Help Transgender Female to Male Realy want Surgery

My name is Dede! I'm not so different from everyone else. I'm 27 years old. I enjoy listen music,playing keyboard and guitar,and also watching movies. I'm from Indonesia. And I live a pretty average life day to day. I also happen to be transgender. I'm a female-to-male transgender man to be more specific. For those who have no idea what that means, I’ll explain. I can only speak from my personal experience but, I was born physically female from birth, but as far back as I can remember I felt male. At approximately 4-5 years old I didn't understand why people insisted that I was a "little girl." I hated with every ounce of me that I "was a girl" as people said. It was a very confusing and uncomfortable thing, growing up. I hated that everyone didn't see the real me, the boy that I knew I was.

In my teenaged years, I found out that there were people like me who transitioned from female to male and lived happy and fulfilling lives as the men they always were. I knew immediately "that's me," I was this "transgender" people were talking about. It was scary and confusing but at the same time liberating because I finally knew why I felt so different from other "girls." I was convinced I would lose my family and friends when I made this transition, but I didn't care. I knew I needed to do this to be happy. I feel very sufered,when i remember my body still "girl",Because not match in my soul,when i am high school i loose my mom she passed away,and 5 years ago i loose my dad also he passed away,I am orphan they leave me when i need them.

since that time i should to be strong,and looking for money by myself,i work and and i save money,but till now i have not enough money to do surgery,i have plan to get a surgery in Bangkok Thailand,because many people said there cheapest price,but still...i cant do that becuase i dont have enough money...I dont want to Die with this Body,i really dreaming Become a Real Man..untill my last breathe..

its me

And its me and My Son ,someone give me baby 6 years ago because her husband runaway,now his age 6 years old and he know i am his daddy