We are sorry for the high amount of money we put. We don't know how much we need.
I am diagnosed with major depressive disorder, anxiety, and trauma - the same as my girlfriend, Jen. In addition, I am undergoing treatment for suspected brain damage and heart disease. Jen has had an untreated ulcer for six months.
I am in tremendous pain every second of everyday, and spend most of my day motionless in bed. I have been forced to cry and scream until I fall asleep, every night for months. My heart is on fire - not the good kind of fire and I feel like my flesh is getting torn right off my bones. I am forgetful and confused most of the day, and I need thirty times the strength to do all the things I used to do. I wake up three to six times every night just to urinate. I have rarely had a good night's sleep in the past five years.
I was a martial arts instructor, a writer, a researcher, very well-read. After I got the brain injury, I knew nothing. I was like an old man with Alzheimer's. I even forgot my own name at one point. Most of the knowledge and skills I worked hard for for years hasn't returned.
I hope my words get your sympathy.
It was also because of the brain damage that I could not comprehend how to make a fundraiser on my own. I was to make a fundraiser for my family but my parents, who let me stay in their house, did not allow it. They also did not allow me to seek legal help, fearing it would cause them shame. I do not know why.Jen complains a lot less, but has been unable to hold a job because the depression took a toll on her productivity. She also has been living with an ulcer for half a year because of starvation. She has also been out of work for months - both of us have no more money left, and have relied on the generosity of my parents - but they themselves are running out.
We've endured so much trauma as a couple in the past years - from having to fear for our lives because of a criminal organization we were in a legal battle, (whom we are no longer seeking justice against, we have given up, as much as it hurts) to being unable to breathe everyday for a full year because of our chain-smoking and violent neighbors, whom the local government could do nothing about,
To our dog getting mauled half to death by our neighbor's dogs and having to clean her open wounds several times a day for two months, all while she cried and screamed because she was not allowed anesthesia. She was given surgery without anesthesia, too. We spent more than 20,000 PHP of our own money on this - none of which our neighbors paid us for. The whole time, we were unable to work because of the trauma.
To our house getting robbed - 40,000 PHP worth of property we haven't been able to get back. None of which we have achieved justice for, none of which we have recovered from emotionally. Throughout all of those traumas, we had to work and pay our own bills, and could not afford treatment. But we fought for our survival.
I also plan on making separate fundraisers after the lockdown so we could get legal help for those matters, and also because we need money for food and rent - as Jen and I will need to move to a new place. Right now, all I know is we need treatment. I don't know how much it will take, and I'm willing to receive as much as the world is willing to give.
It took me 5 hours to write this. I want nothing more than for it to take 15 minutes like it does for normal people, so we can live, laugh, and work like normal people again.
Please help us.