I am an almost 30 years old female from Romania. I work since I was 17, but I was all alone and I didn't succeed to make a smooth future for me. I still work around 15-16 hours a day, as a freelancer artist, to cover my basic spendings, meaning rent, food and utilities.
I had to quit college, because I didn't had money for exams, but I continue to read every single book or article that I find about my domain. I will continue to learn all my life, because I truly trust that knowledge is the only fortune that deserves our full interest.
I want to start some projects that will also help young artist around Eastern Europe and that will have an online store, events and many more.
My family is a classic in this case: my father was an alcoholic and my mother worked hard, but had to go in another country and left me here. I want to start my own family, but I don't want to make kids until I don't have what to offer to them, like I was, and I don't have time, since I'm working that much, to start a new relationship. Yet, this is my biggest dream and I hope I will solve this situation until is not too late.
Taking in consideration this long term situation, I often suffer from depressions, but I'm fighting them, since I can't allow myself to go to that life route. It's awful to wake up in the morning, wanted to start cry or just end all, but finding in your mind the power to keep going. Yet, I do this for a couple of years now, without medication, since this is killing my creativity and I can't afford this. This is why I want to write some books, when I will have time, maybe someone can learn from my experiences and I can help him or her. Until then, I keep selling my texts to everyone who needs them, on a couple of pence.
But these last few months I see how my job doesn't work anymore and I slowly get mental exhausted. This is why I decided, for the first time in my life, to ask for help. I can't do this alone anymore, I need a break. I need hope. I need to see something concrete in my life, not just cold, hunger, poverty and fake hopes. I need to start building a future - a secure one - and I need to gain time to make my own family and follow my art. I don't wan't to die alone, without leaving anything behind. I wan't to have time and resources to help others just like me and make my life count.
I still dream and wan't to change the world, as all of us wanted in our childhood, but I need some money to start a movement, and not just to fight for day to day living. I feel that my life and potential is wasted. Please, help me do the right thing.