TRUST BETRAYED

This is me :-)

Well, I'm not the most beautiful thing in this picture, but as I like flowers so much, it's always nice to be surrounded by them...

...and what I like most are roses... yellow roses, blue roses, pink roses and red roses...

As many of you might know, each color is linked to a specific meaning: a yellow rose means jealousy, a blue rose means wisdom, a pink rose means affection, and a red rose means love...

This is a story about a huge wonderful red rose that I decided to keep locked in my heart... and the heart of a person is the most confortable, safe and warm place where to store the most important things for him... but it's the most vulnerable too... and the most dangerous if harmed...

It was October 2012... I had been suffering from depression for almost 10 years at that time... I kept on watering the big garden that is in my heart, hoping to see some flowers grow... but nothing happened till then... when suddenly from nowhere it started to grow a small pink rose... her name was Elena... she was a girl that lived here in Milan with her cousin and worked as cleaner in the company where I was employeed...

I was incredibly happy!!! It was a joy beyond words!!! Finally after so much time of darkness in my heart, it started to grow such a wonderful flower that made me feel really alive again after long time!!! I was so much enthusiastic and full of joy, and love and happiness, that I started to devote my life to making this rose grow in my heart more and more!!!

This girl was a young mother that was working here in Italy so that she could earn the money needed to keep alive her son, her four sisters and her mother...

Even if I had just a part-time job that made me earn around € 700/month, I used all the money that I earned in order to help this girl... I made a lot of efforts in order to help her, both phisically and economically... and in the meanwhile the pink rose that was growing inside my heart, turned to a red rose... and the friendship turned to love... we became engaged and i was fully devoting my life to make her happy...

I gifted her my food, my time, my money, my heart... everything I could do to make her happy and healthy, well I did...

A couple of months ago, when we had been happily engaged from more than 4 years, she told me that her former husband took her son with him and he told her that he could do that because they never filled for divorce (even if they broke up ages ago)... so she told me that she had to go back immediately to her homeland (Romania) in order to get a lawyer, file for divorce, take back her son, and buy a new home to her mother and her four sisters, because their previous apartment was owned by her former husband and he was going to send them away, leaving them homeless...

She told me that she needed around € 20.000 for all such things, but I had no money at that time... I barely was able to get some food for both of us, and to pay for the rent and the bills... so she asked for a loan to a bank and the bank agreed to give her the money only if I could guarantee for her loan and mortgage my apartment...

I agreed... and that was the time when the red rose inside my heart turned into a huge bunch of stingy thorns...

She has gone into her homeland and from then on she disappeared taking all money with her... she didn't pay for the first monthly payment and as I guaranteed for her loan, now the bank wants the whole amount of money from me otherwhise they will take my small apartment, that is everything I have now... and when I tried to get in touch with her I came to know that she's gone to Germany with a romanian boy in an unknown location and that now she is living there with him and the twenty thousand euros...

I'm trying to gather all the money that I can in order to refund the loan... I already sold my car, a lot of my personal belongings and my beloved guitar that it was the only thing that gave me some relief during the dark times of depression... Up to now I've been able to gather € 8.000 but they're not enough as the bank wants a full refund as soon as possible...

So I'm here to kindly ask all of you if you can help me to gather some more money so that I can refund the loan and start again to rebuild my life... even 1 euro would be really appreciated...

I'd like to reward in some ways all the people that will help me even if I really have nothing to offer beyond my eternal gratitude... so I decided to gift each backer with some of the songs that I composed as therapy against the depression and against all the demons that I was struggling with... maybe it's a small reward, but believe me, these songs mean a lot to me... they were the winning result of my daily battle against that evil foe called depression...

Thank you all very much again :-)