Escaping torture to find my true love

Well, I never thought I would have to ask for help, but here I am.

Hello everyone, I would like to apologize for this selfish act that I am doing in writing this, but I would like to tell you my story and how I got here.

I am from Venezuela, I was born and raised there, however, just over two years ago I came to live in Chile, where I currently live. The situation in my home country is terrible so far, my family is composed only of my mother and sister, both refugees in different countries, so I can't ask them for help.

My story begins when I met a person whom I fell madly in love with, I had never seen him in person, but still his company was what I most wanted in the world at the time. Some time passed since I met him, the situation in my country became increasingly dangerous, I remember that they wanted to close all the borders of the country, I was terrified, so with what little I had, I sold my things and my apartment to buy in what would be an expensive ticket there. With much effort and risking so much for pressure and love, I decided to go to Chile, on August 14, I was not at all prepared, I had just turned twenty and had already sold everything to believe in someone. Indeed, the political threats about border closures bothered the airlines, forcing me to travel to Colombia by bus to take the flight. I arrived in Chile, everything was fine, as I expected, it was the most romantic moment I could have felt, unfortunately it was also the last.

It has been two years since I arrived here, I live in the south, a small town called Villarrica there is not much to see around here although it is incredibly touristy. However, as cozy as the place is, since I arrived where I am, all the love I had had vanished, that person I fell in love with was already sleeping with others while I took care of papers for my residence, insulting me and humiliating me subtly when I complained about it. I thought "I can live with it, after all, it's good to me" was my first relationship, I had never felt someone's appreciation, and his, despite being in such a cruel way, made me feel partly loved. His infidelities were increasing, I already knew that his interest in me was nil, at the beginning he tried to be sweet and fix his mistakes, but unfortunately they were only words. I could not go to work, at first he was afraid that I would "take revenge" on him being with other men, that was never my intention, I was forced to marry him because of the pressure of not being deported back to my country, which every it was getting worse and worse.

Relegated to be lying in a bed without the possibility of moving forward, seeing that the future I tried to form died along with my self-esteem and desire to continue, he began to take advantage of this, his insults escalated more and more and he managed to sink me so much that I could no longer recognize myself, when I always felt strong, independent, positive, now I was just there, watching the days go by, fearing not to talk so as not to worry my already troubled family.

Until one day, already dead inside, without encouragement to move on, I met someone, such a nice guy, I decided to talk to him for a while. The days passed and each time our ties were bigger, it turned out that we not only had a lot in common, no, we were soul mates, I had never felt love in this way, to such an extent that my heart was hitting my chest hard screaming "you must do this, you need help" when I thought about writing this. This guy is from Mexico, a little far from where I am, however his presence alone managed to inspire me, I felt like when you die of thirst and drink fresh water, that vitality in the body, I became myself again. He studied biochemistry, unfortunately due to economic misfortune and family problems he had to leave this semester aside, so we devised a plan, we would save money to buy a ticket and rent a small place for us, the cost there was not much, so I just had to strive to get the ticket and we would be fine.

Several problems began to arise, my visa is about to expire in December, I need to leave as soon as possible and the only place I can go to is Venezuela, where I don't want to go at all, I would be alone and with nothing, since I lost everything To come here, I have no more than 80 dollars in my pocket and that would only serve for the bus ticket to the airport, the option of staying here terrifies me, since the abuses began to be “accidentally” physical too, it has not been very frequent, but I am very afraid to think about what else can happen, it is obvious to clarify that he will not do anything to help me to go, and for more pressure, the guy I like went to the hospital today to be told he has the blood pressure high, has not given him a heart attack by miracle, apart from being thrown throughout the day at home for no real reason.

Long story short, my goal is to try to get out of here, the nerves that cause my boy anxiety are the abuses that I suffer daily, I really don't mind holding anything in order to see him happy, but this affects his health, I really want to give him a better life, I want us to have a better life together, but I'm running out of alternatives, I want him to study and be happy, that's why I need your help, I would really appreciate any gesture of affection on your part, anything to try to get out of this hole and start a new life with who I really love, someone who has proven to be a wonderful person, this time I will not depend on an abuser and can move on. Please, I know it can be silly, but a penny could change my life.

Thank you all for reading me, I am César Reyes and I am currently 22 years old.

Pd: Sorry for my bad English, I'm still learning.