Sep 10, 2018 at 12:35 am

For those wanting to know why Tony stays in a hotel room and if there isn't a better option

Update posted by Jill Ashmore

I have been contacted today and told someone is being contacted by people concerned as to why Tony stays in a hotel room and couldn't a more permanent housing option be found rather than Tony throwing away $70 on a room every night . ... So here's my reply for those people

Firstly no one wishes more than Tony that there was a more permanent housing option . It is not how he would choose to live , it is not like someone staying in a hotel for a week or two or whatever on vacation being able to go eat out and visit places and have a life outside that hotel room . Tony only has that hotel room and is not able to venture far from it or spend money on anything hardly other than the room itself . He has no cooking facilities and a food card that only allows him to buy uncooked food for starters . All he has is what is in that one room with him nothing else apart from what is in his small storage unit that he can't get to . It is not a life of luxury .. it is the cheapest hotel he can find and his hotel room feels like his prison he has lived this way and in a car on the streets for a long long time . There is no one wishes more than Tony that there was some other way to survive .. because that is all it is .. surviving .. its not living any kind of life worth living .

OK so why does Tony have to live this way ? Well do you know anyone who would rent somewhere to someone with no income at all other than what they might be given on a fund raiser ? He has tried to apply for disability but they need him to go for an examination that is not local to Tony to continue with his claim . This is in spite of his doctor sending them all his information and saying he doesn't see that he will ever be fit enough to work again . Tony has persistent dangerously high blood pressure that they can't get under control in spite of him being on several medications for it , He has curvature of his spine and other issues with it when it was x rayed , a scan showed he has a large abdominal hernia and prostrate issues , he has stress ulcers in his stomach , every time he tries to do anything he gets so dizzy he feels like hes going to be sick or fall down and has had several falls , even using the bathroom in his room and uses a stick to mobilise outside and given how little he eats I'm sure suffering from malnutrition too . Then he gets so very depressed that all he wants is to be with his family again , he cant see any point in going on and has no hope of ever being able to be happy again and just can't look at the future because in his mind he is not going to be alive for much longer and doesn't want to be alive for much longer .. this is how he feels a lot of the time . He gets very confused and for much of the time finds it hard to think straight and know which way to turn , often having very bad panic attacks and it takes everything he has to just get through each day . This isn't me or you , it isn't someone that is well and able .. its someone that is physically , mentally and emotionally exhausted and debilitated beyond what we can even imagine being . People have said he needs to get an attorney to peruse his claim with disability or get a taxi there but how can he do that when every time he moves he feels like hes going to throw up or fall and even going to the front desk or to the shop a few doors down the road is nearly impossible for him and he is so dizzy and exhausted mentally that he cant cope with typing or chatting to me on here these days and even me asking how much he has left in his account to cover his room stresses him out how on earth is he supposed to cope with getting an attorney and all they are going to have to ask him about his case ?

We have tried to find help for him ... here's just one of many examples of how that went ... I found him a number to call for the emergency mental health crisis team when he was having one of his really bad depressions . He called it but as soon as he mentioned being homeless .. they didn't want to know and said oh its housing you need not us . So then I found him the relevant number for the rapid rehousing people .. and he rang it . He spoke to a social worker there who told him .. oh we only help those who have homes they are about to loose or some income that they can put towards housing . They said the only place for him was to go to a homeless shelter . We have to remember though this is Tony we are trying to find a solution for , not something that would work for me or you but for Tony , and that is certainly not a homeless shelter . For one thing he has little Rocky and no shelters where he is take pets . Even without Rocky though because of all hes gone through and having been let down so much by other people Tony can't cope with being among strangers or lots of other people . He is stressed to his limit at the best of times without that extra stress . He would just not cope at all in the crowded homeless shelters with no privacy and no where to feel safe or keep what he has managed to hold onto safe either . Most people there would be very stressed as well and it wouldn't take anything in those conditions for arguments and fights etc to start and it just is not the place for him to be . He has filled in the paperwork for section 8 housing and others who have applied at the same time have got housing because of having disability already and some income but Tony has no help from them . He has tried calling all sorts of places but gets told no we cant help you or doesn't even get called back , or has to go to some office he cant get to before he can be helped .. and then most likely will be turned down .

Its not just Tony that cant find a better option .. there are thousands on the streets that cant find help , A lot of the time people doing what Tony does and staying in hotel rooms don't even count as being homeless . There are all kinds of people who are homeless and can't get help , families with babies and young children , pregnant women giving birth on the streets , elderly people , a friend who helped Tony had to have open heart surgery and was put in a rehab centre till his medical insurance ran out then he was back on the streets again and the last time he went to the hospital they told him he probably had a year to live and there was no more they could do for him so no point in him going back again , there are disabled people on the streets .. people in wheel chairs and with walking frames and who have had limbs amputated all on the streets because they can't get help . I follow a guy on Facebook who runs a site called Invisible People . He has been homeless himself , worked in homeless services , advocates in a big way for homeless people all over the USA and has been asked to speak at conferences all over the world . One thing he often posts about is how very very impossible it is for anyone who is homeless to find help . How they are given numbers that aren't even in service to ring , how no one ever calls them back and how when they do speak to anyone they are just given one dead end after another , being passed from one place that cant help top another p[lace that cant help and how this can go on for years . He says he gets very very frustrated when families with small children or people in very bad circumstances reach out in his support group .. we are visible and even he cant find any help for them . Even in his support group its the other ordinary people who help most not those who supposedly are there to help . Now if he cant find help for families living on the streets ... how on earth is Tony supposed to find help when he probably isn't even classed as being homeless by them ?

Very often Tony only has funds to cover one more night .. and if he doesn't keep covering that one more night the only alternative is being in the streets . So with no help out there and in his state of health . If you were Tony in that situation not you in your situation . Would you regard that $70 on a hotel room as being wasted ? When that is what you are forced to pay because there aren't any cheaper ones and you'd be in the streets otherwise because no one is there to help you ? Or would you consider it as a life line that keeps you safe , gives you a bed to lie in when your head is spinning and just wont stop , gives you bathroom facilities to use , gives you running water to drink , gives you somewhere to keep what few belongings you have left safe . Most importantly to Tony gives you somewhere to make sure your precious little dog who is your only companion and the only family you have left can stay with you and stay safe . Its not throwing that $70 away its using it to save a life and keep someone and their little dog safe and together when they need each other so much and have lost so much already ... THAT IS NOT THROWING ANYTHING AWAY

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