37 years old. Living in a deserted village for over 20 years with my mother. No friends,no opportunity to socialize. My youth wqs wasted in this moldy house. I need help to get away from here. The nearest town is over 10 miles away and no public transport. My mental health is concerning. I need something to change please

Although I had to go through many things like most of you, I think we all have one thing in common, never lose hope. That is what I have beet trying for the past 20 years. Since my 15th year I have been living in a deserted village, 16 km away from the nearest small town. Since he war ended I have been living here, with my mother, 2-year younger brother his wife and his 2 little girls. Life hasn't always been easy, my father died when I was 17, unexpectedly ( I remember I found out he was sick on Monday, Wednesday he passed away. He didn't tell us about his sickness, probably to spare us the pain, but I will never get over the fact that I didn't even had the chance to say goodbye.) Unfortunately we were on our own after that. We didn't have any income and no family member was willing to help us. One year we had not 1 Dollar, Euro or whatever income an we still had to pay bills, get any groceries, prepare wood for winter an pay the expensive bus cards to be able to go to school. Anything else than that was luxury and therefore not even considered. I went to my senior year of high school, I was a good student, with many hopes and wishes which faded with every passing day. I was made fun of, but I mean there are few lucky ones who weren't bullied in school. For me it was a tiny bit different, I had no new clothes just worn out ones, shoes that were falling apart and as for make-up I could only dream of. More days than not I went to school even without the 25 cents for a sandwich to last me over 9 hours. And while I watched other girls comparing their lives and what they had I was always the quiet one. Admiring what they could afford and stitching the holes of my backpack. After over a year of my fathers sudden death my mother got a retirement plan/money which would be about little less than 200 $. But we were happy, we could pay off debts and the rest once again went for bills and food. I would've gladly have gotten a job, but living this far away, there was nothing I could work. Only during summer we would go up to the mountains and pick up blueberries to sell them. Forward to my years of struggle. I never had a boyfriend, any guy I went out with dumped me either immediately or the next day( The hardcore ones made up stories about how the left the country the very next day). Again, living so far away without a car, it was hard to get to know anyone. So needless to say I had my heart broken so many times and every time in a crueler way, just because I wasn't pretty or outgoing(Bullying does have a lifelong effect on some, me included, which later turned into mental illness and suffering.