Financial and Personal Freedom

I have lived in a sexless marriage for 10 years now. For the past 16 my wife has encouraged me to get out on my own, and maybe start over. We both care deeply for each other, but realize that we can't keep going on like this. At least once a year I have to unload my feelings, and that's not fair to her. She feels guilty, and I feel guilty for bringing it up yet again. It causes friction in our otherwise great friendship. We will always be friends, and I still love her deeply.

There's just one problem. Well, several actually. Bills. For me to start over I'd have to pay off about $30k in debt, find somewhere to live, get my car fixed, and start over in a new career. That takes time, and as we all know time is money. Once that is accomplished the only obstacle is one that we've already talked about - going to the county courthouse and filing the paperwork. There won't be any drama or fighting about that.

Two of the bills paid off would allow her to not have to worry about losing any income I'm currently bringing in. That alone would make me so incredibly grateful. I would still feel guilt for leaving, but at least it wouldn't be yet another financial burden on her.

I don't want to become one of those bitter men you see and hear about every day. Neither of us would have to feel guilty any more. It would mean the world to me to have the chance to start over, and not be a burden on her anymore.

I can't express how grateful I would be in mere words. I've tried several times to write it all out, but the words seem hollow to the reality.