As a young married couple you start dreaming together. What car you will drive, about buying your first house, the journeys you will take together, your future. You start dreaming about how many children you will one day have. Children in the plural...and never in your life do you see yourself sitting 8 years later trying to write a story to start up a GoGetFunding. But this is us...this is our story.
We met in 2006 as first year students in Theology. In 2007 I winked at Werner and what can I say...”die koeël was deur die kerk”. Only 2 months later he asked both our parents and we got engaged on my birthday, July 2008. In front of all our family and friends we promised to love each other forever on 12 March 2010.
At first we didn’t think of having children as we both just wanted to enjoy being a young married couple.
2012 we started talking about it and in 2013 we started trying to expand our family. If you ask me now...it feels like the years just flew by and in 2017 we realized that something is wrong. We went to see the gynecologist and one year later...still not one positive pregnancy test.
2018 August we decided we need to see the fertility specialist. We started testing and nothing could be found that would point out a problem. The dr suggested that we do an IUI. We had high hopes that this would be the answer.
October 2018 we did our first IUI and 12 days later we were ecstatic to see two little lines on our very first positive pregnancy test. We told everyone and celebrated the life that God has given us. It was an answer to our prayers. One week later...the dr told me that I am having a miscarriage. I was in utter shock and I couldn’t believe that this was happening.
Everyone around us were becoming parents...and we were getting ready for our second IUI.
December 2018 we got our second positive pregnancy test after IUI number 2 and to be honest...the joy we felt was very restricted this time around. We were pregnant for a full two days when I started to miscarry again.
We took a short break and went back for IUI number 3 in February 2019. Again a positive test. This time the excitement grew with every week that passed and we celebrated every small victory. But at our 6 week scan...I looked at the screen and I knew something was wrong...the gynecologist couldn’t see anything and told me to come back a week later. One week later I found myself being rushed into an emergency room as I was facing an ectopic pregnancy. The gynecologist removed my left tube...and I could feel our dream slipping away. I had to heal from a c section cut...but still had no baby.
I cried and mourned and then I was ready to try again. The dr started doing more tests and everything came back normal. We even did genetic testing and nothing could give us answers to why this was happening.
August 2019...IUI number 4. We got yet another positive pregnancy test and this time...I didn’t feel anything. We were numb. No joy, no excitement...nothing...and only a week after our positive test...I started to miscarry.
The dr did a hysteroscopy and more tests. Still no answers. I started feeling like people are pointing and laughing. I could see people wondering why we keep doing this and many started to ask why we don’t just adopt. It felt like others have given up on our behalf...and I wondered...shouldn’t we just give up?
November 2019 we went for our 5th IUI. December we got our 5th positive. This time we felt...THIS IS IT. It felt different. We made it to our 6 week scan and the dr saw a small gestational sac...I was worried but he didn’t seem worried at all. He told us to go for another scan one week later. Its then we realized that there was no growth. Two weeks later I was in extreme pain. I was rushed to hospital and turns out...I had another ectopic pregnancy with 2 little ones that attached in my left tube. The dr tried everything to save that tube...but it was not successful.
I woke up with the devastating news and I knew it was over.
One week later...I had a conversation with my dr and he informed us that IVF (In Vitro Fertilization) is our only option. We knew this...but the moment he said it...I knew we were at a dead end. Between us and possibly only one baby (not children in the plural...just one) was the amount of R60 000...and it felt like the wall of China between us and our dream and hearts desire to be parents.
And this is how we got to me...writing this!
God has put a fight in us...and even though people may think we are crazy....we are not ready to give up...and definitely not because of money. We are not going to give up on this desire God has placed in our hearts...because of money.
And thus...we are doing something we thought we would never do.
We are asking for help.
Werner & Lara