Good day , I told my self not to ask or do this but i really have too..i dont have anyone to run too,, life is testing me so hard and over and over again throwing me all this unexpected unwanted circumstances. .To begin this actually its my first time writing and asking coz to be honest im the one who they always ask for a help its like im their problem solver,, now i think im the one who also need your support..I am a nursing student who stop last sem and not just last sem but also 8 to 10 years ago when i was taking my bs nursing too while working(working student in bakery n catering ).I only have a year and a half before graduation but unexpectedly need to stop for some family and financial problem..when i stop studying i work in different jobs including sales and telemarketing consultant in a hotel,baby sitting,washing dishes cleaning their houses and baking some cakes in a bakery,selling stuff like buy and sell and other almost all around just to be able to save money and to prepare my possible future..I only have grandparents which I've known ever since as my real mom and dad..But life always test u,back when my father got sick because of old age and other i stop working and take good care of him it was not that easy for me because we are the only 2 in the house and i need to find ways for us to have something for everyday needs atleast until the day when he said goodbye to me..I was so scared and i shut my self for almost 8-9 months or going to be a year until i woke up one day and start working again in a food chain and bakery store earning provincial very minimim amount .I didnt work for money but i work to forget and make my self busy those time coz i know that i need it.Its like working like a machine or a robot.I remember someone ask me how did i manage to be alone i said i am used to it..You know its hard to be in a broken family..thats why i really wanted to finish my school in nursing , not just because its my passion , so that i can also help other save lives and create a good future and family..a happy whole family which we always wanted..So even we have this family issue one day they contacted me to watch over my mom the mom i treat as my own too just like my dad which im talking about a while ago.She has diabetes and a a dementia and other like enlargement of the heart,,, so i stop my work in a bakery and do the caregiving stuff and a yaya as well in some nephew..all around actually...Until i decided while doing all this stuff why not go back to college and study again. When i enrolled in college i have to go back in first year because they say its new curriculum you need to start again at first year,, i was so debastated that after all my hard work before just to finish my study will now go in to nothing.But i need to accept it..until i reach third year college,, things become different my mom have an accident and we have this family issue too that time.So since im a nursing student i prefer life than money than my scholarship coz i know if you lost a life you cant turn it back..money is just there,school is just there,,,so i gave all my best to be with my mom and give all the care i can,, even i know that this might affect my grade as well as my scholarship which i also try to have money years ago.When my mom died of course since im always at the hospital got failing grades lost my scholarship and have nothing in my bank..I still manage to go back in college and do everything but life is so i dont know what words should i say too much test i dont know if i can still handle but im trying..Sometimes it makes me think why they give all this shit me why it should always be me who keep on helping and give way first to others then why atlast i got affected with all this shit in life what wrong ive done ..maybe its my fault too that i keep helping other first before my now look what they gave you should i repent helping others first or them and not giving priority about myself or future?..Why you feel like after all youve done good your the one who left behind with nothing..i am so mad at myself that even how many times i said be selfsh think about your self first yet i still end up cant saying no to those people..so I stop last sem and work as a baby sitter and other as well as go back in buy sell job sell clothes sell bags..until i met this girl who introduce me on this site she is actually one of the mother i baby sit, i should have write this earlier but i though i can still do it on my own just like before sad to say i think im running out of time now coz tomorrow will be their first day of classes.Enrollment has started last year dec 13 or 16 and i dont know if i can still enroll this week because they usually extend one week..I BADLY NEED TO GO BACK IN SCHOOL AND ENROLL COZ MY TEACHER SAID IF I WILL STOP AGAIN THIS SEM I MIGHT GO BACK AT STARTING STAGE AGAIN GO BACK ON FIRST YEAR BECAUSE OF NEW CURRICULUM JUST LIKE BEFORE WHICH I DONT WANT TO HAPPEN AGAIN COZ ITS LIKE EVERYTHING IVE DONE AND SACRIFISE WILL JUST TURN INTO NOTHING or IN VAIN...This idea or fact makes me sick gives me anxiety that depresses me because i cant just go tomorrow for enrollment if i have this balance in school which is 78 or 79k i think running 89k including my make up duty because i found out my scholarship didnt pay my tuition for 2 to 3 sem..Now i dont know what to do for im running out of time and i dont wanna go back in first year coz i should be in fourt year..I actually have 15k in hand and i think if ill just pay this week my balance maybe the school will allow me to enroll if i have a small amount to pay for downpayment .And As long as long i was able to settle first my balance .I might be able to talk to them to allow me to enroll my subject and maybe pay it next time if ever i only have to pay just for my balance.I know my 15k which i save is not enough because the last time enrolled having balace of 79k they didnt allow me to pay just 30k they told me to do something ,,ways how im going to make it to 40 to 50k. Now i dont know what they might tell me, might be to pay first my balnce coz i cant even have access to my school account meaning i need to go in school to settle it.I hope i can find it here this week even just for my balance or if possible for my enrollment too..coz they might not allow me anymore for late enrollment always...haha...I know always because im busy looking for money for this..to the kind hearted people who is willing to help me until i can finish my nursing school or even just to be able to enroll this sem or yea...r advance thank you so much..i hope one day i can return this favor back in other way especially when i reachmy goal to be a nurse someday...to be sucessful.Just really want to finish coz my age and my time is running cant go back in first year anymore coz i already did it before.Thank you for understanding..
Even a small amount for enrollment for this week will do just to add my money i have in hand so that they will allow me before its too late for me because its new curriculum and im afraid and worried that i might go back in first year if i cant enroll this sem. This might be their last extend week of enrollment.thank you so much..promise one day this favor will be return and i will try my best to help others too someday.