Before I share this, about my wife and our journey together thus far. Firstly, I would like to thank everyone that takes the time to read this from the bottom of my heart. We have had not shared our stories with many people including family members in fear of judgement and pity or even just fear of making us vulnerable. So, I will be honest, I am not sure where to begin as we do find it difficult to ask for help knowing that there are people in worse situations than us and that have been struggling with much more physical pain, emotional pain and trying to conceive much longer than we have. However, here we are sharing our lives, our pain, our hopes and hopefully our joys.
So, allow me to introduce us, I am Qiyam, and my wife is Michaela. We have been together officially for 6 years and married for 2 years. I remember the day my girlfriend now wife told me about her infertility and saying that she would not blame me if I decided to leave, I saw the pain and dread in her eyes as she was explaining everything to me. Well, here we are a few years later and trying to make our wish come true. She said that she felt less than a woman and was trying to push me away, but I pushed back harder and fought harder to be with her. Since then, we have been enjoying our time together and making the most of the situation with trying to start our family.
So here is a little back story about my wife’s condition. She was 16 years old and started experiencing 3 months of non-stop menstruation and severe abdominal pain. She was taken to her GP, and he did a complete physical examination. He referred her to hospital in fear that it was her appendix which was about to rupture. The doctor did an ultrasound and once he got the results, he told Michaela that she had PCOS. That because of the severity and the fact that cysts were rupturing was the cause of the pain, and she would suffer with pain permanently. The rupturing caused some scarring, causing her to be infertile as per the Doctor.
Since then, she has been suffering with severe pains and some days she is on her hands and knees crying. I feel so helpless, knowing the pain she is going but also not wanting to give up on having our own little bundle of joy. She wants to adopt as she feels there are many children out there that need a loving family and home. But I still want my wife to experience the wonders of having a life grow inside. I see a part of her dying inside a little even though she says she is over trying and wants to only get rid of the back and pelvic pain she lives with every day, pain that has been increasing in severity to the point where she cannot bend over or pick-up objects or even stand for 15 minutes with being in pain. As the months went on and the pain increased, she saw numerous doctors and had vials of blood drawn, fertility medications to birth control medication, ultrasounds scans done and having internal examinations. The result was not a positive one, she had distended fallopian tubes, ultimately, she was healthy and most of the cysts had cleared up, but the tubes were the shape of kidneys and filled with liquid causing pressure and the pain. The looming idea of being in and out of hospital with no end in sight and the expenses increasing, she stopped as she was advised being young, her body could repair itself.
With everything that is going on in the world and losing her father to a heart attack on New Year’s Day. We decided to see a specialist at Cape Fertility. In hopes for some good news to bring some joy back into this dark and trying time in not only our lives but everyone around us. So we had a scan done and a lot of blood tests done. The scan showed that her tubes are still a growing problem and as advised by the doctor once all results are in, we will need to have surgery and she will need to have her tubes removed as they could rupture and be extremely dangerous, even cause her death. The only way then for her to conceive would be through IVF. As we all know both these procedures along with all the medication needed are not cheap and IVF is also not 100% successful so there could be more than one round of IVF needed. All I want to give my wife is a chance to have a baby of our own. Even if its just 1 bundle of joy but that baby will be so loved and so blessed, she would be a fantastic mother. Please help me help my wife and make our dream come true, if not to start a family but to rid her of this crippling pain she experiences. As we were advised, the longer we wait the chances decreases exponentially and the risk on her life also becomes increasingly more serious according to the specialist.
Thank you again for reading this and may you all have joy and happiness in your lives...