I have been with my girlfriend since 2007, we both know each others in college. Everytime when we did save our money, something will happened and we lost our saving. I worked at oversea before but stopped after my father got sick, spend all the money but he passed away. Then, she tried to open food business full time together with her brother but suddenly her brother got sick too and passed away before even starting. Without her brother helping and her sister studying, she struggling to manage the business and trying to find a new job for few months before she start working again, her saving spent for business and have a lot of debt pending while she is jobless, until now still unstable. While she is jobless, Im the one who supported her and while saving some. Then me too decided to resign and do the cleaning services business with all my saving. For starting, its quite good until recently i got an injury at my back that prevent me to do the cleaning at small space that need me to squatting. The damaged is quite bad as im not able to stand up for few days. Make it worse, my insurances didnt cover my hospital expenses without explaination (this still in investigation), so i did check out from hospital early and recovering at home. Now, im fit to work but cant continue my business anymore as im still struggling to squatting. Looking for a job for a few months, my debt is expanding, and finally i got a job with very low salary than before. As our ages already 30++, im become worried about our future and relationships, im afraid we both give up with our life as many thing happened (some of it too personal to discuss it here). Im planning to get the money, spend some for our wedding and the balance i will help who need it and some for our expenses as we decided to get married and go back to hometown to do small business together, as the living cost is cheaper but to saving for our marriage, it will take forever. Few times i feel want to give up with my life, even thinking to do something stupid. We dont mind to living poor, as long we can be together forever, for our religion, we cant do that if we not married.