Hello Friends,

We have only 2 days left here on our fundraiser. I’d like to share an update on where we are and what’s going on. We are very grateful for the generous contributions we have received here, and we do still need more help, so I will continue to post and ask you to support us if you can!

September was full with many court dates, and now we have a break. The international proceedings have been put on hold as we attempt to come to an agreement here in the US. Nothing is settled, but I am hopeful that we will be able to reach a resolution and put the stress and strain of legal proceedings behind us by the end of the year. Personally, I’m happy to see so much growth and healing in myself through this process, but I’m also impatient for it to be over. Its exhausting, and I can see that no matter who “wins,” we all lose through this fighting. Our time, our energy, our money, our joy. Our precious daily life. I’m thankful for the years of yoga and meditation practices which are supporting me in being comfortable with the uncomfortable, inside and out, through this process. But still, part of the reason I haven’t been promoting this fundraiser recently is that I simply haven’t had the energy to give to it. I feel depleted and sensitive after the intensity of the September proceedings and some other recent events, and as I move through this I have been reserving my energy for maintaining a comfortable, stabile, and loving environment for Siam, caring for myself, and for giving what I can in the few yoga classes I am teaching here. We can only do so much.

Last week I lost a dear friend to suicide. This is heartbreaking, and I now feel a deep compassion and empathy for anyone who has lost a loved one this way. This news hit me really hard, not only for the loss of my oldest girlfriend, but also bringing a profound realization of how much loss I have experienced this year. It has cost us so dearly to go through this experience and to try to find safety and support coming out of it. Many blessings are here for us daily, and I do see and appreciate them so much. But there have been enormous losses too. My close friend was going through a challenging time and I wish I had been more present to better support her. She pulled into herself, but with everything I am going through, I haven’t had much more to give to others either. I take care of my son, I continue to heal myself, and I deal with the complicated legal processes. I am teaching a bit, and I work to remain patient as I accept the reality of this present moment and wait for legal issues to be resolved, for emotional wounds to be healed, and for the freedom to begin to rebuild our life in a new and better way. I was too consumed these past months with getting through my own struggles to give my friend the support I would have liked to have given her. Now I suddenly find I will never have that chance again. Perhaps it can never be said or heard too many times: seize this day, my friends, and care for the people you love while you have the chance... even when it feels you don't have much to give. I now know I could find so much more to give her if she were here another day.

On a very positive note, my experiences have helped me to finally realize what cause I will support when I have my own business one day: I will offer programs to honor and empower women and girls. Those of you who have known me a long time know my dream of opening a yoga center also included the idea to create a nonprofit, or at least, to give a substantial part of our proceeds back to supporting the needs of our community in some way. I now know where I want to focus on helping, and I hope I will be able to help to make a positive change toward breaking the cycles of domestic violence and abuse, and making our world a safer happier place. Silver linings :)

Our legal fees still exceed the money we have raised here so far, and we willl have more to come. Would you please continue to donate or share our story to help us meet our needs, so we can get through this time and begin to build our new life and next offering? Every single contribution truly helps and is so greatly appreciated!!!

Thank you Friends!

Love Shelley & Siam xo