Live Again

Hi, I'm Josh.

I've been in this country for four years now, and I always loved it here, its people, food and the diversity of culture, and people I meet every day. The essence of living is just overwhelming, when you finally see the most beautiful things you take for granted, feel the air brush against your hair, the sun's warm kisses, the pain I feel when I walk all day for too long, I am truly thankful for all those, even the jerks I meet every once in a while.

Some people take all those for granted,I don't.

Having to live with virtually nothing has really put me in a situation where I started appreciating even the very basic comfort of my bed, how cold or how warm my shower is, especially how good it feels to be under a roof when it's raining out. Don't get me wrong, I'm not homeless, I have more than what I need, but I was born into a home with terrible people, relatives whom have stolen from me, lied and treated badly and my parents are emotionally unattached folks, only supporting my financial needs but not my emotional needs which have turned me into this young adult who's depressed, questioning if I am loved, hence turning to strangers for attention and love I never got at home and casually losing will to live and move forward.

I have dreams, having my own home where sadness doesn't exist except in picking up doggy poo or running out of snacks is the kind of sadness felt, setting my own food business, a creative studio, writing a book about self-development to help those who are going through what I am going, being able to work in an agency and work my way up in the career ladder, help people in need. I can't start or do all that as long as I live in an unloving house, this isn't a home for me.

I've been thinking a lot about moving out but given the culture I was born into, type of parents I have, country and my status, it is a treacherous water I am trying to swim in. But going through a lot of stress in this house, feeling alone in a house where I live with three people, having a parent who's capable but... for some reason is emotionally incapable of feeling what I am going through, I'd rather swim those waters than lose hope and will for myself every day I spend it here.

I'm 21 years old, taking up Multi-Media Arts in college and life is a big part of my motivation and creativity and to have my life in this situation will extinguish whatever spark I have in me to continue. I'm planning to move out after college next year, start anew and forget and forgive people who have wronged me in this past 4 years living here, and I can't do it without getting a kickstart financially, to support my housing, basic needs and possibly school fees for a semester, all while I am trying to get a job to stand on my own feet.

Any kind of love, messages of support, with donation or not, would mean the world to me, it's not just money to fund my crazy endeavour that I need, it's also emotional support that would mean my life to me, knowing someone here cares. Thank you so much.

I'm planning to raise up to $5,000 to help support me for at least a year, housing needs, basic needs like food, shelter needs and most importantly to pay for my school. But for now, $2,000 will be a very, very big help.

In return, I want to create videos, little films showing how wonderful and simple life is that we all take for granted. However if I receive more than I asked for financially, money will be donated to Philippine Animal Welfare or PAWS, an organisation run by volunteers with big hearts, rescuing animals and also will be used to feed elderly folks who are homeless, which I do on my own when I have the money to.
if I receive way more than money I asked, I'll give you an artwork of mine, as my thank you. :)

I've never really asked help publicly but my situation has left me no choice if I want to live again

Thank you for reading this long message, thanks for your time,
Josh Garosha

(in case you want to get in touch, I'd be happy to have friends too: https://web.facebook.com/josh.bumcheeks