I have a neurotransmitter metabolism disorder and borderline personality disorder.
Ten years ago I got severely burned out due to work, as I’ve been working since age 17, which caused the progress of the disorder. That went with 8 years of psychotherapy, seeking for the right treatment and regimen, neurological examinations, endless hospital visits. That resulted in specialists finding the right treatment for me only in 2019.
But I went into remission, as the side effect of being overweight.
And yet with all that hope in hands, I went to my favourite place - Vilnius, to study to become a photographer. A dream come true, as I never got to get a college degree, as I began working right after graduation.
I moved to Vilnius a month and a half before the pandemic lockdown in the EU. That hindered the prospect of any work, for me to sustain myself.
I did not expect such a turn about, so it hurt me both psychologically and financially.
My therapy and medicine consumes more than 500 euros a month, then there’s the costs of rent, food, expenses for daily necessities… Which adds up anxiety to my already shattered health.
For more than a year I had no chance of income, and it remains likewise. All the plans I had fell apart in front of me. Everything was in lockdown and sheer idea of working as a photographer was out of the question.
Therefore I focused more on my studies. There began the Lithuanian language, then I added college (Photography studies that continued on) and I went for additional evening classes online, which covered video creation, editing, sound production, scriptwriting and art.
As such, I managed to land a small job, part-time student videographer, but even the pay I get barely covers my rent and medical treatment. Then there’s still the payments for education, courses and the pressuring need for proper equipment. As I do take my goal of being videographer and photographer seriously - having teachers say that I have great potential keeps me going.
This summer my condition began to deteriorate, I’m seeing a therapist, having meds but it’s not helping. In the autumn, due to getting worse, I had to quit my job.
I was burned out from stress due to the pandemic and medicating and therapy almost stopped working.
Right now I’m also heavily depressed. I visit a therapist twice a week. But there’s not much to get better.
Therapists say that I need a full body check-up, and no less than 6 months of recovery. My depression is genetic, therefore solving this includes a therapist, psychotherapist and other doctors.
And now after 3 vaccinations, I got sick with a new corona variation, which damaged my physical and mental health.
For me to finish studies I need 7,000.00 euros, with 3,500.00 for academic year.
And therapy that costs around 500.00 euros a month.
What I earn barely keeps me with pay of rent, food and bills.
And then there’s the need for professional equipment that would greatly help - professional camera BlackMagic, among other things.
Sadly, I can’t manage alone with this list of expenses.
And my dear friends, although they help, can’t do much either, due to their own financial struggles. (No, I don’t have relatives, family… That’s a tough story)
Therefore I call upon your help.