Tears of a broken Smile

My name is Shawna I'm a 33 year old single mom raising two beautiful little girls. I'm also very hard worker someone who has a really big heart that's always there to help others. There's only one thing holding me back in life and that's all the ugliness behind my smile, "my teeth". Nothing has ever come easy in my life even as a child. Living in a broken home with every type of abuse with two sisters and a brother where we struggled to get by and barely had anything . To only lose my mother to cancer when I was 18 years old. 3 days after graduation. That day was one of the hardest days of my life. She was healthy when I went to school at Job Corps and when I got out, the sickness had completely taken over. And then to have to hold her hand and tell her that it was okay for her to leave this world and be in a better place, and then listen to her take her last breath was devastating. Still to this day I struggle. Then to have the next closest person to me. My auntie, was brutally murdered by her boyfriend in December 2013. So I've been through a lot of things in life. But I still hold my head up and smile, or at least I used to. A lot of whats holding me back is the lack of a better job due to my teeth. I can never afford the cost of what is needed to be done without ending up with dentures at 33 years old. I'm very much a people person who always loves putting a smile on someone's face, but it's kind of hard when I can't even smile myself do to my teeth. I just want the pain and the humiliation I've been living with for so long to become the bad memory of the past. Not for what prevents me from a chance at a successful future. I believe your smile is your everything. It's the way the world looks at and judges you with first impressions. People tend to treat you different when your judge by whats supposed to be a beautiful smile with confidence. Not one that's full of , holes, cracks, broken teeth, or missing completely. I had a huge procedure done when I was 24, right after having my first daughter, where they ripped out 11 to 13 of my teeth that were supposed to be replaced. But unfortunately somehow my Medicaid ran out so they "said" and my teeth were never replaced. So overtime the teeth that I did have left deteriorated and became the way they are today. Not only that it's a major health issue I'm anemic so I get sick easy. And any type of infection could make me really really sick or even take my life. And I want to be there to watch my girls grow up and make it past 38 unlike my mother. I've tried saving money to get them fixed, but I've only been able to replace one. I tried entering online competitions, I've been to multiple Dental consultations where they said it would cost way more than I could ever afford. I'm so tired of having to defend myself or explain to people when they look at me in that way. Those who have taking out the time to get to know me will tell you, " you can't take judge a book by it's cover" especially when it comes to me. I lost a really good job after six and a half years because of my teeth and other opportunities as well. I don't go out much anymore or apply myself the way I know I could or can if it wasn't for my smile holding me back, in fear of the hurtful things that are said not only behind my back but to my face. It's hard letting my two little girls see how much pain and embarrassment it brings to my life. My daughter pointed out that I don't smile in pictures anymore, and that I'm always trying to cover my mouth when I'm talking to people. So not only would getting my teeth fixed give me back the confidence I need to do something bigger with my life for me and my two little girls. A mother they can be proud of. So that when i enter a room and smile, people don't turn and walk the other way. I believe the scars of my past have hurt me long enough and shouldn't be what prevents me from having a successful future. I just want a chance to be looked at not for what, or who, I used to be. But for who I am today. You never really realize how truly important your teeth are behind your smile until you face the harsh, cruel, and judgmental world with teeth like mine. My teeth have honestly held me back from my life, the things I want to accomplish, and who I want to be. So I hope that you can find it in your hearts and take into consideration and realize how much your help can really change an impact someone's life forever.