Unemployed, financial difficulties

I'm so scared, sad, depressed and lonely. I can't sleep and I get panic attacks everyday. I don't have anyone to talk to about my situation and sometimes I get suicidal thoughts, that's how bad my situation is. Dont worry, I could never actually go that far. I'm a fighter. They're just thoughts that I have when I don't see light at the end of the tunnel. I don't have anyone who could help me. This is my last chance of surviving. I have helped people around me financially and mentally through out my life eventhough my situation has often been worse than the ones I've helped. For the first time in my life I'm asking for help. I don't know what else to do but to ask help from you.

I come from a big poor family. I was molested as a child and bullied in school. I have struggled my life with a long term disease and depression. I have tried to cope with life eventhough it has been a struggle. I studied a masters degree in university for a better future. It has been five years after graduating and I have not gotten a job and it has put me in a really bad place financially.

I need money to pay my 20 000 bills. I can't get loan because of my financial situation. If I don't pay my bills I will loose everything and my situation will go from bad to worse and I will get a bad credit which makes life even harder.

If I get help to pay my bills my dream is to start a company to employ myself. I don't want to be in this situation anymore in my life where I'm depending on others help. My dream is also to have a family one day.

I also want to dedicate the rest of my life helping others. I promise each and everyone of you who helps me that I will help others after I have been helped. Please help me share my story online. Thank you so much for reading!