At the age of just 17 years old I was deployed to the small Scottish town of Lockerbie on the evening of 21st Dec 1988. None of us sent to help ever expected in our worst scenarios what we were faced with, a downed Boeing 747 passenger aircraft. On arrival the night sky was light up with fires everywhere, and the location was so surreal.By the time I left Lockerbie 3 days later I'd seen sights that no one should ever have to see, but I continued my life as if nothing bothered me. Little did I know that what I'd seen would eat away at me from inside, change my personality, have a huge adverse affect on my life, and cause me to be alone with my dog trying to seek some happiness. Depression, Anxiety, mood swings took their toll, and eventually everything came to a head. I was diagnosed with PTSD, started treatment therapies, filled with daily doses of medication, and losing a highly paid job in ICT.
Part of the problem is my inability to think rationally, just looking for an instant hit of happiness, and spending money to gain this feel good factor, almost like an illegal drug hit.
I'm now working for myself, Landscape Gardener, and thoroughly enjoying being my own boss. I sought financial help, and have now agreements with my credit card companies to have my balances and interest frozen, cards destroyed, and pay off this debt very slowly. The thought of this debt hanging over my head though is still a great worry and stress for me. Even just getting some of this cleared would be a great help, having it cleared would be a huge weight off my shoulders and allow me to fully concentrate on my recovery plan.
Thank you for any assistance you can provide.