Doctor’s Orders – Cracker Campout Mandatory Vacation

PLEASE HELP!  DOCTOR'S ORDERS!

Cracker Campout - Pioneertown, CA

After recent company physical examinations (OK. It was a Pysche Test.  Close Enough.), the attending physician mumbled something about 'going postal' and 'keep an eye on them;' then wrote a prescription for what he termed 'a needed getaway,'ordered us to get out of town and leave families, work and stress behind.  He actually said 'get as far away from me as possible,' but why split hairs.  Not wanting to argue with a professional, we immediately made plans to attend the Ninth Annual Cracker Campout in Pioneertown, CA which is three days of music and relaxation followed by two days in Vegas.  The latter part may not be relaxing, but who could resist a little sin in the city.

After making said plans we filed claims for reimbursement with our insurance companies.  Stating that our policies do not cover 'getaway expenses' and even if they did, they would not cover prescriptions written by Dr. Gettum Whatchapayfor our claims were denied.  Shocked and in disbelief we then had to face the fact we did not have the cash to take our medically required journey. 

We had a brilliant idea!  We would try to raise money with a Car Wash.  Heck, everyone else does it.  Why not!   Unfortunately, we found that there isn't much demand for two out of shape grown men to wash cars in their European style speedos.  I know.  We didn't expect that either.  Go figure.

Well, here we are,  Broke,  Agitated and on the verge of a postal meltdown, desperately needing to get out of town, far away from wives, girlfriends, mothers, brothers, co-workers, bill collectors, that annoying guy who won't turn at the red light, and maybe even you.  So, do what is right.  Do what is best for us and maybe what is best for you.  (Remember the going postal part.)  Please donate to our worthy cause and we promise, when you are about to have a breakdown, we will return the favor.