I know there are so many others that have been thru and are going thru hard times.  The economy hasn't been good to many of us here lately.  I never thought I'd have to be in this type of situation, especially more than once.  It's hard to ask for help, but it is life and you have to be humble.  But, you often wonder why "you" are the one that has to struggle to make ends meet or go thru horrible experiences in life.  You wonder why "you" have to be tested so many times in life.  They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, but often times I wonder will this be the last test?  Will this be the test that breaks me down completely?  Or will I make it just like all the other times?

I have been thru a lot in life, so let me share a little story of my life.  And just so you know this is probably one of the times in my life I have asked for help and also one of the times where I fear that I will be homeless again.

I grew up in a small town in Georgia.  I lived in the same house my entire life (well until I was 16).  We were not poor (my parents never received food stamps, welfare, etc), but we were not rich, we had what we needed.  My parents never carried credit cards and paid everything in cash.  Dad always worked and mom took care of the home.  They were married 36 years.  I had a good childhood.  My parents made sure I didn't go without.  We took a vacation for one week every summer down to FL and had lot's of fun.  I have many great memories.  I was a typical all american kid growing up, had never been in trouble at school or outside of school, always made honor roll, had high hopes for my life, had dreams and goals, and was even going to graduate high school a year early.  I was stoked!!  I was so ready for college and to move on and get on with life.  BUT that all changed one day.  In Dec. 1995 it all changed.  It was Monday the 18th (had just got out of school that Friday for the Christmas holidays) exactly one week before Christmas and I awoke to the sound of a gun shot, that sound would change my life and haunt me forever.  My dad had shot and killed my mother.  I immediately ran to see what happened and there my mama sat with her hands over her heart (I could just see a little blood coming out from around them) and she said "baby he shot me call the police".  I looked at my dad as he hold the smoking gun and watched him put it to my head at this point the adrenaline must have kicked in because I ran and hid in my room and called 911.  My dad proceeded out of the house and tried to shoot me thru my bedroom window and when police arrived he tried shooting them.  They shot him, but he survived and is now spending the rest of his life in prison.  As we wait for the ambulance I just remember standing in the hallway crying and begging "please help my mama, please" and as I did, she said my name and then passed away.  I had to endure weeks of a trial where I helped put my daddy in prison because I was key witness.  The news stations were all over this, they were even outside of our house before they could remove my moms body.  They filmed police bringing me from the house crying and showed it on the news top stories for several days.  I went back to school after the holidays, but it proved to be too much for me to handle so I quit.  I did go back and get my GED several months later but that was it.  All of my dreams were crushed because I now had to work because I lost my mom, my dad, my home, everything I ever knew was gone just like that.  I was almost 17 at the time so I was an adult in everyones eyes.

I continued on, working 2 and 3 jobs at a time and taking care of myself.  I did well for a while, then had things happen and was out of work and was homeless and hungry.  I went thru that for a while and finally managed a job again and got back on my feet.  So, this is not my first time being down and out, it's just this time I'm choosing to reach out to strangers to possibly help.  I don't have any family, I haven't spoken to any of them in years because they chose to ignore me when everything happened so I have always been on my own since then.  

I guess Im sharing this one because I want people to know that I am real, two because I want others to know that no matter what you endure in life you have got to be strong if you can and try whatever means there is to get back up even if it means sucking up your pride and ask for help.

I (we) worked hard to get back on my feet this last time (it was a little easier because i had my fiancee) and we were not prepared for his dads death and all of the expenses that came along with it, though we did not hesitate to give up all that we had worked for to come back and take care of him and we don't regret it.  But no one wants to be without a ride (atleast if you have a car and are homeless its a little easier than no car and being homeless) or a home, but heck, we have no family and no where to turn this time, so what do you do?  Well, we are still holding on to a little hope that this works and that we get the donations possible to get our car fixed.  We are down to the last couple of days worth of food here at the house and I'm trying to keep holding on to some hope that we won't lose everything, but things aren't looking up for us right now, so I must prepare for the worse to happen.

And if we do not get the donations we need, I still want to thank the few of you that have donated what you could, it hasn't gone unnoticed and we still sincerely appreciate the kind gesture you have made.

Thank you for taking the time to read my long story.  I hope all of you are blessed!!!