Help me for feeling free and safe.

Hello, My name is Mete. I'm 24 years old and part of LGBTQ+. In my whole life, I wanted to be normal and ordinary like every other people. But for me, that was not an option. When I realized what I am, I felt ashamed and afraid. Being gay in a county which is the majority of people are Muslim makes you feel mentally ill and unsafe. Even though I respect every religion when everyone tells you that you are damaged or have a mental illness, makes you feel invalidated and not safe.

I'm going to do my master's next year but after that, I want to live in a country where I can feel safe and validated but also be a productive citizen. I study French and I'll be a teacher in 3 years. But here, You need to be always "behave well." What I mean by this statement is, There is no freedom of speech and like I said being truly myself is not an option. If my co-workers and parents of my students find out, I would be fired immediately. I can live my life without my feelings and act out as I'm straight, but admitting every pressure and this sick society's perception, I wouldn't be able to be myself and productive. That's why I need your guys to help to connect with the authorities and pay the lawyer's bills.

Every day we wake up and see that people of LGBTQ+ murdered or physically assaulted. It is so strange to see, other countries make you validated and safe. Even though I don't care what other people think about us, that makes us feel so bad and cause lots of mental problems. I want to feel safe. I want to get married. I want to have a child. But also I don't want to teach in an environment that anyone feels unsafe and captive. Being a fanatic makes you blind to other people's feelings and thoughts and I feel so sad to say that my country is not going to change or makes us feel civilized.

In my whole life, I was alone. My family doesn't understand what I had to go through. I don't blame them. Because acknowledging me means that they would be seen as problematic by society. When I felt problematic by society, that made me feel down and still does. So I can take the criticism but I don't want to make my family feel sad.

Thank you for visiting this page and reading my thoughts. I know that people are dying and I know that lots of people need help before I, so don't feel bad if you are not able to donate. But if you did, thank you for your donation.