Family in poverty

Hallow everyone, my name is Khanyisa young female in South Africa am coming from a family of 12 people including 5 kids we are leaving in a small,damaged house it can fall anytime ,we don't have food kids don't have clothes I don't know when we last ate a decent meal my mother is disabled and sick my family conditions pains me in such a way that I sometimes want to kill my self so I won't see my family suffering I lost my job february this year ever since its been a struggle after another I need someone's help financial so I can buy my family food,clothes I also want to do drivers license so I can get a job please I need your help so desperately I don't know what happiness is I don't know what peace is because ever since I can remember I have never had peace in my life it hurts to see my family struggling while am still young and alive please help me and your prayers will help I sometimes feel like am cursed or something or my family is cursed please help me/ us thank you and be blessed