Please help my severely disabled mother in law

I, Ismaiza Ismail from Malaysia, would like to seek help to cover the medical costs and daily expenses to look after my mother in law. She is having severe bone problems and her condition is getting worse from day to day. Now, she cannot straighten her arms and legs, which are getting stiffer from day to day.

She is totally bed ridden and must be fully attended at all times. She had been staying alternately at her two daughters homes, as she was fonder of them compared to her sons. But when she became sick and bed-ridden, none of them willed to have her at their homes anymore and my husband is the only one who is willing to look after her.

She is not accepted by any common welfare home because of her senility – she would babble for hours and therefore it is best to put her in her own room in privacy. Since there is not enough rooms in my house, I have to rent another house just for her and her caregiver. I myself am not fit to care for her since lifting is needed when cleaning and showering her. I am already 54 years old. I also have a schizophrenic son, whom I am still looking after now.

It costs about USD1,500 a month just for the basics - to pay for her house rental, caregiver salary, food, utilities and other basic medical need and expenses. Sometimes, when she falls ill or have medical complications, the cost will become double. Unfortunately, my husband and I have to bear all these expenses alone. We do not have any extra to buy her even a proper hospital bed or new clothes. Or to buy her better medical aid to ease her pain and anxiety. We have to keep our budget tight.

Before the Covid 19 pandemic, my husband and I could still bear the costs of looking after my mother-in-law as I supported quite a lot from my business income. But once the Movement Control Order was imposed in Malaysia last March, my business (Malay wedding catering) had stopped and there is still no sign of it being allowed to operate in the near future. Malaysia is quite strict towards businesses in the social sector. My business may close down altogether. As it is now, I am already owing USD30,000 in workers’ salaries, shop rentals and suppliers’ bills. Not to mention that the loss has been quite great to me. I cannot sell my catering equipments since there is no one who wants to buy them during this Movement Control Order.

Now, my husband and I cannot afford the costs of looking after my mother in law anymore but unfortunately, there is no place or anyone else who can take care of her. We cannot afford renting the house for her anymore, or pay for the salary of the caregiver. In fact, they are all in arrears. We are all in a miserable situation now.

I really need some quick and generous donations so I can continue taking care of my mother in law - for her daily expenses and to pay off her house rental and caretaker salary arrears and also for more months to come. I also want to buy her a proper hospital bed, new clothes and better medical aids. I also hope to raise some money to start up a new frozen food business. I have not been successful in getting any bank loan to start a new business now because of my age. I hope with my new business, I can continue looking after my mother in law on my own again. And not just stopping at that, I want to 'expand' this extra house that I have to rent for my mother in law to become a proper charity home for the elders in need. May God fulfil my wish.

In gratitude,

Ismaiza