Did you see her?

I don't know when and I don't know how, but one morning I woke up and I didn't recognize the person in the mirror. I look like her, I sound like her , but I'm not her. Not anymore.

A shadow of the person I used to be. I got so caught up helping others , that I forgot about myself and it became habit. Life happened and my habit became my sanctuary, my hiding place and I got lost in it and eventually I lost myself without even realizing it.

No matter how hard I try to get my life back, I just can't seem to find myself. I can feel her , but I can't find her.

Every time I think things took a turn for the better, the old me can finally get my life back, something happens and the mask comes back up and back into the shadows I go.

My animals is the only reminder as to who I used to be. I do animal rescue as a passion , I saved them and now they are saving me

Helping others bring me joy, being able to do something for someone else in need. But sometimes it comes at a price, May it be emotional, financial or both.

One of the latest charities cost me my job, it wasn't the little one's fault, I put my trust in the wrong person. That person made sure I lost my job , but worse , that person also made me loose contact with the defenseless little one. I found her new location a few weeks back and I tried getting her to safety, but thus far I haven't been successful. I maxed out my credit card and overdraft paying the bills

Loosing my job, was hard and I haven't been able to find another job yet. I am single, have a mortgage, bills to pay and animals that is dependent on me. Selling my house I've had for 11 years is decision I soon have to make and renting a pet friendly property will most probably equal my mortgage payment.

I use my house to rescue/foster animals in need and I also want to provide a place of safety to the little girl, perhaps even 2 more children in need

Over a month ago my car suddenly died on me and is the mechanic unable to locate the problem or give me a reason as to why my engine failed or why it won't start. Leaving me stranded and restricted trying to find a new job, unable to do some odd jobs and searching for ways to help the little one

This is the darkest space I've ever been in and I do not wish to loose the little bit of the old me that is still there deep down.

They say darkness can't remove darkness, only light can. I'm a proud person that never asks for help, but at this stage II need someone to shine some light for me .

It's time I find myself and take my life back!

My financial situation is as follows:

Car repair - R15000.00

Medical aid in arrears - R18000.00 ( 4 months , incl end Jan 2022)

Mortgage in arrears - R66000 ( 4 months , incl end Jan 2022)

My whatsapp number is +27845485519