Starting life afresh (DEPRESSION, SUICIDE)

5 years ago, my father died from lung cancer one month after he was diagnosed, even though he has never smoked a cigarette in his life. My father died on Valentine's day. Life has been very hard ever since. My mother gambled to cope, I had trouble adapting to the loss, we moved a lot because we did not have sufficient funds to stay at a place. My extended family took this opportunity to get money out of my mother, which she kindly lent them, despite knowing we already have financial difficulties. They used it on family holidays to japan, etc, refusing to return whatever money they borrowed. I'm at the last year - getting my degree, and had to postpone school because we just don't have the money to pay for it. My mind caved in from the sudden loss of my father and I suffered from depression, up till this day. Still, I try to be there for people and pretend that things are okay but people who knew what I went through took advantage of my vulnerabilities but today, I am going to say that I am not okay. I cut myself 5 years ago to not feel the psychological pain. It has been 5 years but the scars are here to stay. I can't wear short sleeves in Singapore's intense heat, nor do i have money for surgery or tattoos. What I wish for is to have sufficient funds to either get my scars covered with tattoos or some medical way to remove them so I can lead a normal life and for me to be able to complete my studies. I know there are others out there suffering as well, but I sincerely hope someone out there is kind enough to give me a head start so I can finally get better and give back when I have the means.