Hi all, my name is Hannah I'm 18 and I hope to be going to University next year to study Economics.
The reason I'm here is because I've had a rough few years and I no longer want to be a financial burden on my parents when I go to university. I would consider myself to be a hard working person and I want to make something of myself. My favourite subject is Economics and this is the only thing I imagine myself at Uni doing. At GCSE I got 9 A*'s and 3 A's and I was proud of what I had achieved and what I could in the future.
However in the following year during my AS exams 2 very close family members died within a month of each other. It was devestating and my whole family network broke down, being what I thought was a strong person I didn't tell anyone how it really affected me. During my final year of A Levels it was incredibly hard to recover from mentally and emotionally, I shut down and distanced myself from friends and family, I felt completely alone in the world. They were some of the darkest days I have ever experienced, sometimes wishing I had never woken up. I had depression, but was in denial about it the whole time and this went undiagnosed for a year and a half overall. No one seemed to notice either I just told people I was tired or ill to avoid the real problem. I skipped classes, I quit up my job, I stopped going to see my friends and I gave up playing the Piano all because of depression. It encased my whole being and the only thing left I had to keep me going was that I had an offer from my dream Uni to study Economics. I was convinced if all I did all day everyday was study I would get in and finally be happy doing something I wanted to do and make my family proud. I had become so ill, stressed and anxious because of my depression it felt like I had been paralysed and my exams went as badly as they possibly could.
I got rejected from all the Universities I had applied to on results day and again I felt like I was going around in a vicious circle where everything was going wrong. It was a near death incident soon after which made me realise I needed to accept help, I finally got diagnosed with severe depression last year and have been recieving CBT and bereavement counselling alongside daily medication. I am halfway through recovery and I feel much better about life and I believe this whole experience has made me stronger.
All the while my parents have been with me every step of the way and now my head is clear I am ready to retake my A Level exams and recieve the results I know I can get. Thankfully my dream University gave me another chance and have offered me a conditional place on the Economics course for the upcoming academic year. I have had to move to a private specialised college which can provide for my needs and because I am not currently employable my parents have taken all of the financial burden of this. We are not a particularly well off family so they have worked hard to make sure I get the best tuition and help needed. I feel in debt to them and I could not possibly afford to repay them, it is unlikely I will get a good enough job when I'm a student to pay them back. Although they insist that they will support me this year and through my 3 years at Uni I just can't let this happen to them. Everyone recieves a £9000 student loan however the housing loan will not cover even half of the cost each year. Housing costs upwards of £5000 a year. All in all I will be left with more than £40,000 of debt to pay off after university which will only grow in interest and at the rate of inflation. I have always been a good saver and at the moment I have over £1,500 in premium bonds which I have saved over the years and I intend to use to start paying off my loan when I finish Uni. I don't want to start off my working life in debt or relying on my parents all I want is a fresh start and to look forward to the future. Thank you for taking the time to read this, and anyone who donates thank you for having faith in me