Hi my name is Amanda Caton. I am 25 yrs old and have been diagnosed with Stage 2 Endometriosis with Stage 4 cysts and I have infertility issues. My fiance, Ray, and I have been trying to conceive for 5 yrs now and have had no luck. I recently had surgery in Jan of this year... but it did not truly help anything. I am in severe pain every day. I have been unable to afford to go to the doctor to further go any other medical treatment for the pain and/or the infertility. Ray and I have have no children, and want so desparately to be parents. Whether they be biological or adopted, it would be a dream come true for us both. It has been a very hard battle, fighting this incurable disease. I have had since I was 15 yrs old. Ray is currently the only one working at the time, I have become unable to hold down a normal job due to the pain and everything else that comes with the Endo. He has worked at UPS for over a year now as a Preloader and he has been taking care of us, our bills, my medications, our 7 rescued animals, and more. And he just can't do it alone anymore. We struggle tremendously. On top of that, we're getting married this October 12th, 2013 and we're having a hard time funding the wedding expenses and everything on top of it.
I have applied for SSI, was denied, and currently appealing it. But, we all know how long that could take. I just recently found out that I had another cyst that has ruptured, causing me even more pain. I can no longer afford pain medication or doctor visits and I am sufferring from it all. A part of me can somewhat "live" with the pains, but I cannot live with the fact that we may never be able to be parents... And we can't do anything else to help it. I want to go to the doctors and see other options we may have, if any, but cannot afford to do so.
I like to think Ray & I are good people and deserve good things. We deserve a normal life, but with Endometriosis, there is no such thing as a normal life... I guess I am just asking for some help... Help to pay our expenses, doctor visits, ect... A chance to be able to find some kind of comfort for my pain, and a chance to seek better medical options to be parents.
As I sit here and cry, I am embarrassed to ask for help from anyone, as I know times are hard for us all... But, I have truly exhausted all other meausres! I am beyond stressed and depressed. Anything, anyone can do to help will be more than appreciated!
Thank You so much for your time!
Here is one poem out of many, that I have written myself.
As I sit here and look up at the sky,
I can't help but to ask God why?
Why do I have to be sad, angry, scared, lost, lonely, and in pain everyday?
Why can't just one thing go my way?
Why do I look around and see so many happy faces?
Why does everyone else find strength in so many different places?
Why do I cry myself to sleep nearly every night?
Can't I just get one, "I wish I may, I wish I might?"
Don't you see, I am slipping away?
Can't you save me and help me stay?
Can't you show me how I am supposed to cope?
Don't you see, I am losing all my hope?
Am I just invisible to you?
Won't you put your healing hands upon me too?
Please God, show me the way...
Make a normal life for me and Ray.
Can't you help me, just maybe?
Cure me of my Endometriosis and give us our miracle baby?
Fight for me God, please make me a mother.
If you do, I'll never ask for another.
Give me the chance to make Ray a Dad,
A dream come true, that we thought we never had.
Fight for me God, close to you is where I need to stay,
Put your hands upon me and show me the way.
All I ask is that chance for me and Ray.
Written by Amanda Caton Copyright 2013