Took loans, can’t handle – really need help

Hello,

I'm Toni, 25 years old male from Estonia.

I once had a few problems with money due to me and my girlfriend (now ex, since last week) wanting to get an apartment. I was 1000€ on short so I entered my financial information on a loan company's site and they said they can offer me 7000€, I would have to pay back 11000€ euros, and for a bit over 250€ a month. I thought it's fine, I can hold onto the money long enough and make extra hours at work. My, young and dumb mind, 21 at the time believed too much of myself. I wasted too much and my expenses were lots bigger than my salary.

I kept the loan as a secret, because I didn't want to say I decided to make such a decision firstly myself and secondly, at all. I just wanted to be able to cover for everything.
Once I ran out of money, I went for another loan, telling myself I'll fix this situation. Second amount was 4000€, and I had to pay +150€ monthly, which was total of 400€ euros already, basically 50% of my monthly salary.

Well, as you may believe, I repeated my mistakes and I found myself in the same situation again. My girlfriend started seeing the negative effects something brings on me, so at one point I had to come clean. She was disappointed, truly devastated, but I don't blame her. I am just as much. I promised to fix it, to do extra hours at work and be rid of the loans in a year. I couldn't keep it. I kept taking small loans to pay for bigger ones and as embarrassing as it is to say, the total amount right now is 23000€ if I pay everything right now. If I pay the monthly payment (which is now in total 1050€ a month), I would have to pay a total of ~35000€. Right now I'm 1500€ short on 2 months payments - due to being quarantined (COVID-19), I haven't had a paycheck for 2 months and I was already running short on money each month.

I used to see happiness in the world. I used to have a lovable, lovely partner next to me. Now there's only a shadow of it.

I want to fix my mistakes. I want to prove my worth again as a person. I want to give her attention she needed when I felt down due to the burden of loans. I want to wake up in the morning know I can allow myself a meal. I can't accept the consequences, so I need any kind of financial help and I want to fix it all.

My heart is ready to do the right thing, but the situation has gotten over the head and there's just that disastrous feeling that holds me back on everything.

I can't connect to my PayPal, so I set the link over here: https://www.paypal.me/tonsu94

Thanks for your time! Stay safe!