Starting a new life without Bullying.

Hi, my name is Gwenny, 21 year old, and I’m a student at the Hanze Hogeschool in Groningen, Netherlands. I study Biology & Medical Research. That makes me an S-T-E-M gal!

I currently live close to my college, in a small town near Groningen. I moved to this town very recently. Here I hope to make a new start in my live, after having had a terrible start. Here’s a brief summary of my, in my opinion, unfortunate start in life.

Ever since I went to elementary school I’ve been bullied. I’ve always been excluded and called names. I only ever had one friend, whom sometimes took part in the bullying too, to prevent being bullied herself. Looking back, I realize I’ve been basically bribing her by sharing sweets and gifting her some of my belongings. She was the only one to sit next to me in class. Despite my best efforts, no one would interact with me.

My parents have repeatedly visited the school, but the bullying has only gotten worse. In fourth grade, my teachers had decided that the bullying would stop if they wouldn’t let me pass onto the next class, so I had to repeat fourth grade, despite not being a bad student. Unfortunately the bullying had only gotten worse. Eventually the teachers tried to reintroduce me into the group by making up different games, which didn’t work. The games changed into a ‘game’ of tag, where everyone tried to avoid me because I would have the ‘Gwenny virus’. I was repeatedly shoved if I tried to leave the playground.

Whenever I mentioned any of this to a teacher, I would always end up being blamed. This didn’t change through middle and high school. In high school I would only ever be talked to if someone needed awnsers for homework or other assignments. I was also forced to let others see my awnsers during tests. Eventually I stopped high school and started vocational education. I chose to do a vocational education for laboratory technician’s work. During the four year course, it initially started out well, and made a couple of contacts. Later on, that too deteriorated. On top of that, my parents, who never supported me anyway, divorced. I was being torn between living at either parent.

Add some abusive and aggressive boyfriends on top of that, and it’s pretty much my live up to a year ago. I didn't tell anyone for a lot of years, because in hindsight, those who would be supposed to care for me, my parents, didn’t do what they should’ve done. I didn't know how to think about it. I didn't know how to accept and deal with it. I didn't know how not to blame myself, or think it was my fault. It was something that really changed my life. It changed who I was completely. Going through trauma like that didn’t just have the physical ramifications one would experience. It’s an actual stress response triggering trauma. Re-experiencing that throughout years afterwards triggered pain signals and physical distress, along with mental and emotional pain.

Being urged by a physician I started seeing because of the pain, I sought the help of a counselor. In hindsight, I should’ve done that a lot earlier. I am still regularly seeing a counselor, and am improving bit by bit. I have learned that I should take care of myself, and not neglect my body. I was put into contact with a very renowned make-up artist, who showed me how to put on make-up, something I was never taught to. I am saving up money to see a clothing stylist, which is hard due to the costs of tuition. This is where my wish comes in; I would love support of any and everyone, because I want to see a stylist. I would also like to start a YouTube channel, to talk about daily stuff. I recently started riding a motorcycle because of its calming effect. I’d like to record my trips with a GoPro.

All of this costs quite a lot of money. So please, if you can help me in any way, I would be forever thankful to you, because all of you would be enabling me to finally express myself and become a better person after the bad start. YOU would be the reason why my life would take a turn for the better.

If a total of €500,- would be donated, I would pay off a small debt I have, and visit a fashion stylist to improve my looks and confidence.

If a total of €1000,- would be donated, I would do all of the above, plus I would purchase a camera for the YouTube channel about daily stuff.

If a total of €1500,- would be donated, I would do all of the above, plus I would purchase a GoPro camera for recording my motorcycle trips for a YouTube channel.

If a total of €2000,- would be donated, I would do all of the above, plus I would purchase new clothing for myself.

If a total of €5000,- would be donated, I would do all of the above, plus I would visit a plastic surgeon to look at treatment for scar removal due to bullying.