This is my Mother's Story:
My Mom have always been the type of person who helps everyone in need. A selfless person. Someone who help other people even though she's being duped. She always turn the other cheek and easily forgive and forgets people who hurt her and that is something that I truly love about her.
Back when I was seven years old in 2001 my Mom went off overseas to find a job that can support me and my older sister. School tuition fees, food on the table, and electricity. The first year she came back everything wasn't really going according to her plan. A friend who was helping her get visa run off of her money. She was devastated. There was no one who we could turn to. No one in our relatives are willing to help out. My Dad wasn't really much of a help as he had no job and was not really looking on how he could help out. He was basically living off of my Mother's money.
Defeated. After some months, she went off with her tourist visa to travel and find work in S. Korea again. Fortunately, she found a way to find money overseas. She started teaching English as a tutor. She proudly sent off money for us for school and food. But never came back, she said that no one will take care of us if she comes back. So, for years and years she stayed and got different jobs there while hiding from officers to get deported.
Everything was doing great after awhile, when students kept popping up for more classes but when our home was foreclosed by the bank. We started living off rent houses while my mom kept sending money to pay for debts my dad took off and stayed with her Sister while Me and my sister was forced to live by ourselves, I was 13. Another set of bills to pay was added to our never ending bills.
Several years have passed, year 2010 I've come to accept that my Mom was never going home. (Since technically we don't have a home. Not anymore.) She said that if she come home there wouldn't be any food on our table, a roof above our heads, and finished school.
The first few years in High school was rough, renting out a house. I was the financer in the family. So I had the responsibility to make sure that we pay the rent monthly on time and just think of a way on how I can squeeze in a meal a day for me and my Sister. I remember experienced eating spoiled food just to get by, sometimes some noodles, but most of the times I didn't eat at all for a day or two. It was rough, but slowly and surely my Mom started sending higher money for our budget while me and my Sister started working.
Year 2017, we were nicely living off in a loft in the city. My mom still sending budget for me and my sister while I worked and still attending school on and off each semester.
Fast forward to November 2018, my Mom (53 years old) started complaining about her stomach aching whenever its cold but not often. It was manageable.
December 2018, the ache was constant almost unbearable that she had to sleep it off most of the times, specially when she is stressed.
Some months before March 22, 2019 she finally told us that she was visiting several doctors to check up what was wrong with her. No one was able to tell what was wrong. She had gone through many check ups, tests, and 3 Doctors. When the last Doctor finally found what was wrong. It broke our world.
September 9, 2019. The Doctor my Mom was seeing finally emailed me what the finding was,
I am your mother's doctor. (Dr. Chang)
I'm sorry for the late contact and please understand that my English is poor. (To be honest, I'm getting help from Google Translator…)
She was diagnosed with metastatic gastric cancer in May. Because of the size of the cancer and its metastases to other organs, surgery is not possible, since May 27, 2019, she has been treated with anticancer drugs every two weeks.
Currently, she has been treated every three weeks because of side effects called leukopenia. (from 4th cycles)
To determine the patient's cancer condition, CT was taken after treatment with the third and sixth anticancer drugs. Since no new lesions or cancer size is increasing, the same anticancer drug will be treated from today.The size of the cancer has not changed much, but fortunately, her abdominal pain caused by the cancer has decreased, and there is no problem with eating. Above all, cancer markers are decreasing. This is a positive sign.
However, the current anti-cancer drugs are effective, so you can have a good period of time.
….Next mention is an important story and I want to tell you.
Metastatic gastric cancer has an average survival rate of about one year. Your mother is not necessarily so, but she won't deviate much from this period. Now that the anticancer drug is listening well, there are a few more drugs to use after the anticancer drug is stopped, but one day it will get worse.
I tell you these stories when you are in good condition because you don't have time with your family.
Maybe these times are the best of the rest of your patients. (I guess 4-5 months periods)
Therefore, it may be necessary for family members to think about what plans to spend with this information.
There are many concerns about whether it will be better for you to receive treatment in Korea until it is time to stop chemotherapy or to continue treatment in the Philippines to have time with your family.
I think this email is so short that you may not have answered all your questions
We'll email you to share these concerns, and please let me know if you have any questions."
The moment I saw this email, my head turned numb and asked God, "why my Mom?"
It has been almost a decade that I haven't seen her face to face. Now she has so little time. I was not able to give back the things that she gave up for me and my sister to live normally. There are many things I wished I could turn back the time. Things that I regret. Now, all I can do is sit and wait.
My dad left us alone for i don't know years now. My Sister just got a kid, thus, all her money is budgeted in her own family. While, me. I have a 25,000 PH peso (435 USD) a month job with no savings. Monthly bills because of rent and an on-going investment made by Mom that I took over to pay for.
MY MOM HAVE BEEN LIVING ALONE FOR 19 YEARS OVERSEAS, HIDING FROM GETTING DEPORTED, PAY ALL OF OUR DEBTS, DID NOT SAVE ANY MONEY FOR HER AS SHE IMMEDIATELY GIVE US ALL HER SALARY, FOUND OUT SHE WAS SICK AND HAVE CANCER, DID NOT MENTION TO US THAT SHE WAS THAT SICK, ONLY TO FIND OUT THAT SHE IS GOING THROUGH CHEMOTHERAPHY ALONE, BUT STILL MANAGES TO HAVE CHEMOTHERAPHY SESSION IN THE MORNING WHILE GOING OFF TO WORK IN THE EVENING BECAUSE OF US AND FINALLY SETTLING FOR AN INTRA BOTTLE THAT SHE BADLY NEEDED BECAUSE SHE SAID IT HELPS HER MORE THAN CHEMOTHERAPHY---BUT I KNOW THAT'S NOT TRUE, SHE JUST DON'T WANT TO BE A BURDEN.
I just don't know what to do anymore. My mom now insists that she would like to stop chemotheraphy because the Doctors said that they will start giving her large doses because the Cancer is spreading. Instead of monthly chemo sessions they will be on a weekly basis starting February 2020.
Now, my mom decided that if she will do chemo every week she will just go back home and drink Intra (Some Natural/organic drink known to fight off cancer cells) and just go back home and wait until the sun goes down on the shore.
Although she said that she will start drinking Intra as a substitute for her chemotheraphy as she claims that it helps her more tha chemotheraphy. I only think that she only says that because she gave up on Chemotheraphy. As she said its hard and tiring when you are doing chemotheraphy.
To tell the truth, I don't know if posting this is going to help or get her deported. But one thing is for sure...
I JUST WANT TO SEE MY MOM AND SPEND TIME WITH HER ATLEAST UNTIL WE SAY GOODBYE.
IF YOU WISH TO HELP MY MOM, I ONLY ACTUALLY JUST WANT TO RAISE ENOUGH MONEY FOR HER TO GET INTRA BOTTLES THAT COULD LAST UP TO A YEAR.
AN INTRA BOTTLE HERE IN THE PHILIPPINES COSTS 1,800 PHP (35.54 USD)
IF I COULD RAISE 133,200 PHP (2,629USD) FOR MY MOM FOR HER INTRA BOTTLE THAT CAN EASE HER PAIN GOOD FOR A YEAR.
IT MAY GIVE ME SOME MORE TIME TO EARN MY WAY FOR A TICKET TO VISIT HER SOMETIME THIS YEAR.
BECAUSE OF MY FINANCIAL SITUATION, THIS IS THE ONLY THING I COULD DO TO HELP MY MOM.
NOW, I KNOW THE WORLD IS A MESS THIS 2020 BUT I AM STILL HOPING THAT SOMEONE CAN SEE, READ, AND HAVE SOME BLESS MY MOM.
I WOULD LIKE TO PERSONALLY THANK YOU IN ADVANCE. YOU ARE A HERO TO ME