As a society we are rightly outraged by the separation of immigrant parents and children. That these children will suffer emotional wounds due to this separation, amidst such chaotic circumstances, is collectively, instinctively assumed. But where is the outrage—or even a drip of compassion—over the separation of mothers and babies in the case of adoption?"
If you've clicked on my campaign and you're here on purpose, with tears in my eye's, my plea is that you have a new understanding of a world wide practice that is somehow imbedded in our minds as a wonderful event, that belief is silently destroying family's and propagating a broken generation time and time again. Of these children affected, you will find them grow into addicts, sociopaths, killers and crooks. Trauma is the root of each despicable act, I think people should find some form of careful guarded sorrow and compassion to those we demonize immediately as monsters. Rarely ever is a person just born evil.
I hope you will endure the rest of my last desperate attempt to spare my son from a future as a hollowed out, confused young man.
"In reality, the younger the baby the more complicated the separation trauma may be, precisely because he or she doesn’t yet have the verbal skills, declarative memory or conceptual development to put words and descriptions and context to the “I’m dying” feelings of separation trauma. The infant or toddler doesn’t yet have the ability to differentiate the overwhelming terror sensations into “something happening to me” and… “this is me” categories. It all merges into the wee person’s sense of self. They are the trauma fire"
My beautiful baby boy is the love of my life.. I've dealt with depression, insecurity and hopelessness for years but every moment I've spent with my son's eyes locked onto mine has erased the empty person I used to be. I want to see the future now, I want to thrive and succeed for him and since July of 2020 I've led a silent battle against a few pieces of paper that only has my signature on it because 2 adults wanted a second child by any means necessary and ambushed every angle of my most vulnerable state. For 8 months I've tried endlessly to gain legal support to show the tarrant county family courts that a fraudulent, wrongful adoption has occured but every day, phone call, email, and outcry begging anyone to see the evidence and return my heart to me has been denied, and discouraged by family lawyers and adoption specialist. I learned recently that most of those lawyers will never advocate for a mother seeking to change her mind because if they do, families waiting to adopt wont want to hire them. Helping a grieving mother is FEARED to be career suicide, I felt in my most frantic instincts that the lawyers in service of fairness and righting wrongs were not extinct so my hunt didn't end... I know my case can be won with competent action, my situation is horribly unique in every way. I am not a guilty birth mom who changed her mind.
My mind was made for me when I was presented paperwork in a post, medicated child like stupor.
They sold themselves to us as the end of our agonizing desperate worries for our baby and the start of relief and rest.
I lived in a tent most of my pregnancy during the peak of hysteria of the covid-19 pandemic. I knew nothing about adoption, I only knew my situation wasn't improving, no charity's offered real assistance, no "shelters" were safe or logical to go to and absolutely no one wanted to hire an exhausted pregnant girl who clearly bathed in a sink before inquiring employment. We met this couple by accident who treated us like people, living beings with the same human rights as they had...which was something I hadn't experienced in a really long time... They talked to me every day, a friend of theirs put me in a hotel for 2 months where they could visit me a few times a week and we discussed at length how we would all raise my son together. I didn't contact an agency because I was told they would pay me and I didn't want money for letting my son live in someone else's home. I also wanted to prevent the family from losing money they could use for my boy. I trusted them to be unselfish, to take parenting pain with stride, absorb any hurt for the betterment of my sons mental health. I trusted them to be empathetic and kind, and when the woman constantly told me, that I wasn't losing my son, but gaining a family, I trusted it. But beyond my failure of instincts, is a tiny innocent brand new life who has to feel the aftermath of this successful con, every day. I have tried pleading with the mom to pay attention to the signs of stress my son displays and she only becomes irate and tells me I'm being disrespectful and insulting to her. The clear signals she ignores with ease include;
°Abnormal burst of sharp overexerted cries that resemble cries of physical pain
°He always sleeps holding his hands covering his face
°He has a resting frown on his face and it takes the AP's make extensive effort for them to get an uncertain kind of grin.
°Excessive hiccuping every day all day
° Always has tightly balled fist
°If they are holding him he is never still, always squirming and pushing away
°Hates car rides, hates not having visuals of care givers.
°Frantic disorganized actions while trying to play which becomes frustrating to himself.
°Expels gas like a full grown man
°When mother is frustrated with me she has handled him too rough. Watched her open palm the top of his head with force, simultaneously grasping him while shouting, "this is my son".
°sabotaging our visits by dressing him in single thin layers with no shoes in °47 degree weather because they demanded it had to be outside.
° "forgot" to pack him food at last visit and bought a freezing smoothie, then handed me a normal sized plastic spoon bigger than his mouth and told me I could feed him..
°The "mom" he felt pain or even knew when he and I were separated. Denying someone's trauma can be devastating to them.
All of his new or sustained cues of distress are visible yet ignored by the adoptive family, and used as an excuse to rid us from his life, their claim was that, "I'm hurting him by projecting my pain onto him and expecting him to fill a void that I HAVE."
How do I know having my son returned wouldn't damage him? Well he already showed me that outcome. Every time we had visits, the moment he sees me and the father he immediately has a true, genuine, sweet smile. He stares at us endlessly while giggling for no other reason other than his joy to see us cant be contained. We hold him close to us and his whole body melts in acceptance. He is so relieved that he drifts into sleep in the first hour in our arms during every visit. When he wakes up his reaction when his eyes open and he sees me is the best thing that I've ever been fortunate enough to have witnessed.. I need you, the reader, to think about that boy understand that we have all shared the unforgettable feeling of a moment of relief from a long term, paralyzing, painful situation.. Think of his developing mind that is inflicted and being stunted..why does an 8 month old baby have to fill the void of 2 grown adults facing infertility? They inadvertently place him with such complex emotions that his young body shouldn't be subjected to. The idea that babies don't know what is going on or that their emotions don't yet exist is misinformation and it's been overwhelmingly researched and proven that an infants emotions are strong and life long since they shape his sense of self and security.
"Research powerfully supports the idea that a newborn adoptee has a deep, bodymind knowledge that his original mother isn’t the same woman who’s holding and feeding and cooing at him. Many studies show that a newborn knows its mother and will work very hard to obtain her over anyone else."
The actions I have recorded that the adopting family used to take my son are predatory and each and every one of them fall into the laws definition of adoption fraud. I have recorded more than enough evidence of these intentional manipulations.. But still his adoption stands with validity. I knew every day, every time a lawyer turned me down that If I kept searching I would find legal help that hadn't sold their soul to adoption agency and finally, a legitimate recognized law firm practicing family law contacted me back after assessment and informed me that immediately following payment for retainer they will aggressively go after the decree and render it invalid. This is my last hope.. This is a family that could be resurrected, it's an innocent babies chance to be healed and restored so he won't have to feel an entity of loss as his. only reference of origin. I want to hear that sigh of relief he breathes every time I've had him reunited in my arms and raise him to be a real man with deep traits of humility and gratitude. My choice to involve the adoptive family was truly because I believed it was for his benefit, so when I'm once again his mother, the depth of sacrifices I would make for his happiness will never have any bounds.. If you've read this far, even if you can't donate, thank you for lending your heart and time hurting for my son and his grief. Needless to say, but if you can assist with any amount at all... The word hero just doesn't cut it. Tears are burning in my eyes just from imagining how I would even begin to express my gratitude for my son to finally be as an infant should be.. Just happy, blissfully unconcerned and happy.. The last time I kissed my baby boy was January 1st, the family has ignored me, the father, his uncles and grandparents pleas to see or talk to him. If your able, please help us get this fight to a court room so my homesick, beautiful boy can finally come home for good.
"This is not about guilt, and it is not about blame. It is about information. It is about knowing what really happened to you. That is what makes you sane."