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Wayne Froemke
Thank you very much, Lenore. (I won't forget)
To all;
I need an un-begrudged $165 a week for 2 to 3 weeks, either as a gift or a loan. Provided I'm able to get more work, this should keep my life out of the hell of homelessness.
A place here at Castle Pines Motel is opening up this coming Friday for $165 a week (if I do my own house-keeping). It is unit #9. (I'm in unit #7 right now with Darryl, who wants me out by Friday).
I'm current with Darryl until next Wednesday. I will have to pay him for Thursday, and then I can move in #9 on Friday (if I have the money). I also owe Darryl $62.50 tomorrow for 1/2 of one months' storage in his 10x10 unit. (My check today from TPM was $65 for my night in hell throwing kegs (after taxes and $15 background check fee deducted). So this covers my storage.
I took a leap of faith by telling the motel owner, Larry, that I will have the $165 for him this Friday, and shook on it. (This is the cheapest place in Castle Rock to live for somebody in my bad situation.)
So, again, what I need to keep from becoming homeless is an un-begrudged $165 a week for 2 to 3 weeks, either as a gift or a loan, however one's grace leads them.
(If it's a loan, I can't promise when I can pay it back until my money situation stabilizes, by getting more work from TPM.)
Next week, I start working 2 days a week doing the grounds-keeper job from 8am to 4PM at the Knoles apartments, and TPM will continue to look for more days work for me, elsewhere. Now that winter is apparently finally over, here, summer work is popping up according to TPM. So more work should be forthcoming, soon.
Can you help me, please?
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Wayne Froemke
So the appropriate God-directed Christian response is to IGNORE? (minus you, Lenore, and anybody else who is TRULY incapable or afraid to communicate).
Unbelievable!
You mean to tell me that my loving family has done everything under the sun to help prevent me from becoming homeless? Have they redirected their 10% tithes? Have they called up their fellow Christian church members to see if they can help me? Has my father, who I KNOW is capable, been told? It there really this urgency to help me?
Connie, not in my blood line, WANTS to help me, but can't right now, as she is in a disastrous situation of domestic violence situation herself, which I totally understand, and which nobody in my family seems to care ... even though it's been made clear that Connie means the WORLD to me, somebody whom I'd marry, if she would say, yes.
I have to say I'm dismayed right now. IMO, what I have seen are NOT the proper response, in this thread, of alleged Christians, especially family, which I expected. It is no wonder why so many who are not Christians don't become one. They don't see enough of the Christian witness of Jesus's giving, as he instructed below:
(Does a true Christian need any more Bible versus directly by Jesus, than this, to get the idea of helping others?)
Matthew 5:23-24
Give to him who asks you, and don’t turn away him who desires to borrow from you.
Matthew 5:42
Give to everyone who asks you, and don’t ask him who takes away your goods to give them back again.
Luke 6:30
35 …for I was hungry, and you gave me food to eat. I was thirsty, and you gave me drink. I was a stranger, and you took me in. 36 I was naked, and you clothed me. I was sick, and you visited me. I was in prison, and you came to me.’ 37 “Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry, and feed you; or thirsty, and give you a drink? 38 When did we see you as a stranger, and take you in; or naked, and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick, or in prison, and come to you?’ 40 “The King will answer them, ‘Most certainly I tell you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’
Matthew 25:35-40
32 If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. 33 If you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. 34 If you lend to those from whom you hope to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to receive back as much. 35 But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing back; and your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High; for he is kind toward the unthankful and evil.
Luke 6:32-35
But give for gifts to the needy those things which are within, and behold, all things will be clean to you.
Luke 11:41
33 Sell that which you have, and give gifts to the needy. Make for yourselves purses which don’t grow old, a treasure in the heavens that doesn’t fail, where no thief approaches, neither moth destroys. 34 For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.
Luke 12:33-34
12 He also said to the one who had invited him, “When you make a dinner or a supper, don’t call your friends, nor your brothers, nor your kinsmen, nor rich neighbors, or perhaps they might also return the favor, and pay you back. 13 But when you make a feast, ask the poor, the maimed, the lame, or the blind; 14 and you will be blessed, because they don’t have the resources to repay you. For you will be repaid in the resurrection of the righteous.”
Luke 14:12-14
In all things I gave you an example, that so laboring you ought to help the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, that he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’”
Acts 20:35
For whoever will give you a cup of water to drink in my name, because you are Christ’s, most certainly I tell you, he will in no way lose his reward.
Mark 9:41
33 But a certain Samaritan, as he traveled, came where he was. When he saw him, he was moved with compassion, 34 came to him, and bound up his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. He set him on his own animal, and brought him to an inn, and took care of him. 35 On the next day, when he departed, he took out two denarii, and gave them to the host, and said to him, ‘Take care of him. Whatever you spend beyond that, I will repay you when I return.’
Luke 10:33-35 (WEB)
1 He looked up, and saw the rich people who were putting their gifts into the treasury. 2 He saw a certain poor widow casting in two small brass coins. 3 He said, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow put in more than all of them, 4 for all these put in gifts for God from their abundance, but she, out of her poverty, put in all that she had to live on.”
Luke 21:1-4
1 Be careful that you don’t do your charitable giving before men, to be seen by them, or else you have no reward from your Father who is in heaven. 2 Therefore when you do merciful deeds, don’t sound a trumpet before yourself, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may get glory from men. Most certainly I tell you, they have received their reward. 3 But when you do merciful deeds, don’t let your left hand know what your right hand does, 4 so that your merciful deeds may be in secret, then your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly.
Matthew 6:1-4
21 Jesus said to him, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell what you have, and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.” 22 But when the young man heard the saying, he went away sad, for he was one who had great possessions. 23 Jesus said to his disciples, “Most certainly I say to you, a rich man will enter into the Kingdom of Heaven with difficulty. 24 Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through a needle’s eye, than for a rich man to enter into the Kingdom of God.” 25 When the disciples heard it, they were exceedingly astonished, saying, “Who then can be saved?” 26 Looking at them, Jesus said, “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” 27 Then Peter answered, “Behold, we have left everything, and followed you. What then will we have?” 28 Jesus said to them, “Most certainly I tell you that you who have followed me, in the regeneration when the Son of Man will sit on the throne of his glory, you also will sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. 29 Everyone who has left houses, or brothers, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name’s sake, will receive one hundred times, and will inherit eternal life. 30 But many will be last who are first; and first who are last.
Matthew 19:21-30
21 Jesus looking at him loved him, and said to him, “One thing you lack. Go, sell whatever you have, and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me, taking up the cross.” 22 But his face fell at that saying, and he went away sorrowful, for he was one who had great possessions. 23 Jesus looked around, and said to his disciples, “How difficult it is for those who have riches to enter into the Kingdom of God!” 24 The disciples were amazed at his words. But Jesus answered again, “Children, how hard is it for those who trust in riches to enter into the Kingdom of God! 25 It is easier for a camel to go through a needle’s eye than for a rich man to enter into the Kingdom of God.” 26 They were exceedingly astonished, saying to him, “Then who can be saved?” 27 Jesus, looking at them, said, “With men it is impossible, but not with God, for all things are possible with God.” 28 Peter began to tell him, “Behold, we have left all, and have followed you.” 29 Jesus said, “Most certainly I tell you, there is no one who has left house, or brothers, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or land, for my sake, and for the sake of the Good News, 30 but he will receive one hundred times more now in this time, houses, brothers, sisters, mothers, children, and land, with persecutions; and in the age to come eternal life. 31 But many who are first will be last; and the last first.”
Mark 10:21-31
22 When Jesus heard these things, he said to him, “You still lack one thing. Sell all that you have, and distribute it to the poor. You will have treasure in heaven. Come, follow me.” 23 But when he heard these things, he became very sad, for he was very rich. 24 Jesus, seeing that he became very sad, said, “How hard it is for those who have riches to enter into the Kingdom of God! 25 For it is easier for a camel to enter in through a needle’s eye, than for a rich man to enter into the Kingdom of God.” 26 Those who heard it said, “Then who can be saved?” 27 But he said, “The things which are impossible with men are possible with God.” 28 Peter said, “Look, we have left everything, and followed you.” 29 He said to them, “Most certainly I tell you, there is no one who has left house, or wife, or brothers, or parents, or children, for the Kingdom of God’s sake, 30 who will not receive many times more in this time, and in the world to come, eternal life.”
Luke 18:22-30
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Vivien Froemke HewsWayne, I'm not ignoring you. You can throw scripture around and beat me with it if you feel that helps in any way. I just don't know what to say. My heart goes out to you, it really does. Unfortunately my responsibility lays with my kids at this stage of my life. Hope you understand that.
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Wayne FroemkeVivien, if you are truly incapable of helping me out to keep a roof over my head for a week ($165), then I totally understand.
But are you communicating to others about my devastatingly scary plight, and seeking help from others to help me, who CAN?
Have you told your blood-mom (my adopted mom), and have you told our father my situation? Does he know? What about your church? Do they know?
Are you doing everything you truly can, even if it's just telling others?
If you are, then what are they saying? If not, could you please tell them for me?
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Wayne Froemke
BTW, you being a mother, your loyalty to your 2 daughters and son, are truly admirable. I wish I had had a mom like that after the first five years of my life. I wish I had a father like this, to this date. But I'm not witnessing it.
However, from my understanding about being a true Christian, it is not about only helping others who love you. That's easy.
As Jesus said ...
32 If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. 33 If you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. 34 If you lend to those from whom you hope to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to receive back as much. 35 But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing back; and your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High; for he is kind toward the unthankful and evil.
Luke 6:32-35
The sayings of Jesus are meant to be applicable to every day life, even in the year 2013. He gave an ethical guideline as to what is meant to follow in his foot-steps.
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Connie Dazeasked if your eating? it's discusting & heartb
reaking.
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Connie Daze
she doesn't Want to help you & she's NOT going to help you! let it go Wayne...actions speak louder than words. if they cared, you would have at least recieved some ph. calls. someone would have been checking on you.(except for Lenore) she is showing love & compassion. why hasn't anyone even a
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Vivien Froemke Hews
Wayne, I don't know if other family members are aware of your situation. If you have not personally made them aware, maybe they are unaware. I am so very busy keeping my head above water myself. You seem to have alot of time to type novels..LOL... Maybe you need to call those other family members who don't connect on line and check in with them. Just a thought
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Connie Daze
asked if your eating? this is disgusting & heartbreaking! and I dont care what these evil people think of me for defending wayne! what are they gonna do...judge me...who gives a crap! lol! quit calling them christians wayne! they are false christians & they are not fooling God. its there karma..focus on those who are there for you..let the others go...only love them at arms length.
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Vivien Froemke Hews
Connie, I supported Wayne for two years. Your accusation that his family has no compassion is unfounded. I guess if we don't behave according to your expectation's then we are trash. I refuse to be bashed in this way as I know this is simply untrue. If the family bashing continues I will remove my kids and I from such abuse as we have done nothing wrong and don't deserve such treatment.
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Connie Daze
again...actions speak loader than words! it's not me you need to convince...tell it to your God... go ahead...tell him,''but God, I already helped wayne & I just dont wanna help him again.'' keep telling yourself you've done nothing wrong. you haven't even called him to talk to him!!! I call & check on him every single day!! and as far as helping him in the past,he has helped you too! for gods sake you were using all his foodstamps for months when he moved to denver!! $600.00 worth! you dont need foodstamps! not to mention thats welfare fraud which is a felony! the place you offered him didn't even have a shower & you were gonna start charging him rent for it by making him work 20 hrs a week and
not giving him any cash for it so if you only payed min wage @ 7 bucks an hr.,that means you wre trying to make him pay 700$ aq month for a room without a shower! WHO DOES THAT!!! he's your broyher!!! ughhhh! never mind...I'm talking to a brick wall! -
Connie Daze
I'm not abusing you or anyone els. I'm just desprately trying to get you to see what you're doing because it's wrong in so many ways! I just wish you would open your eyes & heart to wayne because he needs you!! you are the one abusing him by not taking his situation seriously! you havent even passed it on to your family!!! why!! because your buisy?!! dear God we're all buisy!!!! it's like you dont WANT him to get any help! he hasnt called his other family members cuz he feels like they dont care about him.''by there actions'' or lack of. everyone stopped talking to him after he was convicted of a felony. who cares about a stupid felony!!! wayne is still wayne!! I dont know...I just dont understand!
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Connie Daze
and quit saying you supported him! he bought all his own food & personal needs himself. I'm a mother of two. I know what supporting some one consists of. all you did was let him stay in a room in the back of your office that didn't have a shower & picked him up only about 3 days a week to take him to your house to shower. wayne also put 3 trailor homes in his name for you so your ex wouldn't find out about it so that you could take everything from him instead of splitting it all down the middle with him. wayne didn't have to do that for you.he could have lost his foodstammps because of that. but he loves you. he built you web sites & only charged you a tiny fraction of what a website actually costs. & believe me I know 1st hand that he worked his butt off for those websites. he watched your kids for you anytime you asked & he was the shoulder that you cried on many times when you were scared & heartbroken. well some strangers have read your brothers cries for help and they pulled together 5 bucks here,20 bucks there & raised 300 dollers for him. so he should be just fine for now. please open your heart & at least call him just too say hello. he loves you very much but he is afraid & even alittle ashamed of his situation,& depressed to call any of you.
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Wayne Froemke
Clearly, Connie and I are frustrated at the non-caring. I can't believe my adopted mom and blood father haven't even been told? Amazing! Why not? It looks to us that somebody just simply doesn't care enough.
If I knew that any of my sisters, adopted mom, or father were about ready to go homeless, I would be doing EVERYTHING in my power to prevent that from happening. The most obvious one would be to give money. The second most obvious action would be to LET EVERYBODY KNOW! Aren't these obvious?
What is so hard about that? Wouldn't anybody else hear feel abandoned by their family if the did NOT do this? Well, that's how I'm feeling now.
If it's truly a matter of money in my family, and that EVERYBODY in my family is totally flat broke, I didn't hear, either, any mention of anybody going to their Christian church to ask for help to keep their brother or son from going home-less, if "everybody" in my family is truly "unable" to help me at this time. Why not?
Neither Connie or I are witnessing any serious proactivity to help me, that will actually keep a roof over my head. Not only is this extremely frustrating, it makes us very sad and heart-broken.
Can anybody perceive how this could be?
Avoiding, ignoring, or cutting off communication is NEVER the right answer. Confront is the answer. To continue communicating until the problem is resolved is the right answer to conflict. BUT, that's only if BOTH parties in the conflict really want it resolved.
Connie is being abusive by telling the truth? If anybody knows what abusive really is, CONNIE knows. She can write a book on it, and she is seriously considering it. The information she knows and can provide can help millions of battered women who suffer in a domestic violence situation, as Connie is right this very minute as I write this.
I would go as far to say that Connie has become an EXPERT at handling narcissistic people, who abuse others, to help keep themselves (the abused) safe.
One doesn't have the faintest clue about domestic violence (abuse) until they have walked in Connie's shoes. She is the toughest and most compassionate woman I've ever met, and that's one of the reasons I love her.
"People learn to keep their mouths shut, and it's the wrong lesson. When in doubt, talk. When in doubt, communicate. You'll be very successful all the way along the line if you just remember that."
- A wise man
Caveat ... UNLESS they are a narcissist. If they are, and you communicate too much, you will be threatened with punishment or actually punished with ... silence (cut off communication), abusive screaming, taking something away, withholding love, withholding help, entrapment, or even physical violence.
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Vivien Froemke Hews
I give up, I just do not have the emotional energy to withstand an attack of this caliber. So I quit. Good bye. I wish you the best.
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Wayne Froemke
Poor you? Really? Are you serious? So you just abandon? Interesting.
Is the emotional energy-drain to withstand my terror of possibly going homeless, soon, even being considered?
How about the emotional energy-drain to humble up, humiliate and embarrass myself by pleading for help? Is this less important, than the claimed "attack"?
Is this behavior "the Christian way" which the Bible teaches to deal with the conversation of ...
... one's CRY FOR REAL HELP, caring, and compassion from their own family, and an expression of their frustration in getting it, by the lack of action to help them (or even just to CALL them), and then calling out this failure of caring and action?
Am I wrong for being frustrated and scared? Is Connie wrong for being upset at the lack of adequate action?
Is the truth hitting so close to home that it's too hard to confront?
If my cry for help, and expression of frustration and sorrow is not what's heard here, then I suggest reading the book, "Non-Violent Communication", by Dr. Rosenberg.
This conversation has always been about, PLEASE HELP ME.
With the lack of action (except for Lenore), it naturally forced itself into a negative situation, because of the unbelievability of not having a FAMILY to be a ROCK in one's life, that one can count on. Is there any wonder why there is dysfunction? It all comes down to HELP.
It could have been very SIMPLE, with ...
"Sure, Wayne. Here you go! I'm so sorry you're going through this. Everything will be OK. We have your back!"
Will anybody else in my family please help me so I don't go homeless? Or am I finding out the hard way, I really don't HAVE a family, after-all.
I got it, Vivien. You don't WANT to help me. Now I know.
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Wayne Froemke
Wow! My own "loving" Christian sister, Vivien, UNfriended me! So THAT is an example of how a Christian treats a family member about ready to go homeless? I can't believe it! My own family, UNfriending me! Amazing!, huh, Connie.
But, I guess that's what you get when you call somebody out when they know they are guilty of what you're calling them out on.
Lenore, will you please give me our sisters', Tyan, phone number? I lost it in my change of cell phones. Also, could you please tell our father, and our adopted mom what's going on? (Though I have a hard time believing they don't know, as Nancy is tagged in this conversation, and it's unimaginable that she hasn't told our father.)
Again, Lenore, I know you don't have much money, and so the $20 you sent means an EXTRA lot to me. Again, thank you for doing what you CAN do. I love you for that!
Now I question whether Tyan has been told about my imminent risk of homelessness, either. Maybe she can help me. My new number is 720-226-8860 in case one doesn't have it (even though it's all over the Internet and easy to find).
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Wayne Froemke
Connie, I consider you an expert on Narcissism. Don't narcissists frame another's conversation (who are calling out the narcissists' bullshit) as an "attack" on them? Isn't this typical narcissistic behavior?
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