This is the story of my life... At a young age of 9years old, being the youngest with four siblings, my parents decided to separate. Me and one of my sister was adopted by my aunt. My aunt's family clothed, fed and sent us to a good school. I never had the chance of having my own family and a home. As I was growing up I made some bad choices in life and made some mistakes which I felt remorsed. But I have to continue and move on with my life. I was still young when I started my own family. In 2001, I gave birth in a normal delivery to my first born son. After a 6 years gap, I was pregnant again, I thought that this will be okay just like my first but it was not. When I was about to deliver my baby my life was at stake because I suffered from a Severe Pre-Eclampsia. I had CS section delivery and my baby girl was very okay, normal and no complications. In 2011, it was never planned and I was pregnant again. I took really care of myself during those period but when I reached 7 months I was hospitalized because my high blood pressure really shoot up and was admitted for 3 days and closed monitoring of my baby. I was on my eight months, before my scheduled pre-natal follow up, I was at worked and just like a normal work day but then when I was having lunch, I felt that there was no movement in my tummy. I stayed calm and waited for some time to feel any kicks from my baby. So I rushed myself alone to the hospital and was checked by my ob-gyne. She placed the doppler on top of my tummy and circled it around and did everything with all the machines and unfortunately heard nothing. No heartbeat at all. I felt devastated as if my heart was torn into pieces. She asked me to call my husband and let him know what happened. As soon as my husband answered my call, I started to 😢 cry. I cannot speak straight and went off crying and crying a lot. He does not even understand what I was trying to tell him so my doctor asked me to hand her the phone and explained to him what is all about. That night I was admitted, the next day I was scheduled for an ultrasound for proper documentations to pronounced that I have lost my baby and waited for my CS operation. I delivered him but was not able to see him, I was still at the hospital when they buried my baby. We named our angel Ezekiel Jeremiah on December 18, 2011. I cried a lot during my maternity leave, Christmas Day came by then New Year, it was so painful and heart breaking and even asked God why it all happened to me. Have I done something bad to be punished like this? I said to myself I still have two beautiful children and i have to move on and continue living. And so I did. By 2016, this year was so hard for me... January 2016, I never expected to get pregnant again. I had flashbacks of what happened to me from my last pregnancy. I was so scared so I really took care of myself. I managed to maintain a normal blood pressure but two weeks before my scheduled due date. I was at work when something really bad happened to me. They had to narrate it all to me because I have no knowledge of what occured. I was at my work place on a weekend fixing all the documents I have to endorse to my officemate who's going to fill in during my maternity leave. One of the roving guards in our office saw me laying on the floor covered with my own blood and unconscious. I was just wearing a shirt and leggings.They immediately called an ambulance, the guards informed the medics that I was pregnant, they took off my undergarment and found my baby with no signs of life. I unconsciously delivered my baby. They rushed me to the nearest hospital and there I was. I was visited my coworkers and family but never saw them coming because for two days I was still unconscious. The doctor have spoken to my husband that I needed to wake up by this specific date and time and if I wake up he must be ready because I might wake up and end up just like a vegetable and make it and be normal again so he was asked to prepare himself and my family. Friends and family were all very supportive during those times. They asked for a prayer brigade using social media, they offered healing prayer requests during Sunday Mass. I know that God really loves me unconditionally because He granted me another ordeal and surpassed it. After two days of sleeping or maybe in a coma state I started to hear a lot of babies crying and then it went on and on. But I cannot see anything... I tried to open up my eyes, but all I can see is white as in plain white (it was not clouds but it's just white?) I tried opening and closing my eyes for 5 time maybe as far as I can remember. I think a doctor saw me opening my eyes, she talked to me. I knew she was beside me because I can hear near at me... She was asking me if I know that I was in the hospital and gave birth and I said I cannot see and I don't know what happened. She told me to just stay calm and later on my sight will come back soon. So I rested and after some time I gained my eyesight but still a bit lost of what was going on I just know that I am confined in the hospital. Bits by bits I started to ask where is my baby because I know I was pregnant and then they had to tell me... Again I cried, knowing I lost again another baby boy. Felt hopeless and weak. They named him John Gregory, buried him while I was still unconscious and sadly I never had the chance to see him even in a picture because it was my father in law who attended to it and he does not have any camera phone while my husband was with in the hospital but only my brother saw my baby and told me that my baby looks like my daughter and that made me cried so much... I was confined in a government hospital for more than a week, i was closely monitored because of the high risk pregnancy... I was with other mommies who gave birth. Their babies were brought to them. And for me I have no baby, it's just me, but I was able to breastfeed two different babies because the mothers has no milk yet of their own and mine was just dripping down my clothes but no one to feed. It made me so happy that I was able to do that when I was still inside. The joy of breastfeeding a baby even if it was not my own child. I felt happiness that time... But then when I came home and saw all the baby stuff I have, I was again feeling 😭😭😭 sad. But I know I needed to be strong because I still have my two kids with me. It was time for me to get back to work. I reported from work then after 3 days working I started to feel pain in my lower right abdomen up to my back. The pain was excruciating and I cannot move and even stand up. So very painful that I was literally crying because of so much pain and need a hospital. Only after two months from an unfortunate pregnancy, I was again hospitalized, from my ultrasound it was found that I have multiple cholelithiasis with dilated bile duct. I needed an immediate open cholecystectomy with CBDE (common bile duct exploration) operation and I went through. I thought after that I am going to be fine... I was financially drained, I never expected that it would cost me nearly 2hundred thousand. I asked for donations and help from family and friends so I was able to pay my hospital bill. And only after a month it was December I started to feel pain again from where I was operated, I went to a government hospital and found out that there where still few small gallstones inside and needed another operation which was ERCP (ENDOSCOPIC RETROGRADE CHOLANGIO-PANCREATOGRAPHY). Wherein they have to put the stent inside my pancreas to flush out the remaining stones. I was told to be back after 6 months to undergo second ERCP to remove the stent they placed. On new years day I was discharged from the hospital and thankful I was able to spent the New Year with my family. I reported back to work after two months and continue living. After 3years I have not returned to my surgeon and I have checked myself this month and told me that I should undergo this time because it is a foreign object inside my body and should be removed. But I am not financially ready for this and I am seeking help to anybody who can help me to raise a fund for my second operation. I am sharing my story because I value my life for my children but I still doesn't have any capabilities to afford my own operation. I dont want you to be pity on me but I guess in this way it would help me a lot. I will be forever be grateful for those who are willing to help me. I know that God loves all of us specially me because of all the hardships I have encountered and still manage to stand up and be with my family. I will use your donations for my operation.